POV and Character's History

Greetings! Although I have written several non fiction articles published in various magazines, as far as fiction goes, I'm a newbie. Back in August, what began as a fictionalized expression of emotion, written only for personal catharsis, began to turn itself into a novel in progress.

I experimented with various POVs, and found that my best writing was happening when I used mutiple narrators speaking in the first person. Yes, I realize that this was ambitious for a first piece, but that was where the inspiration was coming from.

Here's a brief synopsis:

On September 11 2001, Mariel, a PT living in NYC has arranged to meet her dad, in the WTC. Her dad was a former member of the 10th Mountain Division. He arrives early, and is killed. In the years that follow, Mariel falls into a deep depression. She is only happy when she is skiing in Colorado, where her dad did his training during WWII. Her husband decides to set her up with a PT clinic in CO. He will stay in NYC until they know the clinic will be financially feasible.

Once in CO. she meets, and becomes infatuated with her ski instructor. Much of the story revolves around their attempts to keep their relationship professional, depsite their intense chemistry. Think Lillian Hellman/Dash Hammett.

Here's where I need some help. Mariel receives a package from her brother, containing letters written to her dad by Kate, a WAC in the 10th. It seems that, despite the fact that Kate was already married, she and Mariel's dad had a torrid affair. They continued to write to each other, even after Mariel's dad gets married.

I want to show some real history in this story. So far, I've had Mariel tell about her dad's involvement in the 10th. She also describes how he met her mom, who was a showgirl in the USO.

The problem is that compared to the rest of the piece, which has some lively dialogue, it's a bit dry. I need to do something that will bring the reader into the action. If I do a flashback sequence, I may be adding too many more narrators, which can be confusing to readers. I'm considering a combination fo a diary written by her father, along with excerpts from Kate's letters.

Thoughts?

Thanks!

Thanks for everyone's feedback. I decided to use a few methods. Mariel, her husband, her ski instructor and his girlfriend load the van and ahead out to the resort where Kate works.

During the ride, Mariel tells her father's story. At certain points, the other three characters interrupt with questions and comments. Their attitude about Mariel's father's history reveals a good deal about the characters themselves, and their attitudes towards each other. Once they reach the mountain, Kate and Mariel ride the lift together, and Kate reveals a bit more.

BTW, EninemsRevenge, your story is intriguing!

Good points, Word Slinger. Fortunately, in my actual writing, I never use any of these shortcuts. As a prolific web poster, I've picked up a good deal of "web speak," but now that I'm doing some real writng, it's probably best not to allow myself any bad habits.

No problem! I've been on writer's boards where people use so many abreviations {like WIP} I feel like it's written in another language.

For the record, I am actually a personal trainer, and believe it or not, it's illegal to use the initials "PT." You can say CPT for certified personal trainer, but PT is reserved for physical therapists.

reph said:

A novel without contractions comes off as stilted. You feel you ought to wear clean clothes and sit up straight when reading it.

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I had that issue when I first started writing this story. People were sitting around at an Apres Ski bar, saying things like "I do not, she will not," etc. By avoiding all contractions in dialogue, it just didn't sound like a ski bar conversation.

Speaking of dialogue, you know how word puts a green underline on any ofyour sentence fragments? That's great for non-fiction, but in real life, people talk in fragments all the time.