IM's in a script

Rainy Night · Nov 8, 2005

I'm writing a scene where two characters I.M. each other over the internet.

Is there proper formating for this?

nganok · Nov 8, 2005

Sure

Rainy Night said:
I'm writing a scene where two characters I.M. each other over the internet.

Is there proper formating for this?

Do it as an insert like

ON THE MONITOR

Jack's words appear:

"Hey I wish the Detroit Lions would fire Mooch."

BACK TO JACK

who reads Tim's response

ON THE MONITOR

Tim's response appears:

"It's not Mooche's fault, its those lazy recievers."

Randomness · Nov 8, 2005

How about if you use the monitor as a persons dialogue like -

INT.TIM'S STUDY - NIGHT

MONITOR

Hey I wish the Detroit Lions would fire Mooch.

INT.INTERNET CAFE - NIGHT

MONITOR

It's not Mooche's fault, its those lazy recievers.

dpaterso · Nov 9, 2005

I'd maybe set up an intercut as with phone conversations, and make each computer monitor different so that when we see it we'll know right away whose it it, e.g.

INT. BOB'S BEDROOM - NIGHT

BOB, a nerdy 17-year-old, types frantically at his computer. His display is a 21" stealth black LCD.

BOB'S DISPLAY - "Welcome to the Sizzling Hot Dates chatroom, please sign in."

Bob types--

BOB'S DISPLAY - "sweetbuns is logged in."

INT. SHIRLEY'S BEDROOM - NIGHT

SHIRLEY, 85, sits in a grubby dressing gown, wreathed in cigarette smoke. She reads her display and grins toothlessly. Her ancient display has plastic flowers and furry creatures stuck along the top. The screen is greasy, some of the characters are blurred. She types--

INTERCUT

BOB'S DISPLAY - "hotchick99: do you really have sweet buns?"

Bob grins. He types--

BOB'S DISPLAY - "you bet. r u really a hot chick?"

SHIRLEY'S DISPLAY - "sweetbuns: you bet. r u really a hot chick?"

Shirley claps her hand in delight. She types--

BOB'S DISPLAY - "hotchick99: honey I am so hot you would melt if I licked you"

Bob grins and types--

Shirley reads her display and grins. She types--

BOB'S DISPLAY - "hotchick99: let's go private and talk dirty"

Bob's eyes widen with interest.

etc.

-Derek
My wittle web page - hack stories, failed novels, dud screenplays, terminal writer's block.
Another one of them new worlds. No beer, no women, no pool parlors, nothin'. Nothin' to do but throw rocks at tin cans, and we gotta bring our own tin cans.

Optimus · Nov 9, 2005

Admit it, Derek. You copied and pasted from a cyber session you had tonight, didn't you?

dpaterso · Nov 9, 2005

Yeah OK, I admit it. But was I sweetbuns or hotchick99? That's the scary question.

-Derek
My wittle web page - hack stories, failed novels, dud screenplays, terminal writer's block.
My evil self is at the door, and I have no power to stop it.

Rainy Night · Nov 9, 2005

dpaterso said:
Yeah OK, I admit it. But was I sweetbuns or hotchick99? That's the scary question.

That's a question I'd rather not have answered.

I found a example of an IM conversation in The Screenwriter’s Bible. They had it formatted much like nganok shows, using mini-slug (my other question) and quotation marks.

Thanks for the help

Scott

dpaterso · Nov 9, 2005

Glad you've got an answer.

Tho' you'll appreciate that the Screenwriter's Bible is just another guy's opinion/suggestion, despite the book's name.

-Derek
My wittle web page - hack stories, failed novels, dud screenplays, terminal writer's block.
My evil self is at the door, and I have no power to stop it.

Rainy Night · Nov 9, 2005

How about this

Here's what I've done -

HTML:

			INT. COOPER HOUSE - NIGHT
 
			The interior of the house is empty except for a sofa and some
			packed moving boxes. At the end of the sofa lies a crumpled
			blanket and a pillow.	
 
			Light from an upstairs bedroom illuminates the stairway.
 
			BEDROOM
 
			KATE COOPER, mid 30’s, athletic and attractive, sits on a
			queen size bed with a laptop computer in front of her. 
 
			ON THE COMPUTER
 
			a chime sounds and an I.M. window opens. The message reads:
 
			“Vi: Hi! Ready for moving day?”
 
			KATE 
 
			talks while typing.
 
								KATE
					 I am, husband is MIA.
 
			ON THE MONITOR
 
			a response appears:
 
			“Vi: Everything OK?”
 
			KATE
 
			reacts visibly to the reply
 
								KATE (CONT’D)
					 No.
 
			ON THE COMPUTER
 
			Kate types “Zach’s late” in the window. 
 
			A brief moment passes and below her message the response
			appears:
 
			“Vi: Where is he?”
 
			KATE
 
			types “???” and hits the enter button.
 
								KATE (CONT’D)
					 I dunno.
 
			ON THE COMPUTER
 
			the reply appears:
 
			“Vi: Do you think he’s okay?”
 
