You're so vain...

Depends on whether it's true or not. Simplest solution, whether true or not, is to not show it to them.

Hee, hee my mother felt murdered when one of my character's mother gets it. I don't suppose there's anything you can do about it.

Not showing them is ridiculous.

If your relatives think they're in your novel, tell them, "You flatter yourself. You're not interesting enough to be in a novel." Say it with a smile, but it's probably true anyway. And who would want to model a character after a living person when it's so much more fun to make them up?

For the future, if you are putting real people in a novel, by all means show it to them in first draft, and have them sign a release to the effect that what you have said about them is true, and you are saying it with their permission. Show it to them again in final form. (You can't libel a person by telling the truth, only lies. Besides, to prevail against you in court, they must show (1) that they have a reputation [income] to protect, and (2) that you have damaged it to the tune of $_______).

And remember this: Facts cannot be copyrighted.

My friends and family wish I would write them into my novels and are tickled pink if I have a name similar to theirs or the same as theirs.

So no, can't say that I have had that problem.

If you didn't put them in and they are mad and still think you did, toss them a copy and say read it yourself, I didn't put anyone I know in it, they are fictional.

Sometimes, if you nail down a particular human behavior pattern, you'll get dozens of people thinking you were writing about them. I regard that as a personal triumph.

In general, people will always see themselves in your writing when they aren't there, and will fail to see themselves when they are.

Stuff you can do:

1. Say no, you didn't; but would they like to be written in next time?

2. Tell them there are all sorts of non-matching facts about that character which didn't appear in the book, but which may get mentioned next time.

3. Say "No, not quite," then launch into a very long, detailed discussion of your book. If you sufficiently overtax their attention span, they may never ask again.

4. Always check to make sure there isn't a real left-handed Seventh Day Adventist endodontist named Altoona G. Clarke before you write one into your book. If you find twelve of them, you're also in the clear.

5. Grin and bear it. You can't control the ways people read your books.

I love your advice, Hap. Excellent, truly excellent.

Be very careful about writing in friends. Although you may be friends now.....in several years, you might not, and it can cause your publisher a lot of hassle and cost if a book has to be temporarily stalled whilst a legal issue is sorted out