Writing conversations

It's actually better to use "said" than other words because it's nearly invisible. Using other words is seen as the mark of a beginner.

Essentially the two things you want to avoid (which might be the opposite of what you were taught in school, actually), are lots of adverbs and verbs other than "said." This is typically viewed as telling the reader instead of showing them what is going on. There are some basic exceptions (and even adverbs can be used if they're used sparingly) for an occasional, "whispered" or "shouted," or something like that, but those shouldn't be used all the time. The idea is that you want the words within the dialogue to be the ones conveying how something is said.

For instance, say you write a line like this:

"How could you do that! What were you thinking?" he shouted angrily.

The dialogue itself shows that she's angry, and even gives an indication that it's being shouted. If it's already obvious because of the dialogue, then it comes off as almost condescending because you're implying the reader wasn't smart enough to catch it. If it wasn't obvious in the dialogue (for instance, "Why'd you do that?" he shouted angrily.), then it's being used as an excuse to tell the reader how the words were said instead of showing them by the words themselves. Considering the writer's number one goal is to show the readers what is happening and allow them to see it in their minds, this is also not a good thing.

So as a general rule, it's best to stick only to said. You can also use occasional actions instead (I do this a lot), bonus points if the action is actually relevant to the story. For instance:

Beth waved the perfumed letter in Bob's face. "What the hell were you thinking? You thought I wouldn't find out?"

Or something like that. Bad examples because they're just off the top of my head. But yeah, this is the basic gist.

The hardest part of dialogue is the dialogue itself and making it sound like real people talk. If you can succeed in that, the rest will come naturally. A good way to do this is to go somewhere public and take a notebook and just listen to what people are saying, maybe write down certain phrases, and then try to imitate that in your writing. Good luck!

http://www.musik-therapie.at/PederHill/Dialogue&Detail.htm

There's a great site about writing dialogue that's much better than my explanation.

What Kaitie said.

You are looking for said-isms, and while I don't hate them quite as energetically as most of the people on this forum, they should be used like strong spices, very, very sparingly. Using "said" over and over is no more distracting than using the word "the" over and over. It is pretty much invisible as a word, and nobody will be bothered by it.

I have that problem with not using said in my work and it hurts me knowing that. I like my 'asks' and 'replied' with the ocassional 'shouted' or 'warned,' but I never exaggerate it. They're all said to me, but it's true what Kaitie's saying.

As for dialogue, as a bonus you can try acting as your character and react to whatever another character says. If you know your character well and have been listening to other people in your life, then it should come off a bit easy.

I suggest finding books at the library or bookstore on the topic. Writing Dialogue by Tom Chiarella and Great Fiction--Dialogue by Gloria Kempton are two great ones. Thanks to both of them, writing dialogue is one of my strong points (so I've been told).

A good rule of thumb for avoiding "said book-isms" is to use said unless there's some aspect of the talk that can't be conveyed by the dialogue alone. I use said the majority of the time, but there are also times when I need murmured, or whispered, or said quietly. The best reason not to expend a lot of effort trying to create variety in this area is that variety tends to draw attention. And typically you want readers paying attention to what your characters are saying, rather than to the words you use to express the fact that they're speaking (or the manner of their speech).

As far as the content of dialogue, I recommend taking a notebook to a public place and writing down how people say what they say. If you're working with people you know, you can even ask permission and record people's speech at a party etc. and then transcribe it later. Transcription is quite a slog, but you will learn a lot about how people actually speak. I did it for academic research purposes originally, but it has really helped me tune the dialogue in my stories.

What Katie said. Avoid other words than said, unless there is no other way to convey that the character shouted, whispered, whimpered and so on. In fact, try to avoid 'said' altogether, even though the word is nearly invisible.

For instance, the only time I use 'said' in my writing are:

a) When there are more than two people talking, and clarity requires the 'said'
b) When it is unlear who is talking otherwize.

Example from my writing, and it is a first-draft-word-vomit, but it hopefully shows you what I mean, and what Katie said:

Mary hurried past, and he called her.

“Mary!”

“What? I’m busy.”

“How do I do this?”

She looked at him. “I don't have time to show you.”

“Terry ran off! I don't know how to use this! And what about the kids’ bar?”

She waved dismissively over her shoulder and hurried off. He looked down at the LPs with the odd names. He took one out and looked at the label, but he could barely decipher the hand-written label. He put the LP on the free player, and then studied the controls carefully to try and figure out how you switched songs.

He was still trying to figure things out when the song stopped, and the hall fell into silence. The crowd turned in his direction, and stared at him. After a minute George came running.

“What are ya doing here? Where’s Terry?”

Jim told him.

“For fuck's sake.”

“How do you use this?”

George shook his head, waved him away. “Go to the bar. I’ll take over. As if I didn't have enough to do...”

“He saw his dad and just ran off--”

"I’ll have a word with him later.”

The music deteriorated from there. George wasn't a DJ, and he picked the wrong music. The first to start to leave were the kids, when the mix stopped being interesting to them. The crowds were thinning fast.

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I hate said I use dialogue very script-like.

You shouldn't hate 'said'.

That's like throwing a tool out of your toolbox because you haven't learned how to use it.

And by all means listen to what folk say when they speak in order to see how dialogue flows back and forth but for goodness sake don't try and copy exactly what folk say. Stick to the point and cut out all those ums and ahs and other useless conversational mumblings.

AryaT92 said:

I hate said I use dialogue very script-like.

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I dunno...I personally hate "said" as well. Now, I'll still use it and have even learned to use it in first drafts (used to have to edit them in), but it doesn't mean I particularly like to use it. I just know it's necessary. I think it's only a problem if you refuse to do it because you dislike it instead of recognizing when it's needed. Another example for me would be, "...she thought." I don't like "thought." No idea why, just don't, but obviously there are times when it's called for and I say it.

"I'm not a said hater," said Southpaw.

"Do you use it all the time?" asked some unknown person.

"No, because I do noticed it when I'm reading. It is not invisible. I don't think it should be overused but not replaced with any other word. I agree with Juliette. I also think dialog Maxinquaye."

"Interesting."

The use of physical beats also helps keep down the number of times you have to use a tag line (e.g. said). Just don't use them for every line of dialogue. Southpaw's example is great when only two individuals are talking.

Read you work aloud. You will see where you can eliminate the dialog tags. Then have a new beta reader, read it for the first time. Does he always know who's talking? If so, you've mastered it.

Bufty said:

You shouldn't hate 'said'.

That's like throwing a tool out of your toolbox because you haven't learned how to use it.

And by all means listen to what folk say when they speak in order to see how dialogue flows back and forth but for goodness sake don't try and copy exactly what folk say. Stick to the point and cut out all those ums and ahs and other useless conversational mumblings.

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I find my use of dialogue much more effective and my beta's always comment on how readable it is.

AryaT92 said:

I find my use of dialogue much more effective and my beta's always comment on how readable it is.

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That may be so, but nothing can change the fact that, in modern fiction, using almost anything other than said looks amateurish to a professional editor. The trend may change, but right now, that's the way it is.

AryaT92 said:

I find my use of dialogue much more effective and my beta's always comment on how readable it is.

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Also, you haven't actually sold a book and been edited yet, so you don't really know what's going to happen when your work is being readied for publication.

Aspiring Writer said:

Thanks for the replies.

I do us said quite a bit, its just that I often find myself searching for other words to use and sometimes none spring to mind. I find it frustrating and just put said down after I give in.

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Sometimes I use asked, demanded, replied, retorted...I like murmured. i use that a lot