How do you make a character more active?

lemonhead · Oct 28, 2012

I have this one section of story where my mc becomes rather passive. She's in a new environment and just basically reacting to whatever happens around her. Compared to the rest of the book, this part falls flat. Problem is, I can't figure out how to make her more active without veering the story way off track. I know I'm asking, more or less, about a specific situation, but how do you handle it when you have an mc veering into spaghetti limb, eye glazed land? And again, I have the rest of the story somewhat limiting me so I can't just throw in circus monkeys or something.

Quentin Nokov · Oct 28, 2012

If I come into a situation where my characters become stagnant, I usually try to insert humor. It's actually worked great. I have to think about it and bounce ideas off my sister and of course I have to do it carefully, but all boring scenes become fun-reads because of my character reactions or slip-ups. Especially since she moved from one country to another and isn't familiar with all the idioms--things can become a little awkward. But humorously awkward.

It's sort of a delicate process to make something legitimately funny and not just forced. It takes a lot of work for me. A couple days mulling over ideas and conversations, but it's worth it in the end.

If I can't do something funny then I go down the serious route and reveal some back-story--but again that's delicate, too otherwise I'll be info-dumping.

brianjanuary · Oct 28, 2012

If your MC has a clearly-defined story goal and there is someone or something actively opposing that attainment of this goal, then you should have no problem with her passivity. If she enters a new environment, she should be figuring out how to use the new situation to her advantage to attain her goal--maybe she finds a new ally here or learns some new information that will help her achieve her goal. And the villain can always attack in the new environment.

jeffo20 · Oct 28, 2012

Do you need her to be in this new environment?

Jamesaritchie · Oct 28, 2012

Jeffo20 asked the first thing that popped into my mind. If I find a character in a situation with nothing to do, chances are the whole situation needs to go or be rewritten.

There should never be a time when the character has nothing to do, or at least nothing to attempt. If there's nothing for the character to do, the character is either in the wrong place, or the story itself is missing, usually because of a wrong turn somewhere before.

retlaw · Oct 28, 2012

Personally, the OP made me wince. If the MC is that passive then that section is, essentially, an infodump. Having said that - really depends on what's in that dump, what kind of story it is, how much set-up there's been for that chapter & how much what's in the chapter is uesd elsewhere. There is more than one kind of "action". What emotional or psychological movement can you give the MC?

But your MC sitting while the world spins is a story that is maybe looking for a bit more structure?

thothguard51 · Oct 28, 2012

Personality of the MC will dictate how active or passive she is at any given time...

I read lots of books where the action is a roller coaster ride. The author builds and builds to a wave crashing on shore and then has a transition chapter, to give the readers a breather.

The transition chapter or scene is a good time to show a bit more about a character, the environment, or world because it is outside of the action and does not interrupt.

I would not worry to much about a scene or chapter or two that seems slow, or passive, unless you have more of them than needed, or they interrupt the flow at the wrong time...

buz · Oct 28, 2012

Does she have a goal?

Could she have a goal?

She doesn't have to blow up a bank or anything...

Kerosene · Oct 28, 2012

Goals, motivations, the need/want affect; as others have said.

In all regards, I have someone come along and either stir up trouble, kick the beehive, beat some sense into them, etc.

Susan Coffin · Oct 28, 2012

What do you mean by nothing to do? If the character is engaged in interior monologue, then you are giving them something to do. The interior monologue must accomplish something, of course.

Also, I echo the question of whether the new environment is really necessary. If the story falls flat with the new environment chapter, then I would wonder if it really needs to be there.

lemonhead · Oct 28, 2012

Okay. The story goals are solid. On a macro level there is goals and serious conflict. The new environment is necessary. And she does do things and want things. I guess they just feel small-scale compared, even though they aren't.

