Changing point of view for just a few paragraphs

I think it's a mistake to switch POVs like this in random places unless you plan on doing it often and consistently throughout the book. As a reader, I would put down a book that went into the second person POV like that, especially if it's not for any other reason than the writer was looking for a way to convey immediacy. There are better ways to do that, while remaining in the first person POV (since that's the POV you started with).

I know my editor would have a coronary at a switch like that.

mesh138 said:

I've written a novel in first-person, but the story involves a few parts where I describe the typical things that happen at my workplace. In these sections, I use the word 'you' instead of 'I.' For example, let's pretend it is McDonalds: You walk in. Immediately the smell of McNuggets hits you. You gag while stepping over the clump of sewage that has been compounding for months near the bathroom entrance...

My question is... Does anyone know a more specific name for this technique, or any advice on using it/not using it? Any examples of a novel where it might appear?

Thanks.

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First, I think switching POV for a few paragraphs in a first person novel is a terrible idea. Talk about a real jolt to the reader!

But what you're talking about isn't necessarily a POV change. First person writing is really all dialogue, even the narrative, and a first person protagonist can say "You" as easily as "I." He can sometimes, or always, "speak" in second person, present tense, as in:

You know what McDonald's is like, and if you don't, I certainly do. I worked at one for three years. You open the door and the smell of McNuggets hits you before you're even inside. You head for the restroom, but you gag over the clump of sewage that has been compounding for months near the entrance, and you decide your bladder can wait. Wait, hell, you'll let it explode before you go in there.

This is still in first person POV, only now the protagonist is addressing the reader directly, instead of just telling the reader the story in past tense.

My question would be why you want to do this? There's no reason at all that you can't describe anything, workplace or not, from the straight first person, past tense, POV. You can even do so without ever using the word "I."

As Jamesaritchie pointed out, I too think that this is not a POV switch. You are still in the first person narration. I think it should be ok. As a reader, I wouldn't mind it.

I would say, rather, that if this technique is done well, it does not appear to be a P.O.V. shift, but done clumsily, it can appear to be one, and will be offputting to readers. As James put it it's OK, but without the clear "first-person-addressing-the-reader" tags it would be jarring to me.

As a reader, I hate being addressed by the author. It throws me right out of the story because it's like the narrator knows I'm there (yet, he doesn't really know me, either, so he can't know how walking into a McDonald's is for me. What if my sense of smell is different than his?). I like the experience of eavesdropping or spying on someone's life. I can't help wondering how the story experience would change if the narrator let it all hang out, not knowing someone was watching. I guess it's part of why I prefer third person narrated stories.

azbikergirl said:

As a reader, I hate being addressed by the author. It throws me right out of the story because it's like the narrator knows I'm there (yet, he doesn't really know me, either, so he can't know how walking into a McDonald's is for me. What if my sense of smell is different than his?). I like the experience of eavesdropping or spying on someone's life. I can't help wondering how the story experience would change if the narrator let it all hang out, not knowing someone was watching. I guess it's part of why I prefer third person narrated stories.

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You would hate second person, then. It all sounds like the writer is addressing you directly, even when he's actually talking to the main character.

But in a real sense, both first person and third person limited is a case where the write is telling you a story directly. It just depends on whether the story he tells is about himself, or about someone else.

I think it also depends on how you view fiction. You want to eavesdrop on someone's life, but many who read fiction want to become the lead character for the duration of the story.