Using Can't, He'd, Don't etc, etc in writing?

CJ.Wolfe · May 23, 2012

I'm currently 'attempting' to write in the past tense, first person on my 6yro character Senna. I know we aren't technically supposed to use contractions, but I was wondering as she is a child, if it would actually suit her 'voice' more to use contractions in her narration?

Here's an example:

I glared at it. I wouldn’t cry.
If Dee found me like this, he’d chop my hair off all over again. He reckons it’s stupid to have it so long. I never cared until now. Now I hated it. I tugged again. I closed my eyes and bit my lip. It hurt.

Jay Lim · May 23, 2012

Contractions are absolutely fine as there is an introspection. It is as though Senna is talking to herself.

Technically, we are taught to use contractions only in dialogs. Yet, in a first person perspective novel, we do observe that contractions are widely used when the protagonist is thinking or talking to himself.

In fact, it will be good to use contractions for such instances as I believe that your character is a human and not a robot. Thus, instead of saying, "I had completed my work", a more natural sounding human will say, "I'd completed my work."

I hope my example does you well. All the best!

alleycat · May 23, 2012

There is no "rule" against using contractions (either in dialogue or narration) except for the most formal types of writing where it is sometimes frowned upon.

Pick up the nearest novel or two you have at hand. Look at what the writer(s) used.

roseangel · May 23, 2012

Most novels that I read are quite liberal with contractions, both in narration and dialogue.

Once! · May 24, 2012

Have you read "To Kill a Mockingbird" by Harper Lee?

IMHO, one of the finest novels ever written. One of the few novels that make me want to grab people by the lapels and ask "have you ever read "To Kill a Mockingbird"? by Harper Lee?"

A beautiful book. A powerful book. A world-changer.

It's written from the first person perspective of a young girl, just like your book. Harper Lee uses contractions sparingly in the text and liberally in quoted speech. Does it work? Oh, yes, yes, yes.

In more modern prose, contractions in first person POV are perfectly fine so long as you don't overdo them. But you could do far worse than read To Kill a Mockingbird.

Did I mention that you really ought to read it?

CJ.Wolfe · May 24, 2012

Thanks everyone

That was really quick and really helpful. I'm aiming for more simple narration when using Senna's pov, and I feel the contractions make her sound more childish. I remember my younger sister used to do one - and for the life of me I can't remember what it was, and I'm really annoyed because I know it would have been good to use - and it technically made sense, but that wasn't the way you are supposed to say it.

So that's what I wanted to do with Senna. Then go back to using "bigger" words and more descriptive language in the other character's POV

CJ.Wolfe · May 24, 2012

Once! said:
Have you read "To Kill a Mockingbird" by Harper Lee?

IMHO, one of the finest novels ever written. One of the few novels that make me want to grab people by the lapels and ask "have you ever read "To Kill a Mockingbird"? by Harper Lee?"

A beautiful book. A powerful book. A world-changer.
...

Did I mention that you really ought to read it?

lol, I'll put it on my list

Bufty · May 24, 2012

You appear to be mixing POV's with at least one first person POV character - the six-year-old.

Be careful and know what you're doing.

Is it first person from a six-year-old's perspective, or is it an older person recalling and relating what happened when they were six years old - there is a huge difference and in the latter case no need to lapse into the language of a six-year-old. Don't try and be too clever.

Check out the FAQ threads here and in the Basic Writing Questions Forum - there are plenty of threads on POV.

Good luck.

CJ.Wolfe said:
Thanks everyone That was really quick and really helpful. I'm aiming for more simple narration when using Senna's pov, and I feel the contractions make her sound more childish. I remember my younger sister used to do one - and for the life of me I can't remember what it was, and I'm really annoyed because I know it would have been good to use - and it technically made sense, but that wasn't the way you are supposed to say it.

So that's what I wanted to do with Senna. Then go back to using "bigger" words and more descriptive language in the other character's POV

CJ.Wolfe · May 24, 2012

Bufty said:
Is it first person from a six-year-old's perspective, or is it an older person recalling and relating what happened when they were six years old - there is a huge difference and in the latter case no need to lapse into the language of a six-year-old. Don't try and be too clever.

