Desperate Query Help

Get out your copy of GAME OF THRONES and read the back cover copy. See if that suggests anything.

Best thing to do is to pick ONE of your POV characters and dicuss the novel through his or her perspective. You might say, "But that leaves out so many plots!" Doesn't matter. All you're trying to do is get the agent to read your pages, and you run the risk of being very confusing if you're cramming too much in. Following the conflict of one character keeps the query more streamlined.

Off to look at your thread. I'll have more to say over there but if you think you're being to vague then my guess is you're not narrowing in on the conflict.

An epic, sweeping adventure set in a fantasy dukedom. A duke's son and his close friends are catapulted from their idyllic lifestyle into a darker world filled with danger and deadly political intrigue. Each character plays his part in the intertwining storylines that twist, turn and sometimes snap on their way towards an explosive conclusion that none could ever have imagined possible!

...Sorry, that just came out. Maybe a word or two might help, I dunno. If not, ignore.

-Derek

ebenstone said:

How does one write a query for a novel that has multiple POVs like Wheel of Time or A Song Of Ice and Fire? I'm really struggling with it. (You can see my struggles over in the SYW thread!) I have a main character but I find I sound too vague in the query. Any help, suggestions, examples...thanks.

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Whose story is it? Pick one (or two, but no more than three) and focus on them. Cut subplot, cut minor characters. A query is a pitch, not a complete synopsis of your story. You want to keep your focus pretty narrow: who, why, when, where and how. Keep the "who" to a minimum as much as you can.

For example, if you're querying the Lord of the Rings, don't give me a laundry list of names. Focus on Frodo (and maybe even Sam, but I'd just pick Frodo) and you can just mention Frodo and friends. Then add the villains (again, don't give me a list... just Sauron would do).

Be SPECIFIC but not DETAILED to avoid being vague.

What does that mean?

Seattle is specific. "A US city" is vague. "Sixth and Main near Cafe Istanbul" is too detailed.

Focus on the main conflict/plot and what your story is about.

Hook us with premise. Make us want to read more. But don't us too much because you want us to "ask for more."

dawinsor said:

Get out your copy of GAME OF THRONES and read the back cover copy. See if that suggests anything.

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I concur. I just finished reading it for the first time so it's sitting on my desk. While the cover copy is quite general, you can easily decide from that which viewpoint character should be put forth in the query: Eddard/Ned. One character will always stand out/have the most to lose/be most important to the main conflict.

I'm also agreeing with the advice to read jacket copy on GRRM's novels. Unlike Wheel of Time, which mainly focuses on Rand with the other POV characters having important but still SUB subplots, ASOIAF truly has multiple stories going on at once, and it would be, I think, impossible to choose just one main character and give a fair representation of those novels.

I mean, at first Ned is the main character, but then [highlight if you want a spoiler]... he's killed by the vicious Rabbit of Caerbannog, who's got sharp pointy teeth.