What Is Love?

Lyxdeslic · Mar 9, 2012

...baby don't hurt me, don't hurt me, no more.

Seriously, greater minds than mine have explored, pondered and conjectured upon this silly little emotion for millenia...and still there are no absolutes on this.

Therefore, I ask, what is love...to you?

Me? Indescribable. Somewhere during the forming of this chemical imbalance, there's a moment, a brief instance where I decide I'll do anything for this person. For those of you with kids, and hopefully souls, it's that same power you feel when you look upon your gooped up lad or lass for the first time.

Like I said, greater minds and all that. Since all your minds are certainly greater than mine, what say you?

Lyx

robjvargas · Mar 9, 2012

Love... ah, that many-splendoured thing.

It manifests in so many different ways. I can see why it's so hard to define.

For me, the common thread through all the manifestations of love is a willful sacrifice of self.

I don't think it works well as a definition. But it sure seems to me that when it's carried out as something "I" (generic first person) want, it never works out well, and isn't love. Lust, maybe. Covetousness, perhaps. But not love.

LAgrunion · Mar 9, 2012

Haddaway . . . what a great song to dance to.

I'm slightly (ok, maybe more than slightly) cynical about romantic love.

Confining this discussion strictly to the romantic realm, I would say that people *like* others. You can like another a little. You can like another a lot. Somewhere along this spectrum of like, you slap a label of "love" on how much you like the other person. To me, love is not so much a distinct stage as it is an intense liking of another. To complicate matters, because it's a subjective assessment, different people will have different threshold for love.

The Haddaway song offers a definition that might be useful:

"I want no other, no other lover
This is your life, our time
When we are together, I need you forever"

When you like another person so much that you just want that person forever and you are completely uninterested in anyone else (and this feeling is sustained, not fleeting), then it seems fair to label it love.

Just my completely unscientific opinion...

Lyxdeslic · Mar 9, 2012

robjvargas said:
... But it sure seems to me that when it's carried out as something "I" (generic first person) want, it never works out well, and isn't love. Lust, maybe. Covetousness, perhaps. But not love.

Hmmm, I see your point. But perhaps, just maybe, it's that pesky one-sided, unrequited stuff.

Either way, this undefinable emotion/chemical reaction has the power to both build and crumble cities. It can heal or rip a person in two. It can make you the strongest human alive, or leave you a puddling heap of bones cowering in a corner.

What is love? Insanity me thinks.

Lyx

Xelebes · Mar 9, 2012

Lust, limerence, and longing.

Caitlin Black · Mar 9, 2012

Hmm. Love is something I'm not familiar with.

My sister once asked/assumed me, "Well, you love your family, right? Even if they tick you off, you still love them!" It was said in a "Duh!" sort of way.

Honestly, no, I don't. I define love purely as a romantic thing, so there's that, then also the fact that when my family ticks me off? I'm ticked off! I'm not secretly going, "Oh, that's alright, because I love you. Nawww." I'm just pissed.

For me, love is something that happens when you choose the person you love. I didn't choose my family. When I've had friends, it seemed like a choice, but it was just a choice between finite options. I didn't choose, "Oh, they'd have to be like this and that and etc." Just the option that seemed preferable out of my choices available.

But when it comes to romantic love... Well, I *do* choose in a very pointed way who I want to let get that close to me, and if one of us chooses to end the relationship, then generally we don't see each other anymore. With friends... You might choose to not see Person A anymore, but if A is always with B and C, and you choose to see B and C, chances are you'll suck it up and put up with A, just to see B and C.

All that said, the only love I've ever had is false love (telling myself I love someone because I was sexually active with them) and unrequited love (which probably would've turned into something crap if it had ever been requited).

/downer

sparnols · Mar 9, 2012

Lyxdeslic said:
Either way, this undefinable emotion/chemical reaction has the power to both build and crumble cities. It can heal or rip a person in two. It can make you the strongest human alive, or leave you a puddling heap of bones cowering in a corner.

What is love? Insanity me thinks.

Yes this can be true. but it is also these qualities that can define love. For it is love that can rebuild those cities, it is that other person having the ability to heal you or make you strong as well as destroy you. It is when a persons smile can brighten your day and you can say you want to be the one to brighten thiers. However true love can never be one sided. You know when your world crumbles and they put the pieces back together for you that you are loved.

Caitlin Black · Mar 9, 2012

And the cynical lyricist in me just says:

Love is just a reason,
We're all searching for,
To carry out the season,
Reaching for our more.

robjvargas · Mar 9, 2012

Lyxdeslic said:
Hmmm, I see your point. But perhaps, just maybe, it's that pesky one-sided, unrequited stuff.

That's the convention, isn't it?

I don't buy it.

I can't speak for everyone, but when I've experienced that, it's been about me. What I want. What I feel. Nothing about the other.

And that's not love.

Siri Kirpal · Mar 10, 2012

robjvargas said:
Love... ah, that many-splendoured thing.

It manifests in so many different ways. I can see why it's so hard to define.

For me, the common thread through all the manifestations of love is a willful sacrifice of self.

I don't think it works well as a definition. But it sure seems to me that when it's carried out as something "I" (generic first person) want, it never works out well, and isn't love. Lust, maybe. Covetousness, perhaps. But not love.

Sat Nam! (Literally "Truth Name"--a Sikh greeting)

Yep!

Love is the indefinable vastness of soul that makes you want to give yourself to the whole universe.

Blessings,

Siri Kirpal

Maryn · Mar 10, 2012

To me, it's wanting the other person's well-being and happiness more than I want my own, not just now when I've got the warm-fuzzies (or the hot nasties) for that person but all the time, even when that person is being horrid, as we all are on occasion.

