What ANNOYS you most in...

xcomplex · Nov 25, 2009

Alright, so let's open a discussion about this. No pointing out specific works here. My question is what annoys you most in novels?
Mine would be:

A new language that we have to look at the back of the book for to understand.
A damsel in distress. Just because it's a girl doesn't mean she has to weep all the time to be rescued, I mean come on would that ever happen in real life?
Amazing characters which can never die or get never wounded.
When a child rescues the world... and yes I have read an adult book about that :O lol
When the novel is about someone struggling with their own stupidity.
When say 'Juliette' can't love her guy just because her folks don't let her. I mean really if you love someone you would tilt the world for them.
When the book is really shallow...
When the criminals and crimes are alays caught. I mean if I was setting up a heist or a murdur I don't want to be found out. It would be planned out like crazy!

That's what I've got right now. What about you?

Matera the Mad · Nov 25, 2009

All of the above and lazy writing habits on top of it all.

Exir · Nov 25, 2009

Actually, I'd argue that all of the above are not bad in themselves -- they can be done well.

Except the damsel in distress, of course. That IS inexcusable. :tongue

Southpaw · Nov 25, 2009

Fragments--they are all the rage.

Brutal Mustang · Nov 25, 2009

Oh, sometimes a good damsel in distress makes for good laughs ... if she is written well. Heck, I've known great real-life people who where total damsels in distress in certain situations.

TrickyFiction · Nov 25, 2009

Just to be contrary, I'm getting kind of tired of the hyper-strong female protagonist--I mean the sort where she's unreasonably strong-willed and "spunky" just because she's a girl, and no female is allowed to be weak in fiction anymore. Seriously. Sometimes we're weak.

thethinker42 · Nov 25, 2009

I have many...filtering, crappy sex scenes, DEM, things like that...but one in particular that's been bugging me lately: The "arrogant alpha male" in romances. Does EVERY hero have to be a pompous jackass that eventually grovels on his knees for the heroine to forgive him? Is it so wrong to have a likable hero? There are plenty of other things that can drive a couple apart besides "I'm an arrogant twatbag who is entitled to whatever and whomever I want and you're TSTL for loving me".

Okay, so it's not in every romance novel, but it annoys me to the point that I've been known to stop reading a book when I realize the hero falls into that category.

Oh...and in M/M fiction...the over-feminized gay men. Not that gay men are never feminine (hell, straight men can be too), just that it seems like a disproportionately high number of gay characters are stereotypically feminine.

To summarize, my pet peeves are straight men who are dicks and gay men who are chicks with dicks.

Libbie · Nov 25, 2009

Orphaned farmboy goes on quest to save the world because he is the chosen one.

Seen it.

thethinker42 · Nov 25, 2009

Libbie said:
Orphaned farmboy goes on quest to save the world because he is the chosen one.

Seen it.

Dammit...

*trunks outlines for next three novels*

*moves on to screenplay about a giant corporation that develops a virus that gets loose and turns people into zombies*

Exir · Nov 25, 2009

Worse than overdone spunky females are females who are supposed to kick-ass -- except we never see them kicking anybody's butt.

ishtar'sgate · Nov 25, 2009

thethinker42 said:
I The "arrogant alpha male" in romances. Does EVERY hero have to be a pompous jackass that eventually grovels on his knees for the heroine to forgive him? Is it so wrong to have a likable hero?

While we're on the subject of romance novels, I'm real tired of novels that begin with the heroine hating the hero. Sometimes she has a reason for thinking he's a jerk and sometimes she has no reason whatsoever. You KNOW she's going to end up with him. Every time I see that scenario I stop reading. I know I'm going to be bored out of my tree.

thethinker42 · Nov 25, 2009

ishtar'sgate said:
While we're on the subject of romance novels, I'm real tired of novels that begin with the heroine hating the hero. Sometimes she has a reason for thinking he's a jerk and sometimes she has no reason whatsoever. You KNOW she's going to end up with him. Every time I see that scenario I stop reading. I know I'm going to be bored out of my tree.

YES. THANK YOU.

It's one thing if they don't click right away, but absolutely hating each other? Yes, it happens, but it just happens so. Damned. Often in fiction.

My characters invariably click right away, but as the malevolent god of their universe, I find a way to tear them apart. I like it better that way...two people who want to be together, but can't...not two people who hate each other, then think, "hey, you're pretty hawt..."

Of course that CAN and does work sometimes...but it's so so SO overdone.

EclipsesMuse · Nov 25, 2009

How about a series of books that continue with no apparent end. I'm tired of hearing who's backstabbing what. Can we get a resolution please, or at least get to a possible climax?

Matera the Mad · Nov 25, 2009

Oh, I forgot -- first person present.

BARF!

Caitlin Black · Nov 26, 2009

Matera the Mad said:
Oh, I forgot -- first person present.

BARF!

I second that barf.

And why is every guy either a brawny jock or a picked-on nerd? That's so 1997.

Another pet peeve of mine is a character in my own book who is completely different from me in how he goes after women. Now I don't want him to get the girl, even if it means a DEM the woman falling for someone else. Damn.

Steam&Ink · Nov 26, 2009

I get annoyed by middle-aged male protags who invariably end up boinking a much younger, much hotter girl. (I'm fighting the urge to give an example, but I know I'm not allowed...)

