I recently wrote a scene where two kids are in a pine forest and all of a sudden they walk up on a part of the forest that is old and filled with Oak trees. Is this a good place for a REVEAL or a mini slug. If so - HOW? example maybe?
A reveal-technical question
- Thread starter nganok
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Just a suggestion, why not plain English?
EXT. FOREST - DAY
Pete and Winnie skip hand-in-hand along a winding path between pine trees.
They stop, and stare in amazement.
The forest is filled with ancient oak trees. The path lies hidden beneath a carpet of brown leaves.
They look back the way they came. More oak trees.
WINNIE
What happened to our forest?
PETE
Dunno.
-Derek
My wittle web page - hack stories, failed novels, dud screenplays, terminal writer's block.
The fool, the meddling idiot. As though his ape's brain could contain the secrets of the Krell.
EXT. FOREST - DAY
Pete and Winnie skip hand-in-hand along a winding path between pine trees.
They stop, and stare in amazement.
The forest is filled with ancient oak trees. The path lies hidden beneath a carpet of brown leaves.
They look back the way they came. More oak trees.
WINNIE
What happened to our forest?
PETE
Dunno.
-Derek
My wittle web page - hack stories, failed novels, dud screenplays, terminal writer's block.
The fool, the meddling idiot. As though his ape's brain could contain the secrets of the Krell.
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My suggestion would be
to add more to it. Up the interest level by having something else occur along with the change.
A tumble down a slope, a crawl through a log or small cave.
Honestly, just a few steps from one kind of forest into another one is pretty boring.
If you can make this event have some symbolism that relates to your theme then this will increase the impact of your story.
to add more to it. Up the interest level by having something else occur along with the change.
A tumble down a slope, a crawl through a log or small cave.
Honestly, just a few steps from one kind of forest into another one is pretty boring.
If you can make this event have some symbolism that relates to your theme then this will increase the impact of your story.
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