worst published book you ever read

gp101 · Jun 10, 2005

This isn't meant to disparage the scribes that have us shaking our heads ("how the hell did s/he get that published!"). But I've often read that it helps to read some bad novels along with the good ones; that you can learn a lot if you can explain to yourself why the damn thing was so bad.

Of course, if a novel I consider really bad and was a chore to get through has sold millions of copies, well that just confuses the hell out of me and puts me back at 1st base, if not the batter's box.

But getting back to the original question: what's the worst published novel you ever read (published the traditional way, not a P.O.D. or web book; one that a publisher actually purchased and printed hard copies)? There are so many I started and put down forever after the first chapter, so how about limiting this to books you made it to at least half-way through or to the end. And why was it so damn bad?

jules · Jun 10, 2005

It's hard to pin down a worst book, perhaps as hard as it is to pin down a best one... they all have their bad and their good points.

One book that severely annoyed me was "Day of the Dolphin" by Robert Merle, which had flow-of-consciousness style run-on sentences that were over a page long. But the plot, at least, was kind of amusing, and kept me reading through the bad prose.

I recall one book (I've forgotten both title and author, sorry) with a really cliche plot about interplanetary truckers... but it was redeemed by a line of dialogue in the last chapter which went (roughly) "Dude, you just punched God's lights out!".

I tried to read Stephen King's "The Girl Who Loved Tom Gordon", but by the time I was fifty pages in it hadn't engaged me in the slightest, so it went straight back on the shelf. I rarely don't finish a book I've started reading -- I can't remember the previous one.

aadams73 · Jun 10, 2005

I recall reading a bland romance a few years back--a library book thankgod--then picking up another by the same author a few weeks later. Lo and behold the story was pretty much identical with just the names and title changed. I couldn't believe it.

As for the worst books out there today, well there is one prolific and popular writer out there whose work is so bad that I can't imagine how it sells. But, it's hard to argue with 530 million novels sold.

oswann · Jun 10, 2005

There are books I didn't read because they were so bad. I started a Clive Cussler which wasn't bad enough for me to laugh at it and not good enough for me to read it.

This is the worst for me, when the book isn't even bad enough to be a parody. And who says editors don't do their jobs? All the real gems stay in the slush. Damn it.

Os.

scribbler1382 · Jun 10, 2005

The Search by Iris Johansen. I bought this because it was marketed as a "thriller", but at about the halfway point it was obvious this was more chicklit than thriller. Nothing wrong with that, unless it's pretending to be something else, which it was. Johansen isn't a bad writer, technically, which enabled me to read the entire book despite realizing I wasn't in Kansas anymore.

MarkEsq · Jun 10, 2005

Here's one

The worst book I can think of reading (ok, half-reading) was John Grishom's 'King of Torts.' Perhaps I was disappointed because he's normally pretty entertaining. But this one was just a bore through and through, no conflict, no antagonist to spark my interest. In my humble opinion, he just phoned that one in for some deadline or other.

write4details · Jun 10, 2005

Most people don't read bad books unless they have to. I mean, why would we? So most of the worst books people read are assigned in school.

So you end up reading Silas Marner...REALLY hard to come up with a worse one than that. Or Paradise Lost...oops, no wait, Paradise Regained was much worse. The Brontes would be on my list, but chicks sometimes like them.

I'd put Lord of the Flies and Catcher in the Rye on the forced fed pain list. Talk about BORING.

Canterbury Tales? I used to think schools were trying to make kids stop reading, actually.

brinkett · Jun 10, 2005

write4details said:
Most people don't read bad books unless they have to. I mean, why would we? So most of the worst books people read are assigned in school.

I used to force my way through a bad book on the principle that I should finish what I started, but as I got older and came to appreciate time a little more, I stopped doing that. If a book hasn't engaged me in some way by the end of the first chapter, I move on.

And yes, some of the most boring, bland fiction I've ever read was assigned in high school or college.

Jamesaritchie · Jun 10, 2005

Worst

gp101 said:
This isn't meant to disparage the scribes that have us shaking our heads ("how the hell did s/he get that published!"). But I've often read that it helps to read some bad novels along with the good ones; that you can learn a lot if you can explain to yourself why the damn thing was so bad.