And synthetic dialogue. (Read your dialogue aloud, people! If it doesn't sound like something you'd say, ask yourself why your MC talks like that!!)

Misa Buckley · Nov 26, 2009

Novels that read like bad fanfiction...

On a more serious note: lack of characterisation annoys the hell out of me. Give me a reason to care, dammit! There are other things that bug me, but if the characters in a book aren't well drawn, then said book doesn't get read. End of.

Albannach · Nov 26, 2009

I don't mind a woman in distress needing rescuing. If it's a logical part of the plot and not just tie her up on the railroad tracks because otherwise there's no plot, then it's fine. Would it happen in real life that a woman needs rescuing? Sure it would.

I hate present tense novels. HATE them. They are SO pretentious and scream, "look at me being literary".

I LOATHE characters who can't get hurt. Or the author says they got hurt when they were beaten up for half an hour, but a minute later they're fine.

I don't mind the heroine hating the hero. I mean, we know they're going to get together in ANY romance. What I hate is when she has no reason to hate him and hates him anyway and that's the only reason they're not getting together. That's stupid.

DannySherbet · Nov 26, 2009

xcomplex said:
Alright, so let's open a discussion about this. No pointing out specific works here. My question is what annoys you most in novels?

I don't like it when authors try too hard to impress you with their intelligence and writing skill. The writing becomes all flowery, and, while impressive to an extent, it detracts from the story.

I won't name names ... oh, go on then, just the one - Martin Amis.

When I read a novel I like to enjoy the story. The writer should merely be lurking in the background.

Freelancer · Nov 26, 2009

- Every fantasy which is based on Lord of the Rings
- Cliches in general
- Overused cliches where the author tries to explain their "rightful" existence in the novel
- Completely useless actions, battle scenes which are not serving any purpose at all, but they're there, because without them the plot would be boring
- Shallow, unoriginal story lines, be it fantasy or sci-fi
- Shallow, unoriginal characters (Elves, dwarves, good knight)
- Evil whose major goal is to destroy the world to rule on a pile of ashes later (Geez. That's the plan...)
- Very last moment resolutions (BOOOOOOOOOOORING!!!)
- Huge explosions (Even if something doesn't contain any flammable, but it would look good in the storyline.).
- Predictable plot
- Speaking dragons
- Friendly speaking dragons

DannySherbet · Nov 26, 2009

What about when the author gives the bad guy one redeeming quality in an attempt to make him a sympathetic, rounded character?

"He mugs old ladies, steals from charity boxes, and spends his nights burning down orphanages ... but he always remembers his mum's birthday."

"She's a gold-digging, manipulative ball-buster who hates the male species because of what her father did to her ... but she never forgets to feed Cuddles, her three-year-old Ragdoll cat."

Maxinquaye · Nov 26, 2009

"It was a dark and stormy night"

bearilou · Nov 26, 2009

Being beaten over the head with an obviously important fact that will be featured later on in the novel.

"Little did he know that in 24 hours this tidbit of fact would save his life."

Charlee · Nov 26, 2009

I was given a book a couple of yeas ago for my birthday I'd never heard of the author but it looked interesting. Started it and really liked it for about 3/4 of the book it is about how a girl adapts to the world after a coma she has to struggle with her realtionships and doesn't really understand this new world.

Then suddenly it was af if the book had been taken over by someonelse. People started turning into zombies and the girl excaped becasuse she had slept through the disease that had caused it all. Very strange U-turn in teh book I wasn't impressed.

Freelancer · Nov 26, 2009

And what I forgot. Annoying and completely useless statements. i.e.

Two cops are watching a beheaded corpse. Dialogue: He is dead. (Oh, really? I never thought for this.).

Before the final climatic battle, good vs. evil. Evil's dialogue: One of us will die. (Oh, my. I also never thought for that.).

Starship battle. Dialogue: One more hit and we turn to dust, Captain! (Then another three or four shots, greater then the previous ones hit the ship without any problem.).

Useless dialogues (This one will be a movie reference): You're not in Kansas anymore, you're in Pandora (Well. You enlisted to the army and traveled light years to another planet to learn that planet is not Kansas and you're not there. What a useful information. Brilliant.).

Event dialogue: We've 2 minutes and 37 seconds before the reactor goes critical and blows! (The MC says this without even reading any terminal. And of course, no terminal ever mistakes in this sort of calculation.).

Event dialogue #2: Hurry! The car is going to explode! (Yeah. Sure. I saw burning cars, but none of them ever exploded.)

Introduction dialogues (Good vs. Evil.): Who are you? (Yeah. The evil is surely going to ask the good guy's name, even address and phone number.).

What ANNOYS you most in...

Fantastic Fantasy!

Bartender, gimme a Linux Mint

Out of the cradle endlessly rocking

The squirrel apocalypse is coming!

Loves interplanetary chaos.

Who?

Abnormal Romance Author

Worst song played on ugliest guitar

Abnormal Romance Author

Out of the cradle endlessly rocking

living in the past

Abnormal Romance Author

Questing

Bartender, gimme a Linux Mint

Wild one

sekrit superhero

Extraordinary Romance

AW Addict

Wellversed in procrastination.

Wellversed in procrastination.

That cheeky buggerer

DenturePunk writer

Sometimes I have no Y