What's funny is, I don't want it to be all big action, it's not the right time in the story for that, this is the point at which all her prior decisions catch up with her and the small tests she goes through in this section are supposed to quietly peel back who she is inside, which then results in the major outward action. I think maybe its just the micro level that's giving me trouble. Like I haven't figured out the right things to focus on in her wants to give the entire section strength. Finding the right way to communicate the internal movement. Because its definitely internal action at this point, while everyone else remains externally active. Does that make sense?

Eta: it's about four scenes total, all still advance the plot...are needed for the plot. It's just writing them the right way to have it more than plot point a to plot point b.

retlaw · Oct 28, 2012

lemonhead said:
Okay. The story goals are solid. On a macro level there is goals and serious conflict. The new environment is necessary. And she does do things and want things. I guess they just feel small-scale compared, even though they aren't.

...

Eta: it's about four scenes total, all still advance the plot...are needed for the plot. It's just writing them the right way to have it more than plot point a to plot point b.

If you are driving plot or character in an entertaining manner, then I think what you have is prolly ok.

BethS · Oct 28, 2012

lemonhead said:
I have this one section of story where my mc becomes rather passive. She's in a new environment and just basically reacting to whatever happens around her. Compared to the rest of the book, this part falls flat.

Have her stop reacting and begin acting. Which doesn't mean she has to blunder off into danger or take charge of everyone around her and or start a war. These can be small actions, small decisions, but added together they spell a pattern of rebellion against passivity. She has goals, doesn't she? Things she wants to obtain or accomplish? What can she do toward those?

Putputt · Oct 28, 2012

I don't think it's a problem as long as the scene is fulfilling its motivation. In the first chapter of Game of Thrones, Bran is a passive audience member witnessing a beheading. He doesn't actively do anything in the scene. When they come across the direwolf corpse, he doesn't do anything overtly expressive to save the pups. But the chapter still works because it does it what it should do, which is to introduce us to the world and it uses Bran as a pair of naive, innocent eyes for the readers to see the other main characters for the first time.

In The Help, Aibileen remains passive for the longest time, resisting Skeeter's offer to write her story (for very good reasons). Still, the story moves forward because the lack of action on the surface hides a raging internal battle that's so goddamned interesting to read. There's a lot of internal movement in the whole book that just twists your insides...so it's definitely not a boring read.

Another book which springs to mind is Kingsolver's Poisonwood Bible. Two of the main characters are outwardly passive...namely Orleanna and Adah. But the internal dialogue is just as strong as the other characters, so even though they show minimal physical action, you don't go away thinking, "God, what a passive character. It's so boring reading about her!"

Hope that helps!

rainbowsandunicorns · Oct 28, 2012

this is the point at which all her prior decisions catch up with her and the small tests she goes through in this section are supposed to quietly peel back who she is inside, which then results in the major outward action

This makes it sound like a necessary, logical step. It's a time for coping and by doing so there is action.

I've just written a scene like this in my WIP and compared to all the excitement and action surrounding this scene it feels somewhat limp. I know this scene is necessary because without it my character won't have any growth and she won't feel realistic. She can't go around accidentally killing people with her actions and not feel something about it, not have to deal with it.

It sounds like you're in the same spot I was. I wrote a list of her goals for that scene and included everything she had to come to terms with. It helped me push through it. When I revise I might still find it limp and have to make changes but for now, I know it's needed and that something was accomplished with the scene.

lemonhead · Oct 28, 2012

Thanks puttputt and rainbowsandunicorns, that was definitely helpful. I know there isn't an easy answer and the scenes are necessary, it's just how to make it a strong part of the narrative. Sigh. But you've given me good things to chew on!

I think sometimes I'm weak at reactions, emotional reactions, and I struggle to write them with strength and action needed. And of course that's probably what the narrative is missing to make her more active. Some sort of response.

dangerousbill · Oct 28, 2012

lemonhead said:
I have this one section of story where my mc becomes rather passive.