Of course, if a novel I consider really bad and was a chore to get through has sold millions of copies, well that just confuses the hell out of me and puts me back at 1st base, if not the batter's box.

But getting back to the original question: what's the worst published novel you ever read (published the traditional way, not a P.O.D. or web book; one that a publisher actually purchased and printed hard copies)? There are so many I started and put down forever after the first chapter, so how about limiting this to books you made it to at least half-way through or to the end. And why was it so damn bad?

When it comes to published novels, 99.99999% of the time good or bad means nothing more than you like it or you don't. I generally think it's pointless, rather silly, and highly disingenuous to label most published books as good or bad, because you're probably wrong either way. No matter how bad you think the book is, there are going to be just as many who love it.

But if you mean which published novel I hated above all others, it's not even a contest. That novel would be Ulysses by James Joyce.

eldragon · Jun 10, 2005

I'm addicted to reading memoirs .......I usually read anywhere from 3-5 per week. But, if the book stinks .....I put it down.

Just this week alone .....I put down two books. Last night - I started to read 'I am the Central Park Jogger," but put it down because it was boring.

AND ........... "Dandelions in December," a nursing home administrator memoir - which could have great content - as I myself am a nursing home volunteer.......but the way it was written lost my interest.

I have stacks of books to read .....if they don't grab me - I don't waste my time. This week, I have read 3 memoirs already.

"Breathing for a living," About cystic fibrosis.
and two others I can't remember without finding the books.

And last night I started another memoir - 'Learning joy from dogs without collars." It's pretty good.

katiemac · Jun 10, 2005

Most people don't read bad books unless they have to. I mean, why would we? So most of the worst books people read are assigned in school.

I can't think of a bad novel that was assigned in school. Those are some of my favorite authors/novels I've read.

Lyra Jean · Jun 10, 2005

How about the entire "Left Behind" series. It was like once they got saved they never had any problems anymore. Which is so not true in real life. The authors don't even follow their own story logic and there were quite a few characters who should have died way sooner than they did in the books.

The plot was predictable and the characters were cookie cutter cardboard and thin as paper.

zizban · Jun 10, 2005

I agree with the poster above; as I get older, I find I have little patience for bad books. If it isn't engaging within 50 or so pages, I put it back on the shelf. I think the worst I ever read was The Rose and the Prophet books by Weis and Hickman. These two are good writers this trilogy positively bored me.

Nangleator · Jun 10, 2005

I read Ben Bova's Venus and Jupiter recently. Started Venus first. I should not have read it, considering that I'm still trying to sell my own first novel.

I really don't know what happened with Venus. Perhaps he let a friend's kid write it under his name, or I just ran into a problem early on and was far more critical with the rest of it than any other novel, ever. But, dang. I hated that book. Forced myself to finish it, though. The story wasn't too bad, just the prose and the main character.

Somehow I found the courage to read Jupiter immediately after. I couldn't believe how different it was. It's a very fine novel.

For more bad examples, look to the later Stainless Steel Rat novels. I LOVED the first few, then couldn't help but notice the writing style grating on me more and more, while I still enjoyed the characters and the adventures.

scribbler1382 · Jun 10, 2005

Nangleator said:
I read Ben Bova's Venus and Jupiter recently. Started Venus first. I should not have read it, considering that I'm still trying to sell my own first novel.

I really don't know what happened with Venus. Perhaps he let a friend's kid write it under his name, or I just ran into a problem early on and was far more critical with the rest of it than any other novel, ever. But, dang. I hated that book. Forced myself to finish it, though. The story wasn't too bad, just the prose and the main character.

Oh, dear. I've got Venus at home but haven't gotten to it yet. I quite liked Ben's Moonbase and Moonwar books. Maybe I'll skip to Jupiter.

PattiTheWicked · Jun 10, 2005

After watching the miniseries of the Forsyte Saga, I figured I'd read the book(s). I really tried to like it, I did.

But it freakin' bored me to tears. Even imagining Damiem Lewis as Soames, it still didnt' work for me. Worse yet, I've tried to sell my copy on ebay and Amazon, and no one else wants it either.