I'm not sure I know what you mean? I only posted a little bit of the story, and I went back over it, I can't see where I mixed the pov? But I just might not be seeing what you're seeing.

I know the difference, and I'm aiming for 'first person from a 6-yro perspective'. I wanted to try it out, I've recently read a story that did the same, and I thought it would be effective for my story seeing how she is one of 2 MC's. I can't do the latter - an older person recalling etc, as she doesn't age. However I'm usually a third-person pov writer, so I know I may be getting my tenses wrong etc. I plain to do a lot of editing to make sure that doesn't get out of hand.

I did look at the forums, and searched but I didn't seem to find an answer to this question, so that's why I asked.

If you could point out where you thought I was going wrong I'd appreciate you letting me know

Devil Ledbetter · May 24, 2012

CJ.Wolfe said:
I know we aren't technically supposed to use contractions,

This is news to me. I use them all the time, in dialogue and in 1st and 3rd person narrative. I see contractions all the time in modern novels. I'd think avoiding contractions could make the text sound rather stilted.

CaroGirl · May 24, 2012

Devil Ledbetter said:
This is news to me. I use them all the time, in dialogue and in 1st and 3rd person narrative. I see contractions all the time in modern novels. I'd think avoiding contractions could make the text sound rather stilted.

^^^ This.

jaksen · May 24, 2012

Devil Ledbetter said:
This is news to me. I use them all the time, in dialogue and in 1st and 3rd person narrative. I see contractions all the time in modern novels. I'd think avoiding contractions could make the text sound rather stilted.

This 1000X. This.

And for a scene in which someone looks back at their six-year old self, is the scene written from a six-year old POV?

Or from the adult looking back at when he/she was six years old?

One more thing, six year old children can be surprisingly adept with language. I've got a four-year old grandson who told me the other day that, 'I didn't realize those flowers were rhododendrons.'

Of course, he also says 'I runned across the grass.' When I corrected him, he laughed and said it that way again. He also says things like, 'I hided all my toys.'

But a six year old would have a fairly good grasp of what to say and how to say it and might even throw in a few 'big words,' too.

Hang around a playground and listen.

Lil · May 24, 2012

There is absolutely no "rule" against using contractions. Their use and frequency depends entirely on the tone of what you are writing, and you are the only one who knows what that tone is.

Bufty · May 24, 2012

I was referring to your using two POV's in the story, not suggesting you had used two POV's in the snippet.

Sorry if my comment caused confusion.

CJ.Wolfe said:
I'm not sure I know what you mean? I only posted a little bit of the story, and I went back over it, I can't see where I mixed the pov? But I just might not be seeing what you're seeing.

I know the difference, and I'm aiming for 'first person from a 6-yro perspective'. I wanted to try it out, I've recently read a story that did the same, and I thought it would be effective for my story seeing how she is one of 2 MC's. I can't do the latter - an older person recalling etc, as she doesn't age. However I'm usually a third-person pov writer, so I know I may be getting my tenses wrong etc. I plain to do a lot of editing to make sure that doesn't get out of hand.

I did look at the forums, and searched but I didn't seem to find an answer to this question, so that's why I asked.

If you could point out where you thought I was going wrong I'd appreciate you letting me know

heza · May 24, 2012

Devil Ledbetter said:
This is news to me. I use them all the time, in dialogue and in 1st and 3rd person narrative. I see contractions all the time in modern novels. I'd think avoiding contractions could make the text sound rather stilted.

Word.

James D. Macdonald · May 24, 2012

CJ.Wolfe said:
I know we aren't technically supposed to use contractions....

Sez who?

LJD · May 24, 2012

CJ.Wolfe said:
I know we aren't technically supposed to use contractions

In formal writing, perhaps.