			Kate types back: 
 
			“That’s what I’m afraid of.”
 
			a brief moment, the computer chimes and the reply appears:
 
			“Vi: Sorry?”
 
			KATE
 
			talking as she types.
 
								KATE
					 There’s something I need to tell you.
 
			From downstairs there is the sound of keys in a door lock.
 
			ON THE COMPUTER
 
			Kate quickly backspaces to erase what she just wrote, and
			rewrites a new message:
 
			“He’s home, gotta go.”
 
			KATE 
 
			hits enter, sends the message and closes the laptop. She
			gets up from the bed, pulls on a bathrobe and ties it tight
			around her waist.

Comments?

(the formatting in the html didn't come out exactly right, but you should get the general idea)

Optimus · Nov 9, 2005

The use of "KATE" as a minislug isn't good.

More practice is needed, my son.

dpaterso · Nov 10, 2005

Rainy, I'm OK with that, I could see everything clearly enough. Possibly the unnecessary KATE minislugs could just become "Kate talks while typing" etc. so they're less intrusive.

Only thing is, forgive me, it's not a very interesting IM conversation. What I mean is, they could be talking on the phone just as easily -- and seeing/hearing Vi "live" in an intercut or split screen would interest me more than reading words on a computer screen. And boy do I hate when characters speak aloud when they're typing, that's so unnatural. Does the IM'ing become integral to the story later? Tied up and gagged by kidnappers, Kate worms her way across the floor and uses her nose to type an SOS?

Just asking, is Kate sitting naked on the bed? She puts on her bathrobe, which had me wondering if she just came out the shower or something. I vote for naked.

-Derek
My wittle web page - hack stories, failed novels, dud screenplays, terminal writer's block.
My evil self is at the door, and I have no power to stop it.

Rainy Night · Nov 10, 2005

I agree, reading this over I think that it may be better to have it read:

ON THE BED

Kate sits typing

Something like that. The computer is key to the story as it is how the two old friends reconnected after many years.

And no, she's not naked, she's wearing sexy lingerie. Use your imagination...

September skies · Nov 10, 2005

dpaterso said:
Only thing is, forgive me, it's not a very interesting IM conversation. What I mean is, they could be talking on the phone just as easily -- and seeing/hearing Vi "live" in an intercut or split screen would interest me more than reading words on a computer screen. And boy do I hate when characters speak aloud when they're typing, that's so unnatural. Does the IM'ing become integral to the story later? Tied up and gagged by kidnappers, Kate worms her way across the floor and uses her nose to type an SOS?

On the phone may not work. It takes the element of surprise out. Let's say they have never met. Speaking on phone might give away things like age, sex of person (they could say they are a man or woman and not be)
On You've Got Mail - I love the scenes where Meg Ryan and Tom Hanks are IM'ing online. It worked fine in those scenes. Sometimes they'd speak out loud but many times they focus on the screen. In Under the Tuscan Sun the old grandmother is crying because she fell in love with someone on line and she had been posing as a 17-year-old. (they didn't show the chatting online but had they spoke on phone, the other person would have known she was a very old lady.)

dpaterso · Nov 10, 2005

Point taken, if there's a desire to hide character identity then OK, can't argue with that. But analyze what you're saying further: it's been done before. We've seen You've Got Mail. We've seen Under The Tuscan Sun. So any IM or email exchange better be darned interesting to warrant being included in a script, is what I'm suggesting. Because it's duller than visual or vocal human interaction.

Shrug, I could be wrong. It has been known.

Rainy, include the sexy lingerie in her description, please. jpeg is optional.

-Derek
My wittle web page - hack stories, failed novels, dud screenplays, terminal writer's block.
The fool, the meddling idiot. As though his ape's brain could contain the secrets of the Krell.

Witness · Nov 11, 2005

If you would like, you can use the format used in You've Got Mail:

http://www.imsdb.com/scripts/You've-Got-Mail.html

Rainy Night · Nov 12, 2005

Thanks - I see that in parts where the computer says "You've got mail" They have written the computer as a character.

KelseyF · Nov 13, 2005

I don't like the thought of using the computer as a character, to me that seems like it would cause the reader to think about that, hence bringing him/her out of the flow of the story.

Of those who responded, I think nganok's suggestion would be the easiest to read. I've always written words on a computer as an insert.

Annabanana · Nov 13, 2005

If you can find the script for "Closer," there's a lengthy IM exchange in there.

IM's in a script

Rainy Night

INFJ

nganok

Life is Just a Dream

Randomness

dpaterso

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Optimus

dpaterso

Also in our Discord and IRC chat channels

Rainy Night

INFJ

dpaterso

Also in our Discord and IRC chat channels

Rainy Night

INFJ

Optimus

dpaterso

Also in our Discord and IRC chat channels

Rainy Night

INFJ

September skies

cloud watching

dpaterso

Also in our Discord and IRC chat channels

Witness

Rainy Night

INFJ

KelseyF

Annabanana