Annoying Stuff

Novilia · Dec 8, 2005

I think it'd be kind of cool if people would just list some things that really annoy them when they are reading a book and sort of help each other out so we get an idea of stuff that we should maybe stay away from. Here are some things that annoy me:

* People who put characters in their books and then give them nothing more than a name and a few meaningless interactions just so that they have someone they can kill becasuse they don't have the guts to kill a main character.

* Books that put all the technical information first. Example: Helen of Branchwood was the supreme Queen of Geek Wood. Her father had been having an affair with an elf. The council was meeting today.... And on and on and on with no emotion MAKE IT STOP. MAKE IT STOP!!!!!!!!

* Characters that spend an excessive amount of time talking about things like pimpels when they aren't supposed to be shallow.

* People whose books are obviously coping off books like the Lord of the Rings.

underthecity · Dec 8, 2005

The one thing that comes to mind is when I'm reading a highly-anticipated new novel and really want to get into the meat of the story, but for the first several chapters the author goes on and on and on and on with character introspection and reminisces. And then spends an inordinate amount of time discussing the culture and background and motivations of the secondary characters. I find my eyes glazing over as I start to skim over all that stuff to try to figure out where the story begins.

It's reasons like this why I don't finish some books.

allen

LightShadow · Dec 8, 2005

Excessive characterization like Michener

Excessive technical detail like Clancy

Excessive meandering like Herbert

Excessive colorful description like Tolkien

Bouncing around chronologically like Wallace

Changing POV with poor timing like LeGuin

Using sex to sell like Krantz

Trying to be funny in a non-comical way like Heller

underthecity · Dec 8, 2005

LightShadow said:
Excessive technical detail like Clancy

How about Michael Crichton? I love his books, but how many pages did he discuss Chaos Theory in Jurassic Park? One was enough.

allen

Julie Worth · Dec 8, 2005

LightShadow said:
Trying to be funny in a non-comical way like Heller

I thought he was funny...a long time ago...when I was a child.

Anyway, I was going to say the same thing. I threw The DV Code against the wall when he trotted out some academic humor. The HORROR!

LightShadow · Dec 8, 2005

Da Vinci Code just pissed me off. I thought it was crap. His book, Digital Fortress, was much better. DV Code did well because of the controversy, so that adds one more to the list:

Writers that use controversy to sell their material like Brown.

then again, sometimes bad publicity is good publicity.

FolkloreFanatic · Dec 8, 2005

* fantasy books that try so hard NOT to be LotR or HP that they eliminate the reasons I read fantasy in the first place (elves, magic, wizards, new civilizations...did I mention elves?). I don't care what book is like another book. I just care if the story is a good story.

* when authors like Crichton get fanatical, stupid ideas in their heads and claim their fiction is fact (State Of Fear, trying to prove that global warming doesn't exist...

). Dan Brown did this, too. Oi vey.

* authors who lobotomize their characters--and their story--more than halfway into the series (ala Hermione Granger, among other things, in Half Blood Prince).

* not being able to tell the difference between seduction and rape (why I can't read romance novels).

* Blonde bombshells, bimbos, ditzes and other horrible female stereotypes.

* Terminator-meets-Law & Order-cop who's supposed to be attractive and other male stereotypes.

* 1st-person fiction that oozes narcissism (read: Anne Rice narrating from the POV of Jesus. HELLO!). Actually, I dislike most 1st-person fiction, period.

I'm sure I can add more to this when I'm half-conscious.

clara bow · Dec 8, 2005

Boring scenes (as in, the author clearly thought the subject matter was riveting, but it's really just boring, boring, boring). So boring as in I can't get past the third sentence. I mean, good to great writing can elevate even the most mundane of scenes. It's surreal to see that some (published) writers can do it and others can't.