Can she attempt to be proactive and be rebuffed?

rwm4768 · Oct 28, 2012

I don't think a character has to be active all the time. How many people in real life are always active? Just make sure she has clear goals to work toward. Sometimes, the plot requires that things happen to the character. Just don't rely on it too much.

tko · Oct 28, 2012

cut out the part where she isn't active?

Seriously. Why do you need the part where she isn't active? Just skip over it, or summarize it, and move on.

You may think it's essential to something in your story. But that's part of the challenge of being a writer - showing the passive and/or boring parts in a quick summary that gets the point across.

rainbowsandunicorns · Oct 29, 2012

I think sometimes I'm weak at reactions, emotional reactions, and I struggle to write them with strength and action needed.

That's my problem with them too! You can also try what tko said and summarize it. Not completely but enough to get you through to the next scene. Once your done with whole story, you'll know your character more, where they need to end up emotionally, and be better able to make that scene work for you when you revise.

jaksen · Oct 29, 2012

During the 'inactive' sections you keep the character interesting. Does he have an interest that connects with the story - does he write, draw, sing, dig up old junk sites in the woods?

Seriously, just keep him or her going in an interesting way. Is there a mystery or puzzle or question in the story? (Many stories have a question that the MC needs to answer or something that is 'bugging' the MC. The novel need not be a mystery for this to happen.) During an 'inactive' section, the MC might be working on this.

My only published work are shorts, however, so an inactive section in a short story = the mark of death.

Unless, unless I keep it interesting.

WeaselFire · Oct 29, 2012

lemonhead said:
Problem is, I can't figure out how to make her more active without veering the story way off track.

That may be an indication that you need to go that route. Write it and see.

Jeff

VoireyLinger · Oct 29, 2012

I have a similar situation. My character's personality is such that when she's in a new environment, she sits back and observes, quietly finding where she needs to fit in. she came across as a doormat initially.

I fixed it by getting deep in her head, letting the reader see her filter information, see the quiet decisions she does make. she didn't just stand with her back to the wall, she located a place where she could see the room, placed herself so no one would sneak in behind her and made an effort to go unnoticed. My readers have all commented that even though she was physically doing the same things, she didn't feel like she was passively waiting in the revised version.

Wilde_at_heart · Oct 29, 2012

lemonhead said:
I have this one section of story where my mc becomes rather passive. She's in a new environment and just basically reacting to whatever happens around her. Compared to the rest of the book, this part falls flat. Problem is, I can't figure out how to make her more active without veering the story way off track. I know I'm asking, more or less, about a specific situation, but how do you handle it when you have an mc veering into spaghetti limb, eye glazed land? And again, I have the rest of the story somewhat limiting me so I can't just throw in circus monkeys or something.

Maybe just keep it as brief as possible so that it isn't distracting from the main narrative?

ARoyce · Oct 29, 2012

VoireyLinger said:
I have a similar situation. My character's personality is such that when she's in a new environment, she sits back and observes, quietly finding where she needs to fit in. she came across as a doormat initially.

I fixed it by getting deep in her head, letting the reader see her filter information, see the quiet decisions she does make. she didn't just stand with her back to the wall, she located a place where she could see the room, placed herself so no one would sneak in behind her and made an effort to go unnoticed. My readers have all commented that even though she was physically doing the same things, she didn't feel like she was passively waiting in the revised version.

I agree with this. Having little physical action isn't the same as being passive. Is she planning? Preparing? Seeking information? Sorting through information she already has? What is she doing internally or on a small scale that feeds into the bigger action?

If she went from a big conflict to, say, going for an ice cream cone, that's a problem. But if she finds herself in a hideout or in an unfamiliar place where she has to figure things out, you can show her actively thinking through the situation and assessing her circumstances.

Then again, you might consider THE HUNGER GAMES, when Katniss goes to get prepared for the games. She's sometimes passive, especially when she's being primped and polished, but it's part of the bigger picture, part of the criticism of the games themselves. And she and other characters subtly rail against the superficiality, even though she submits to it.

How do you make a character more active?

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