Nangleator · Jun 10, 2005

scribbler1382 said:
Oh, dear. I've got Venus at home but haven't gotten to it yet.

By all means give it a try, and compare it to other works of his. I challenge you to like the main character, though. I can't remember specifics, but at least a few times, I got pissed off at science issues, and I'm no scientist.

I wonder if Venus was an unpublished first novel that he dusted off. If so, he should have dusted a little more.

If you're a frustrated novelist, like myself, a comparison with your own work will leave you quite angry with the publishing industry.

AncientEagle · Jun 10, 2005

I think personal tastes in reading are very much just that, personal, and it's hard to find the reasons behind it. I enjoy John Sandford thrillers, but can't get interested in Stephen King, though I accept the fact that he's a good writer. Just not for me. I have also found that a book I can't read one year, I might, if I stumble across it, enjoy thoroughly the next. I'm not the same person this year that I was last.

Jonny Ryan Mac · Jun 10, 2005

aadams73 said:
As for the worst books out there today, well there is one prolific and popular writer out there whose work is so bad that I can't imagine how it sells. But, it's hard to argue with 530 million novels sold.

This has to be about Dan Brown, and even if its not, why do so many writers hate him? I guess its the whole "FACT" Thing he did in his books, his facts seem real relative, but i throughly enjoyed both his Langdon books

Jamesaritchie · Jun 10, 2005

Left Behind

rosemerry said:
How about the entire "Left Behind" series. It was like once they got saved they never had any problems anymore. Which is so not true in real life. The authors don't even follow their own story logic and there were quite a few characters who should have died way sooner than they did in the books.

The plot was predictable and the characters were cookie cutter cardboard and thin as paper.

I agree, but next to Harry Potter, I know more people who absolutely love the Left Behind novels than who love anything else out there.

pepperlandgirl · Jun 10, 2005

I was reading a blog that disected the Left Behind books and did a really wonderful job of it, and I guess I didn't bookmark it.

But reading through his analysis, it became clear to me that the book wasn't just trite and two dimensional, it could be down-right offensive at times (the first one...he hasn't gotten to the other 48).

I have a friend who thought since I was really into Buffy and Angel, I'd love all things vampires. So she gave me the first Anita Blake book. I know it's a popular series, and people just seem to love it, but man, what a steaming pile of horse apples that book was. First I kept reading because I thought, "God, this has got to get better. Please, let it get better." Then I realized it would not get better, but I kept reading anyway, out of sheer stubborness.

And it's been a few years now, but I remember the premise and the plot actually wasn't so bad. It was her ineffectual, lifeless, soulless prose. Hamilton had (has?) no style to speak of, unless you want to say bad style. Mediocre style.

There might be worse books out there, but I spent the past four years pretty much reading only my Lit books, and I didn't have a problem with any of them.

MadScientistMatt · Jun 10, 2005

Jamesaritchie said:
But if you mean which published novel I hated above all others, it's not even a contest. That novel would be Ulysses by James Joyce.

I'm another member of the card-carrying James Joyce Haters' Club. The only one I read was Portrait of the Artist as a Young Man, and I found it painful. It was like listening to a drunken bore tell a long rambling story - with me being stone sober.

aadams73 · Jun 10, 2005

Jonny Ryan Mac said:
This has to be about Dan Brown, and even if its not, why do so many writers hate him?

Nope, you'd be wrong. He hasn't sold even close to 530 million books. I don't hate Dan Brown, but The DaVinci Code isn't even close to being his best work.
He is capable of better.

Nangleator · Jun 10, 2005

Oh, anyone bring up the Gor novels yet? Started out okay, if a little sophmoric, but after the first few... Damn! Never seen anyone masturbate so much onto innocent paper.

scribbler1382 · Jun 10, 2005

aadams73 said:
Nope, you'd be wrong. He hasn't sold even close to 530 million books. I don't hate Dan Brown, but The DaVinci Code isn't even close to being his best work.
He is capable of better.

I agree on this. While I liked The DaVinci Code well enough, I find it hard to understand the popularity of it over a ton of other books I could mention. I've read all of Dan Brown's books, and actually prefer Deception Point and Digital Fortress over his religion-themed novels.

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