Insanely complicated names that seem cobbled together from about three or four different languages

Excessive tags, or ones that don't let the dialogue speak for itself

Poor sentence construction

Insipid plots

Plots that are clearly derivative, but not in a clever or fresh way (e.g., clones of Harry Potter)

DamaNegra · Dec 8, 2005

The things that annoy me the most in a book (or a movie, for that fact) is when the book is supposedly realistical; but then the main character finds himself surrounded by a hundred armed soldiers trained to kill, and to top it off he has his hands tied behind his back... and he manages a miraculous escape in which he kills all the bad guys. I mean, come on!!!

Another thing I hate is the overuse of suspense. Like:
"Oh my god!" Lindsay couldn't believe her eyes.
Cut scene. Then the next scene goes and blah blah blah and then:
"What did you saw, Lindsay?"
"You'll never believe what I saw..." Lindsay replied.
Cut scene. Use it once, it's great. But overusing that just gets me tired and wanting to murder someone. Really, as in drinking, using writing elements must be done with MODERATION.

Another thing is, as mentioned above, the use of sex or controversy to sell. I mean, the story sucks, it's poorly written, but you just throw in some controversy and voila!!

On that same category fall the authors who, having become internationally famous with millionary sales, stop producing quality work and just write to sell. That applies to musicians to. A good example is JK Rowling with the last Harry Potter book; it's obvious she only wrote it because people were going to buy it, it sucked until the last fifty or so pages.

That's all... I think. Grrr I get mad just thinking about it, lol.

goatpiper · Dec 8, 2005

-Excessive adverb usage - drives me nuts.

-Using words other than 'said' or 'replied' to qualify dialogue - example: "You couldn't pull that off in a million years," Elijah snorted.

-Sci-fi and fantasy character names that use apostrophes and/or are impossible to pronounce.

-Flowery laundry-list description - example: The embers still glowed beneath the ash of the fire from the night before. The sun crept up from beyond the horizon to shed the first rays of light into the valley, and the morning dew glistened on the leaves. Birds sang in the distance, and the mountains looked down like sentinels onto blah blah blah blah blah.

-Deus ex machina

There's probably plenty more, but that's the main stuff.

blisswriter · Dec 9, 2005

I hate it when I fall in love with the characters, I finish the book, and there is no sequel.

Jamesaritchie · Dec 9, 2005

LightShadow said:
Excessive characterization like Michener

Excessive technical detail like Clancy

Excessive meandering like Herbert

Excessive colorful description like Tolkien

Bouncing around chronologically like Wallace

Changing POV with poor timing like LeGuin

Using sex to sell like Krantz

Trying to be funny in a non-comical way like Heller

Jeeze, you just shot down some incredibly good writers.

Tish Davidson · Dec 9, 2005

Jamesaritchie said:
Jeeze, you just shot down some incredibly good writers.

The point is that if you have a great story, readers will stick with you despite the annoying list above. If you have a mediocre story, they'll use flaws on the list as a reason to stop reading. Regardless of what you think of the writing style, its story that carries the reader along.

Vuligora · Jan 4, 2006

Authors that make their name cover 75% of the book cover in giant shiny read letters and then the title is really tiny at the bottom. Come on! The story, not you, is important. If it is any good, people will remember your name, I mean, I can't even find the title!

blacbird · Jan 4, 2006

Jamesaritchie said:
Jeeze, you just shot down some incredibly good writers.

I sense a bit of irony, James.

caw.

victoriastrauss · Jan 4, 2006

Vuligora said:
Authors that make their name cover 75% of the book cover in giant shiny read letters and then the title is really tiny at the bottom. Come on! The story, not you, is important. If it is any good, people will remember your name, I mean, I can't even find the title!

People who blame authors for things that publishers do.

- Victoria

PattiTheWicked · Jan 4, 2006

blisswriter said:
I hate it when I fall in love with the characters, I finish the book, and there is no sequel.

Oh, no doubt. I was so happy when Diana Gabaldon turned Outlander into an entire series. I need more Claire and Jamie. Of course, she takes three years to write each book, so the waiting kills me, but it's worth it in the end.

