Descriptions and Actions

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Jago

I have screen writing for a while, but one of the things that I have not really gotten a solid understanding on is-- Is there a REAL WAY to deal with descriptions and actions other then in the present tense?

For example..

Jason gets up and runs to the store

or

Jason, a tall male, runs to the store

etc etc..

From what I have read, there are alot of different styles.. Is it up to the writer or is there a certain way I should do this..
 
dpaterso

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It's an odd question you're asking. Screenplays are written in present tense, there is no alternative, it's the industry standard.

If we're meeting JASON, 17, tall and gangly, for the first time then capitalize his name. Since Jason is a man's name you don't need to explain he's male.

There's nothing wrong with "Jason gets up and runs to the store" although, if he's sitting, then we may assume he has to get up in order to run. So you could drop "gets up and" -- it's redundant.

If there's urgency in Jason's running to the store then you should try to show this through his actions -- he jumps a bench, roughly pushes passers-by out his way, runs onto the road causing cars to swerve and brake hard, crashes through the door, etc.

What screenwriting books have you read? Have you been reading screenplays too? I aim for three week, at least. I'm hoping something smart rubs off on me.

-Derek
Derek's Web Page - stories, screenplays, novels, insanity.
 
Joe Calabrese

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I try to write in a time linear way and would write it in sequence of the way we see the events.

JASON, (who) 20 and tall (description), sits in a chair (location or starting position), gets up (1st action) and runs to the store (action conclusion).

as opposed to:

A 20 year old tall male, Jason, runs to the store after he gets up from his chair.
 

Jago

I think you may of misinterpreted my tired message.. As you can see, it was 2am in the morning..

What I am saying, is that is it up to the writer to choose how he wants to describe characters, actions, etc (style) or is there a standard..

So how about I post an excert from my screenplay...

------------------------------

INT. BOARD ROOM, GALAXY SYSTEMS -- AFTERNOON

The wide room is dark in color, expensive woods and painting pleasuring the eye. A large board table takes up most of the space in the room, new age chairs surrounding the table.

BOARD MEMBERS, dressed in black suits, sit in their seats with folders in front of them, all wearing a serious expression on their faces. The news is not good and the company is going through problems.

ELLIS VADEN, a middle-aged man, sits in the front, king-like. He is the owner of the company and has a habit of intimidating those who have bad news.

Standing in front of the entire group is JAKE, a marketing analysis, who is forced to reveal more bad news to the company. A LCD projection screen showing statistics behind him.

JAKE
As you can see.. Our total gross income has decreased by about 100%

He points along chart as he speaks, especially watching Ellis' reaction.

-----------------------------

Would you see anything particular wrong with that in terms of descriptions, actions, etc..
 
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Joe Calabrese

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Several problems.

1st. Unless the decor is very important, don't go into such detail about chairs, tables, art, etc... Give us a general feel and a few details.

2. Show don't tell. How do we know there's bad news and the company is going though a rough time? or forced to give bad news, or habit of intimidating? If you can't see it or hear it, don't write it. Exception is in describing a character. King-like is good, but like this:

ELLIS VADEN, 50's, the king-like owner of the company, sits in the front and taps the table impatiently.

3. cut all ing verbs. Stands is always better than standing.

4. Instead of middle age for describing age, just do ,50's,...
 

Jago

Alright.. Thank you,

That is really the issue I wanted to work out.. Story and Dialogue was not a problem.. But it is the technical aspects that make or break a script, which I have been trying to work out..
 
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