Sharing work online

It's very normal, though, isn't it?

I like to remind myself that it's just a first draft. But SYW doesn't allow that conceit, darnit!

I haven't done SYW either

Show somebody, though. Seriously. Ask for a private crit because you're chicken

It can be intimidating, but it's good for you AND builds character! You can post in SYW and specify that you are a timid noob and you would like a very gentle critique. Feedback from others is pretty essential to improve. Lots of us around here are "not that good"--there's really no shame in it

dahlfan said:

I can't seem to bring myself up to this. I'm deathly afraid of any critisism, especially the online variety. I realize that I'm not that good, and I wouldn't want to embarass myself. I'd much rather keep honing my skills until I'm confident enough to at least show my mom. Also, I can't share my titles because for some reason my titles are just as much darling to me than the manuscripts themselves. That's probably not good.

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I'm much the same. No one sees anything until after I'm finished the entire manuscript and made my first full revision. Then only one person sees it until it's sold.
Anne Spollen - The Shape of Water - said in an article for theWriter back in January,
"I can never be part of any group involving the craft. For me, the gliding of one sentence into the next to create a world rich with texture and character is an act that is nearly sacred and must be performed. And decisions I make (or don't make) regarding revision must stem from that exacting place we each inhabit when we are alone."

I don't think there's any reason to rush. I don't show manuscripts to anyone until I think they're as good as I can make them without criticism. It feels like less of a waste of everyone's time and helps me feel more confident. (If only a little)

ishtar'sgate said:

Anne Spollen - The Shape of Water - said in an article for theWriter back in January,
"I can never be part of any group involving the craft. For me, the gliding of one sentence into the next to create a world rich with texture and character is an act that is nearly sacred and must be performed. And decisions I make (or don't make) regarding revision must stem from that exacting place we each inhabit when we are alone."

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But that's a million times easier to do when one is already a good writer. I'm guessing that before she rejected critique from others, she learned to write good prose, probably in college. Us poor noobs gotta have feedback to help us blossom into proper writers.

You don't have to if you don't want to. Critiques can be harsh, and it can take some time to get used to looking at your own work objectively.

When you're ready, you might try showing it to people you feel comfortable with and getting some feedback. Then slowly show more folks to build up that emotional distance you'll need for the hard stuff later. Having others look at it and offer feedback is a great learning tool, and you'll probably learn a lot more doing that than anything else.

One thing you do need to keep in mind though, is that if your goal is a career in publishing, you will have to eventually put the work out there. Editors are tough and they treat your work like the product is it, which can be rough since it's your baby. It'll be a lot easier on you if you've built up a thick skin and that emotional distance.

But you don't need to do it overnight and you don't have to do it faster than you're comfortable with. Work at your own pace and take the steps when you're ready.

You can always put in the dislclaimer "Be gentle" or something like that and you won't be flamed alive. Probably. It's good rejection practice for your manuscripts--which will be rejected at least once.

Also, you are not your work. Don't take the insults personally. It has nothing to do with you as a person and incidentally good writers have been known to write complete crap. Every writer can work on their writing. There are no perfect novels. There are just varying degrees of imperfect ones.

Yep, you gotta do it. Flaunt the tender pink parasol if you have to, but get started. The only way you will get anywhere near a publisher is to harden up and become objective about your own work. Only way to do that is to expose it to other eyes. Just think, if you stuck your head in the sand and self-published, there would be people laughing behind your back. Better to have them in front and grow stronger for it.

I have always been very, very cautious about who I show my work to. Bigger sister gets a 'yes' mostly because she'd kill me if I tried to hide my WIP from her.

My advice is find someone who you feel you can trust with your writing, a friend or sibling or even teacher. My best work has come with the aid of my readers, and it does help a lot of writers to hear feedback.

IMO, it isn't neccessarily bad to be more cautious with posting your writing online. I personally could not bring myself to. But don't become so cautious that no one will ever see what you write. It might be a lot better than you think.

I think it's awesome that the OP recognizes their thin skin.

If you don't think you can take criticism, don't ask for it

If you want to build up your tolerance, start by going to friends and telling them you don't want to hear bad things yet, just good, then wean yourself.

You're a writer: imagine what it would be like to have your work harshly critiqued-- make it an exercise. What would your character do? Would she cave in; give up and never write again? Would she research all she could about the person who critiqued her and then cyber-stalk her? Or would she sit on the critique for a while, think it over, then realize that some--not all--points where actually helpful?

You see, you're in a story already, your own story. You might as well make it exciting!

How about starting off with something shorter, a short story or a flash? To me, that can't possibly be anywhere near as daunting. After years of sharing, though, I still get the shakes whenever I hand over even a short that I really like. I haven't finished a novel yet, but I know that the first time I hand someone a full manuscript, I'll have one main requirement--that they are very fast readers. They will find me in the bathroom when they're finished--waiting. I'm that bad, yes, but in sharing the smaller reads, you will find the ones you trust will give you the kind of advice you need at different times. And first reads should always be done for enjoyment and continuity. When you are ready and you've found those people, tell them exactly what you want from them.