One character I always adored was Sydney Carton of A Tale of Two Cities. Shame he was beheaded, would have made an interesting story all by himself.

Jenny · Jan 4, 2006

Present tense.

This is a real hatred, so I'll leave the two words just sitting there.

Berry · Jan 4, 2006

Vuligora said:
Authors that make their name cover 75% of the book cover in giant shiny read letters and then the title is really tiny at the bottom.

You know, authors have very very little control over what goes on the cover. In your example, the most likely thing that happened is the marketing department decided that this person's name appealed to buyers and therefore it should be prominent.

I admit there are a few writers whose books I will just buy without doing more than making sure I don't already have this one.

But what really ticked me off was one shared world novel series a few years ago where the name of the series and the famous creator was prominent on the cover, but the poor guy who had actually written this particular book wasn't on the cover, OR the title page; he was relegated to the half-title.

ANNIE · Jan 4, 2006

When well known writers rest on their names and previous works and publish a really crappy book.- Patterson.

DamaNegra · Jan 4, 2006

I hate books that make homenage to the saying: "the world is a tissue" I mean, medieval-style in the sense that everyone is related to everyone somehow. Everyone knows each other.

Another thing I hate, and I'm sorry for picking on the author, was "La Hermandad de la Sábana Santa", by Julia Navarro. The story was exciting, it immediately drew me in and had me excited all along. I enjoyed reading it immensely, one of the best books I read. And then, it ended. The worst possible ending. The author had (in my opinion) run out of ideas and thus killed most of the characters in a stupid (IMO) and unbelievable way. I lost all respect for the book and haven't read it ever since.

I hate when excellent books have horrible endings.

September skies · Jan 4, 2006

ANNIE said:
When well known writers rest on their names and previous works and publish a really crappy book.- Patterson.

Makes you wonder if they may have been ghost-written. I love reading Danielle Steel and have ALL her books - but when "The Clone and I" came out, I thought it was awful and so un-Danielle. I wanted to stop reading but kept on reading, just in case it got better. I finally came to the conclusion that she couldn't have written it. (not to say that ghost writers can't be good ones, but that particular one sure didn't fit the standards)

blackbird · Jan 4, 2006

Books that begin with a complete head-to-toe physical description of the main character before we even begin to get a hint of scene or what is actually driving the character.

I also don't like books that begin with excessive descriptions of settings, landscapes, etc. Basically, too much description of ANY kind at the begining of the book marks it for me as either the work of an amateur, or a writer who hasn't read anything written past 1940.

September skies · Jan 4, 2006

LightShadow said:
Da Vinci Code just pissed me off. I thought it was crap.

Not for me! I loved it! And I couldn't put it down - read it in three days. I read a lot and I have to say that it is one of my all-time favorite books and definitely up there in my top ten books I've ever read. I'm looking forward to the movie but know it will be disappointing compared to the book. (then again, I love Tom Hanks and I feel he'll give it justice.)

Mistook · Jan 4, 2006

Books that the author wrote and the publisher published just to get another book out there.

"Me too" books written by fans of whatever catagory, in order to show you just how well they know that category.

Books about people who live in New York.

Books about writers trying to write books.

Fantasy novels that take place in the fantasy equivalent of New York... i.e. a place we've all heard about a million times before, and know like the back of our freeking hands even if we've never been there.

Bloated tomes by bestselling authors who are so busy writing, they forgot how to be good.

stories with a gaping lack of any relevance to real world controversy.

Any time a hero makes use of pure luck to get out of a tough spot. I don't mind if he/she prevails against overwhelming odds, but show me how they used their brains and their skills to do so, and make it vaguely believable.

Purposely building up a loveable character so that his/her death will bite the reader's *** and thereby prove the author has the "guts" to kill a main character.

Lack of genuine levity or humor. In other words, a story that takes itself too seriously, written by an author who does the same.

Gender stereotypes.

Stylistic writing, pretending to be hip and modern, and delving into unusual subjects, but having absolutely nothing to say about anything.

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