Show the sex scene or fade to black

Lyra Jean · Feb 21, 2009

Besides the basic answer of if it advances your story how do you know whether to show a sex scene or fade it too black? Is it a preference? Does showing a sex scene automatically make said story erotica?

*I have nothing against erotica and read it all the time.

maestrowork · Feb 21, 2009

Does the sex a) develop characters, b) advance the plot or c) strengthen the themes? Is it gratuitous or does it serve a great purpose (see above 3 criteria)? If not, cut.

And no. Plenty of mainstream/genre fiction has sex scenes. Erotica is itself a specific genre and one only needs to read a few to understand what it is.

Like just because your protagonists are teenagers doesn't mean your book is YA. Same logic here. What is the focus here? What is your book about? Why is the sex scene(s) important?

Lyra Jean · Feb 21, 2009

Now that you mention yeah I do notice a difference. I just never studied it before for writing purposes.

2Wheels · Feb 21, 2009

A question I once tossed around myself. I would have preferred to take the 'fade to black' option, but decided, for various reasons, that I couldn't. It was a monumental moment between my MC and her love interest, and became an opportunity to reveal certain key pieces of information about them (and between them).

A sex scene does not erotica make. You don't have to go overboard with it. You can write an intimate scene without having to resort to bodice--ripping cliches or going into fine detail. If it is something you're going to write--keep your normal writing voice!

C.M. Daniels · Feb 21, 2009

For me, it depends on the project and the characters involved. If it fits in the story, and advances it, go for it.

MsGneiss · Feb 21, 2009

2Wheels said:
If it is something you're going to write--keep your normal writing voice!

I can't agree with this more. The best example of sex scenes done right come from Charlain Harriss and her Sookie Stackhouse books. She writes them with excellent humor, and keeps the true voice of the book and the characters. And of course, they are not just for cheap thrills, but really do enhance the story and the characters.

Zinta · Feb 21, 2009

I've always felt a good love scene is one of the hardest to write. Few topics sink more quickly into cliche. Very few writers write a true and good love scene. When I do come across one that steams and yet has a fresh expression ... I know I have found a master. On any topic.

One of the best love scenes I've read is by Hemingway in For Whom the Bell Tolls. There is not much more than "yes" and more "yes" and still more "yes" in the scene, but Heminway was indeed the master of the spare word. It worked. The pages curled. Hemingway could walk that tightrope better than anyone. This much and no more.

I prefer the fade to black variety, perhaps mostly because most writers can't love the word well enough. Getting graphic for the sake of graphic is, well, dull. And a sign of literary weakness, a crutch. If you are a word master, tantalize me. If you're not, and very, very few are ... less really is more.

JamieFord · Feb 21, 2009

Is it germane to the story? Is it necessary? Or does it stand out and distract...like a zit? Less is probably more.

Sirion · Feb 21, 2009

Depends on who it's for.

NeuroFizz · Feb 21, 2009

I'm not a fan of any detailed description of the mechanics of interaction in a love scene (in non-erotica). It just makes it seem kind of gratuitous, even if the scene does add to the story. But before you assume I favor just jumping from the kiss to the cigarette, realize that there is so much more to a love scene than friction. This is one of the most intense experiences two people can share (both physically and emotionally), and playing with the actions and reactions in both arenas (physical and emotional) can provide incredible additions to characterization, tone and even theme of a story. If we put our writing of a love scene in the character's head instead of his/her genitals, we have the potential to write something powerful, interesting, and extremely useful for progression of the story.

C.bronco · Feb 21, 2009

I'm too much of a prude to write a sex scene. But that's my hang up.

Diamond Lil · Feb 21, 2009

I write romance, but I'm careful when I write sex scenes. Less is more: tantalize the readers between the scenes with crackling tension and smart dialogue and then they'll ready for between the sheets.

Ken · Feb 21, 2009

...fade to black, with the assumption that readers can probably imagine much better sex scene than I could ever hope to write, myself. For those who can write them, well, I'd say it pays to slip one in, even if it is a tad gratuitous, because sex does indeed sell. Mainstreamers are full of such goings on days these days, giving authors no reason to hold back, so long as they keep the depictions reasonably mild: R but not X.

terminal humanity · Feb 22, 2009

First, I would not take advice from people who don't know when to use "too" versus "to." Do what you feel is right, reread it, then modify if needed. Worry what the editor says. Listen to the people who read your story before the editor gets his/her hands on it.

The WIP I'm focusing on is dark, brutal, and wildly offensive. Therefore, I go into the sex scenes with gusto, all the dirty details in haul. The worst things you can imagine, but not the worst I can imagine. THAT wouldn't be right for my story;-)

Personal preference before audience satisfaction. If you aren't happy with it, then who cares if others are happy with it?

Phoebe H · Feb 22, 2009

Write it and see. You can always cut it later.

Stunted · Feb 22, 2009

If I it's a couple that I really like, when they have sex, something really satisfying has to happen. So it doesn't necessarily have to be explicit, but there should be a little while before it fades to black where you're like "OMG, are they going to have sex? They totally have to have sex. Come on! Come on!" and then one of them says something really cute/badass/whatever that makes it clear that they're going to do it. Then you can fade to black.

In case I wasn't clear, explicitly isn't bad. It's just that no matter what you decide to do, there has to be suspense and then something emotionally satisfying has to happen.

maestrowork · Feb 22, 2009

Stunted said:
In case I wasn't clear, explicitly isn't bad. It's just that no matter what you decide to do, there has to be suspense and then something emotionally satisfying has to happen.

Why does it have to be satisfying? Why can't it be awkward, frustrating, weird, silly, disgusting, unnerving, brutal, repulsive, anxious, conflicting, mean... unsatisfying?

