I've been working on the first chapter of my book for way too long all ready. Its hindering my progression because I keep going back to it, obsessing over it. I've written multiple scenes, and so far, I got two that feels 'right'. But then I changed it again with something that feels just as 'right', and personally, the second one sounds more interesting to me. But the first one keeps calling me, wanting to be put back on its place. So, I've had enough, I want to move on to finishing the book and edit later, and to settle my first chapter obsession, I came here to seek everyone's wisdom.
In short, which scene do you think is better? Again, this is the first chapter, I'm trying to hook you in.
a) Old man attempts suicide when a creature barges into his shop. After a brief exchange of words, old man wakes up from his dream. He receives a visit from an old friend, asking him to take care of his granddaughter.
b) Old man attempts suicide, creature barges in, but this time, it isn't a dream. The thing is real and soon retreats when a girl comes in. The shop is already destroyed. And as the old man settles down, I wrote something around, "It started over a week ago, when he received the most unwelcome guest." The next half of the chapter is basically letter A above, but with reduced dialog (as half of it are about sarcasms and insults).
The conflict I'm having here is I want a slow start like in the first one (except for the creature part). I don't want to show or hint the fate of the old man and the girl so early in story. Plus, the shop plays a big role, at least emotionally for the old man.
But then again, the second one where the shop is already in ruins, the girl already living with the old man, and other messed up things I haven't revealed, sounds a lot more interesting for a hook. But I'm not too sure with the flashback thing, even though in this version it only lasts for a chapter and a half.
Again, I want to start slow, build up the tension as the story moves on. But I'm not too sure if this is the path I need.
Any suggestions then? Anyone?
In short, which scene do you think is better? Again, this is the first chapter, I'm trying to hook you in.
a) Old man attempts suicide when a creature barges into his shop. After a brief exchange of words, old man wakes up from his dream. He receives a visit from an old friend, asking him to take care of his granddaughter.
b) Old man attempts suicide, creature barges in, but this time, it isn't a dream. The thing is real and soon retreats when a girl comes in. The shop is already destroyed. And as the old man settles down, I wrote something around, "It started over a week ago, when he received the most unwelcome guest." The next half of the chapter is basically letter A above, but with reduced dialog (as half of it are about sarcasms and insults).
The conflict I'm having here is I want a slow start like in the first one (except for the creature part). I don't want to show or hint the fate of the old man and the girl so early in story. Plus, the shop plays a big role, at least emotionally for the old man.
But then again, the second one where the shop is already in ruins, the girl already living with the old man, and other messed up things I haven't revealed, sounds a lot more interesting for a hook. But I'm not too sure with the flashback thing, even though in this version it only lasts for a chapter and a half.
Again, I want to start slow, build up the tension as the story moves on. But I'm not too sure if this is the path I need.
Any suggestions then? Anyone?