Mr. Maryn and I have argued, more than once even, over my tendency to give him the better piece of fish, the unbroken wedge of pie, like that, when he wants me to have the good one.

On the other hand,
I want to know what love i-i-i-is,
I want you to show me...

Maryn, who lives near Lou Gramm and has seen him around

Shakesbear · Mar 10, 2012

Love looks not with the eyes but with the mind, there fore is winged Cupid painted blind.

Love is not love that alters when it alteration finds..

Love is the matching of two people who have something that is indefinable and rare. Love is the intense feeling of one person for another without judgement. It is a compatibility of spirit. A physical outpouring of emotions that anyone outside of the relationship cannot share, understand or explain. Love takes you by the guts and shakes you until you physically, emotionally and psychologically relate to and need the person of your desire. When the one you live dies there are no words to describe the emptiness and sense of loss. There is no one who can take their place, no one who you would want to hold you. Love is a blessing and a curse.

kayleamay · Mar 10, 2012

Love is compatible neurosis.

Caitlin Black · Mar 10, 2012

kayleamay said:
Love is compatible neurosis.

That should be the title of a self-help book for realists. :tongue

rhymegirl · Mar 10, 2012

Lyxdeslic · Mar 10, 2012

robjvargas said:
That's the convention, isn't it?

I don't buy it.

I can't speak for everyone, but when I've experienced that, it's been about me. What I want. What I feel. Nothing about the other.

And that's not love.

Right.

And I really can't think of a counter debate, 'cause see, when I've been there, as much as I believed my love was absolutely selfless, it wasn't. There was a condition. One selfish thing I needed reciprocated.

To be loved back. Wherein lies the rub. If you "love" somebody, but need to be "loved" back, is your love genuine in the first place?

I honestly don't know. Take ice cream. Love. It. But it jumbles my stomach all kinds of sideways. I know what I'm getting into beforehand, choose to proceed, it treats me awfully, and I always go back for more.

Hmm, probably a whole 'nother thread topic: masochistic love.

Lyx

Susan Coffin · Mar 10, 2012

Love just is.

BeThatAsItMay · Mar 11, 2012

Are you talking about the love between a man and a woman only (or more generally - like love for chickens etc.- because the question is vague)

Lyxdeslic · Mar 11, 2012

BeThatAsItMay said:
Are you talking about the love between a man and a woman only (or more generally - like love for chickens etc.- because the question is vague)

Man woman, man man, woman woman, person person. Love between human beings.

Doesn't even have to be romantic.

As much of a fan as I'm not of that greatest selling book of all time, its famous "Love is..." verse is kinda spot on.

Lyx

rhymegirl · Mar 11, 2012

BeThatAsItMay said:
Are you talking about the love between a man and a woman only (or more generally - like love for chickens etc.- because the question is vague)

Love for chickens. Ha!

Is there anyone here who has a love for chickens?

Ambrosia · Mar 11, 2012

I have a love for chickens, when I have the little buggers. I haven't had any for a couple years, but having chickens (like any other animal that you care for and care about) is a love affair. And if you don't believe me, then you have never seen a farmer go out in sub-zero temperatures with a nasty wind blowing in the middle of a freaking snow storm and try to fix a wall or a roof that has come loose so their little darlings won't freeze. Been there, done that.

The problem with the question in the OP, imo, is there are many kinds of love. Unfortunately, in the English language there is only one word for it. Which is very limiting.

Mclesh · Mar 11, 2012

rhymegirl said:
Love for chickens. Ha!

Is there anyone here who has a love for chickens?

My mother has three chickens. She loves them dearly, makes special food for them and dotes over them. I'm so glad, though. They give her something to love and take care of. She's had a lot of loss to deal with the past couple of years.

Love is complex, the most complex of human emotions, I think. One aspect of love I've been thinking about lately because of some personal things I'm dealing with is the idea of having someone devoted to you, who will share your pains, your burdens, and shoulder them right alongside you. My husband has proven himself again and again to be my rock in my times of need. That, to me, is love.

Lyxdeslic · Mar 11, 2012

Ambrosia said:
...The problem with the question in the OP, imo, is there are many kinds of love. Unfortunately, in the English language there is only one word for it. Which is very limiting.

Interesting. And perhaps points to the core issue of why "love" is so difficult to define. We upright-walking, opposable-thumbed mammals tend to complicate everything.

Love is love, whatever its definition (IMO). Sure, there's love with a side of sex, love with a side of friendship, love with a side of familial obligation. To me, those aren't different types of "love." They're different types of relationships.

Meh, who knows? Love is for the lucky ones.

Lyx

Lavern08 · Mar 11, 2012

rhymegirl said:
Love for chickens. Ha!

Is there anyone here who has a love for chickens?

Obviously, you haven't met Shyne, Rhymegirl.

That man loves him some chicken!

http://www.absolutewrite.com/forums/showthread.php?t=176888&highlight=Guess+What%3F

Deizelcore · Mar 11, 2012

Oh, great, now I can't get that song out of my head.

What Is Love?

Laughing every time I choke.

not to be taken seriously

Laughing every time I choke.

Delerium ex Ennui

Wild one

Wild one

Swan in Process

I Tried

knows a hawk from a handsaw

I'm on the phone.

Wild one

It's a New Year!

Laughing every time I choke.

Tell it like it Is

Laughing every time I choke.

It's a New Year!

Grand Duchess

It's too hot

Laughing every time I choke.

Sit Down, and Shut Up!

This is not a user title