You know, I'm always very nervous when I post something in SYW.
But every single piece of feedback I've gotten has been extremely helpful.

If you want to get published, you'll have to develop thick skin. Why? Because you're going to get rejected. I'm not speaking from experience (haven't even queried yet ) but that's common knowledge isn't it?

Of course, if you have thin skin, what can you do? I don't think it's fair to tell you to "get over it" or anything. On the contrary, when (well, if ) you post something in SYW, put in a disclaimer. I'm sure people will listen.

Not to mention you're anonymous!

Alternatively, find someone you really trust to look at your work. Bottom line is you really do need another pair of eyes!

P.S. How do you know you're not that good? We are our own harshest critics.

Okay, this isn't what most people are saying, but I think it depends on your goal at the moment. Do you intend to submit your current work? Or are you still just working on getting the hang of it and doing it for fun? If it's the latter, there's not much need to show anyone yet.

I would recommend letting someone else see it, however. Preferably someone who understands. The truth of the matter is almost all of us sucked the first time around. A lot of us suck the third or fourth times around. Please try to understand that no matter how much of yourself you put into your story, a critique is not a personal critique about you. Your worth as a person is not defined by whether or not someone likes your manuscript. Might sound hard to believe, but it's completely true.

Anyway, take me for instance. Even if you showed me something that was very poorly written, I'm not going to say, "Wow you should just give it up, you're hopeless and pathetic." Now, I have met people like that, and those aren't the kind of people you want to be around. The purpose of a critique is to offer points of improvement and let you know what's working. I'm not going to look down on you if your work is still in the newbie stage. All of us were there once, and I know that you will improve over time. A lot of us are going to be like that.

And think of it this way. Even if it needed a lot of work, it's often hard to understand what exactly it is that needs work. Say, for instance, you use a lot of passive verbs. Maybe you don't notice that (I used to do this all the time and have just gotten to where I fix them on my own), but someone else would, and that person could say, "You use a lot of passive verbs. Try wording it more this way..." That gives you something to go back and look for yourself, and then you'll be more aware of it when you write next time, and thus will improve.

So really, not all that much reason to be afraid. Posting online is scary, but find a writing buddy who can read through a bit and just offer you pointers to begin with. Everyone is nervous about it, but it really isn't that bad, and it might be one of the best tools you can have.

On the other hand, having said that, if you really are nervous and feel that your work has lots of basic errors, etc. that you want to learn how to fix beforehand, do some searches for writing tips and start checking your manuscript, or check out a writing book at the library. Once you start getting more confidence it won't seem quite so scary.

dahlfan said:

I can't seem to bring myself up to this. I'm deathly afraid of any critisism, especially the online variety. I realize that I'm not that good, and I wouldn't want to embarass myself. I'd much rather keep honing my skills until I'm confident enough to at least show my mom. Also, I can't share my titles because for some reason my titles are just as much darling to me than the manuscripts themselves. That's probably not good.

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You're gonna suck.

But that's ok. Almost everyone sucks at one point and everyone sucks to someone. You can please them all as they say.

But toiling away in your room alone, isn't necessary the best way to get better in any amount of time. I was amazed by how much better my work going once I started getting crits from writers (not just friends and family) But that took a few years and three manuscripts before I starting getting serious and showing my work.

When I showed my work to other writers it got ripped to shreds. So I wrote it again, and it had its issues too. But it's getting better.

I have to say, my suggestion is find some folks who are willing to read it offline and comment on it constructively. I started writing in ye olde pre-internet days, and my writing was lousy. That's how it is at first. I'm just grateful that all those painfully melodramatic and poorly constructed stories only exist on a handful of photocopies read by fellow writing group members. They're not lurking out there, cached on a website, or lingering in the archives of a critique board.

So I don't blame anyone who's hesitant to bare his/her ass on the internet, but you need to find readers who can help you improve your writing.

As others have pointed out, whether you have to show and get told depends on what you want to do with your fiction.

If you're doing it for your own entertainment, you never have to show it to anyone.

If you hope to get published one day, you need to start getting feedback from readers not related to you, preferably from readers who either write themselves or who are the elusive Wise Readers -- readers who can articulate what they like and don't like and can even specify why.

You don't want agents or editors to be your first readers. Not so much because they'll be mean -- I've NEVER had a mean response from an agent or editor. Because agents and editors rarely respond to work they don't like with more than a form rejection, and that helps you improve not at all.

If I were you, I'd look for a reader in the Beta forum, specifying that you're new and tender yet. As you toughen up, you'll be able to put yourself out there more and more. I got my second Super Beta from a chapter I posted on the NaNoWriMo board, where all the crazy month-long novel frenzy world could see it.

My first Super Beta has been with me for decades, because I showed my work to a fellow college student.

Courage does pay off.