Sex scene is just like any other scenes -- why the expectations? Why can't it be what it is? A part of the story. Why must a death scene be sad? Or a wedding scene be lovely? Just like any scenes: Show vs. tell. You can, of course, always fade to black and then describe it late using any one of those vague adjectives, or you can guide your readers through the experience and make them feel awkward, frustrated, weird, silly, disgusted, etc. But a sex scene, like any other scenes, must serve a purpose. Or you can skip it completely if it doesn't serve any purpose.

I don't understand the qualms about sex scenes because, I mean, do you have a problem with writing death scenes? How your antagonist gets it bad in the end? How about scenes where the characters beat the shit out of each other? Do you have a problem with that as well? To me, sex scene is just like any other scenes, albeit it could be more difficult to do well. But people who have a problem writing or reading sex scenes -- I have a feeling they have a problem with talking about sex in general.

So that's not a story problem. But a problem with the author. As for the readers: if you build it, they will come (so to speak). Those who won't read your book for whatever reasons, won't anyway.

NeuroFizz · Feb 22, 2009

terminal humanity said:
First, I would not take advice from people who don't know when to use "too" versus "to."

Thanks for pointing out my error. But before you assume it's a lack of knowledge, you may want to consider that it is just a typographical error, particularly since in all other instances in the post it was used correctly. And your work isn't done here. There are more posts with typos or incorrectly used words. Seems you'll have to ignore quite a bit of advice in AW.

Perks · Feb 22, 2009

Since sex is generally not a spectator sport, I find that, most of the time, it serves only to pull me out of the story and remind me that it's not real. (Unless, of course, the sex is the point of the story, in which case, I have no problem with it.)

I can read the characters' thoughts and paragraphs of narrative detailing their motivations, but sex, being as personal and complicated as it is, almost always requires too much focus to ring true, becoming self-conscious and distracting.

And then sometimes it works just great. The sex in Jeffrey Eugenides' Middlesex was essential and perfectly rendered. So, I think I just talked myself around the block.

seun · Feb 22, 2009

Perks said:
Since sex is generally not a spectator sport

I don't know about that. There are some woods near my house where people meet and...uh...nevermind.

GirlWithPoisonPen · Feb 22, 2009

You should write a sex scene that suits the mood and tone of your book. It's no different than any other scene.

Maryn · Feb 22, 2009

terminal humanity said:
First, I would not take advice from people who don't know when to use "too" versus "to."

Listen up, esteemed new member. Rule number one around here is "Respect your fellow writer." Rule two is "Obey rule one."

You're snarking up the wrong tree anyway. Neuro does many critiques helping others improve their writing, has a publishing career in addition to his day job, and freely shares his expertise and experience. Personally, I'd think you could find better people to attack and/or alienate, you know?

Maryn, agreeing with a portion of your profile

qwerty · Feb 22, 2009

I'm old enough to remember the move to get Lady Chatterley's Lover banned for its sexual explicitness. Of course, that was what made it a "must read" and a huge sexess for D.H.Lawrence's publisher.

But, let's face it, there are only so many ways the sexual act can be described. Once that's been done many times, it can become boring.

And sex should NEVER be boring.

NeuroFizz said:
There are more posts with typos or incorrectly used words. Seems you'll have to ignore quite a bit of advice in AW.

So say all of us.

Stunted · Feb 22, 2009

maestrowork said:
Why does it have to be satisfying? Why can't it be awkward, frustrating, weird, silly, disgusting, unnerving, brutal, repulsive, anxious, conflicting, mean... unsatisfying?

You're right. I was imagining a very specific kind of sex scene. Let me amend what I said. When writing a sex scene, whether you fade to black or not, you need to have suspense and then firmly establish whatever the emotional content of the sex is.

cwfgal · Feb 22, 2009

maestrowork said:
Why does it have to be satisfying? Why can't it be awkward, frustrating, weird, silly, disgusting, unnerving, brutal, repulsive, anxious, conflicting, mean... unsatisfying?

Sex scene is just like any other scenes -- why the expectations? Why can't it be what it is? A part of the story. Why must a death scene be sad? Or a wedding scene be lovely? Just like any scenes: Show vs. tell. You can, of course, always fade to black and then describe it late using any one of those vague adjectives, or you can guide your readers through the experience and make them feel awkward, frustrated, weird, silly, disgusted, etc. But a sex scene, like any other scenes, must serve a purpose. Or you can skip it completely if it doesn't serve any purpose.

I don't understand the qualms about sex scenes because, I mean, do you have a problem with writing death scenes? How your antagonist gets it bad in the end? How about scenes where the characters beat the shit out of each other? Do you have a problem with that as well? To me, sex scene is just like any other scenes, albeit it could be more difficult to do well. But people who have a problem writing or reading sex scenes -- I have a feeling they have a problem with talking about sex in general.

So that's not a story problem. But a problem with the author. As for the readers: if you build it, they will come (so to speak). Those who won't read your book for whatever reasons, won't anyway.

What he said. (Quoted above because I thought it was worth repeating.)

And thanks for the parenthetical coffee-out-my-nose, Maestro.

Beth

Show the sex scene or fade to black

Two years old now.

Fear the Death Ray

Two years old now.

Anachronista

Cinnamon, sit. Bad fish!

giving resonant directions

practical experience, FTW

The grad students did it

I have plans...

terminal humanity

Ich heiße Superphantastisch!

Fear the Death Ray

The grad students did it

delicate #!&@*#! flower

Horror Man

Mata Hari

I Tried

exiled Brit

Ich heiße Superphantastisch!

On the rocks