But dialogue with absolutely no contractions sounds pretty weird. Try paying attention to contractions in the novel you're reading....I bet they're present.

kaitie · May 24, 2012

Contractions are only frowned upon in formal, scientific sort of writing. For novels, I'd expect them. In fact, usually if I don't see them it sounds too stilted and awkward. The only times I see them not used nowadays that I can remember are fantasy novels.

Something more important to watch out for in your six-year-old: kids have distinct ways of talking. The example you've given sounds older than six to me. That might be just my own random opinion there, but I'd both listen a lot to little kids (especially during pretend play. Gives you a good idea of how their minds work). I'd also suggest reading Room, which had an amazingly accurate five-year-old narrator.

Voice is hard to capture, especially for young children. Now, if you're writing it as if she's an adult looking back, it gives you a bit more leeway.

job · May 24, 2012

If I'm right, you want to create a six-year-old's POV. This would encompass dialog, Internal Monologue, the general 'internals' that represent the child thinking, and the narrative that surrounds the child's POV.

It's challenging to write from the POV of a child. Hard to get it right. Hard to do it for any length of time and not bore the reader.

You might look at To Kill A Mockingbird, The Room, (Emma Donoghue) and maybe Flowers for Algernon" (Daniel Keyes) and The Sound and the Fury, which have slightly similar special voices.

I'd suggest you find some six-year-olds and listen to them. If you can make sound recordings, it will be even better. (Kids do not eschew contractions. You don't have to either.)

rwm4768 · May 24, 2012

There's no problem with using contraction in narration. In fact, I agree with the above poster who say it sounds too stilted if you don't use them. Even in fantasy they show up--well, at least in my fantasy. : )

They also show up in Brandon Sanderson's The Way of King's, which I'm reading right now.

dangerousbill · May 24, 2012

CJ.Wolfe said:
I'm currently 'attempting' to write in the past tense, first person on my 6yro character Senna. I know we aren't technically supposed to use contractions, but I was wondering as she is a child, if it would actually suit her 'voice' more to use contractions in her narration?

I use contractions all the time, in dialogue as well as narrative. Otherwise, my writing seems too formal or even pompous. I think that's one 'rule' that's pretty worn around around the edges.

Once! · May 24, 2012

Thinking about this while I couldn't sleep last night, and it occurs that there are different breeds of contractions. And I think we might deal with them differently, even if we are not always aware that we are doing it.

It's still very much a matter of personal taste, but my take on it goes something like this:

At the top end, the cream of the contractions if you will, the elite of elisions, we have those words which look more natural than their longer forms. For example, I would nearly always use "etc" rather than "etcetera". Just looks right. By the same token, "can't" looks better than "cannot". At least, to my eyes.

Then we have the words which are on a par with their parents. I find that "isn't" and "don't" are virtually interchangeable with "is not" and "do not". I would pick one over the other if I had ulterior motives that I hadn't declared yet. Stylistic stuff.

Then we have the words which are leaning more to the casual than the smart of "smart casual". Words with ripped T shirts, trousers crying out for a belt and too much nether-garment showing. (In olden days, a glimpse of stocking was looked on as something shocking. Now? Heaven knows...)

In this category I would put contractions that omit more than one letter such as won't and he'd. I'd be less inclined to put these in formal writing.

Even lower still and we get the likes of "ain't". I use it for a joke and in first person, but rarely otherwise.

And please please please don't mention "would of". I <insert horror cliche> every time I hear that.

Terie · May 25, 2012

CJ.Wolfe said:
I know we aren't technically supposed to use contractions...

Where did you find this 'rule'? I mean this question seriously. There are so many fake rules about writing that it's quite absurd, and I'm really curious to know where they come from. Can you point to a source that says not to use contractions?

CJ.Wolfe · May 25, 2012

Thanks

A lot of great advice and things to think about here

colealpaugh · May 25, 2012

Seems there are editors at some houses - including the biggest - who frown on contractions. It might be the writer executing his or her style and the editor just going along, but from also reading the author blogs, I doubt it. Most of my favorite usual reads are filled with contractions, so it's a bit jarring at first. But I slip into it after a few pages and stop noticing.

Using Can't, He'd, Don't etc, etc in writing?

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