- Joined
- May 20, 2005
- Messages
- 6,341
- Reaction score
- 2,261
- Location
- Somewhere in the recesses of my mind
- Website
- www.jeanmariewiesen.com
My inbox had this in it, today from Miranda's pet acquisition rock department. Also included, for your evening pleasure, is my serious response.
Dear author:
Have you considered writing your autobiography? You are an established author. We want to publish the story about your life.
We are offering you a contract for your memoirs.
You may already have included personal material in your previous book. That's normal and natural, many authors do this. What it says, among many other things, is that you have a colorful personal history to draw from. It's a history you'll want to preserve for future generations. Books carry that legacy far into the future.
We understand that the book is not yet written. Once we have the contract taken care of, you have up to 180 days to write it; that's six months.
Contact me at [email protected], mention this code: Memoirs, and I will see to it that one of our Acquisitions Editors will contact you right away to get this going.
We are looking forward to publishing your autobiography!
PublishAmerica Acquisitions Department.
--Bryan Winfrey
Dear Jack,
Next time you contact me, I'm going to report you for harassment. I'd say that my dog would bite you, but I don't want him to suffer the consequences of a rabies booster shot.
Oh, and I'm in the process of getting an agent, therefore, I'm in no need of a piece of crap outfit such as yours. Why don't you do something useful; help w/ cleaning up the oil spill in the Gulf instead of sweeping up after Miranda's mess. Or, are you her, "Boy Friday?"
Signed,
A Real Writer, who won't fall for your tricks ever again!
Dear author:
Have you considered writing your autobiography? You are an established author. We want to publish the story about your life.
We are offering you a contract for your memoirs.
You may already have included personal material in your previous book. That's normal and natural, many authors do this. What it says, among many other things, is that you have a colorful personal history to draw from. It's a history you'll want to preserve for future generations. Books carry that legacy far into the future.
We understand that the book is not yet written. Once we have the contract taken care of, you have up to 180 days to write it; that's six months.
Contact me at [email protected], mention this code: Memoirs, and I will see to it that one of our Acquisitions Editors will contact you right away to get this going.
We are looking forward to publishing your autobiography!
PublishAmerica Acquisitions Department.
--Bryan Winfrey
Dear Jack,
Next time you contact me, I'm going to report you for harassment. I'd say that my dog would bite you, but I don't want him to suffer the consequences of a rabies booster shot.
Oh, and I'm in the process of getting an agent, therefore, I'm in no need of a piece of crap outfit such as yours. Why don't you do something useful; help w/ cleaning up the oil spill in the Gulf instead of sweeping up after Miranda's mess. Or, are you her, "Boy Friday?"
Signed,
A Real Writer, who won't fall for your tricks ever again!
Last edited:
be heavily published by a real publisher not a slog house.
