The Evils of "was"?

Mike Martyn · May 11, 2005

Several of the threads I've followed on this forum have suggested that the word "was" should not be used prolificly in writing. If so why?

I've tied my self in liguistic knots trying to avoid the use of "was".

Is it a "showing" verses "telling" issue?

Jamesaritchie · May 11, 2005

Was

Mike Martyn said:
Several of the threads I've followed on this forum have suggested that the word "was" should not be used prolificly in writing. If so why?

I've tied my self in liguistic knots trying to avoid the use of "was".

Is it a "showing" verses "telling" issue?

Was isn't evil, just misunderstood. It's a passive/active issue. "To be" verbs, and "was" in particular, tend to make sentences passive. "The gun was fired." "The river was crossed."

But there's nothing inherently wrong with "was." You just have to know when and how to use it.

Torin · May 11, 2005

What makes me crazy is when someone sees "was" in a sentence and pronounces that sentence as passive, even when it's NOT, as in "He was running down the street." There are times when "to be" in all its forms is needed, and times when a passive sentence is just what is needed. Heh.

Torin, turning rant off now

James D. Macdonald · May 11, 2005

"Was" is another tool in our tool box. Use it when necessary.

azbikergirl · May 11, 2005

One thing I struggle with as a learner, and perhaps others can relate, is that the advice to not go overboard with something (passive voice, prepositional phrases, Show don't Tell, using 'was,' etc.) translates to "don't ever do this." We go to our critique groups, filled with other learners who hear the same messages, and these lessons are stomped into our heads: "Show! DON'T TELL!! DAMNIT!!" So we (I) develop a paranoia and start frothing at the mouth if ever someone suggests that it's probably best to Tell right here rather than trying to Show, or that one instance of passive phrasing in a 100,000 word manuscript isn't going to ruin the story.

gogoshire · May 11, 2005

Yes, I relate!

I understand what you're saying completely.

This is a constant frustration in my writing group.

Personally, I believe almost anything's ok in moderation, except maybe the really hard core, addictive stuff like crack, heroin, or intentional sentence fragments - you know, the kind of things we need 12 step programs to deal with.
(Oh - haven't you heard of the sentence fragment writer anonymous group?)

--Maureen

Deleted member 42 · May 11, 2005

Mike Martyn said:
I've tied my self in liguistic knots trying to avoid the use of "was".

Don't let anything -- plot concerns, spelling, syntax, grammar, rules about what to do -- anything at all -- prevent you from BIC and writing.

Just get it down; you can go back and revise later. Let your hind brain work stuff out, and just write.

Lenora Rose · May 11, 2005

I had a new but pro-level published and well-reviewed writer go over an MS of mine, and he highlighted every instance of "Was/is" as passive, and every instance of passiveness as something to be rephrased or deleted. Including the phrase, "He was human." (yes, in that world, it had to be said and couldn't be assumed). You could tie yourself in knots trying to figure out how better to state that one quickly, efficiently, and above all, in a way that's *invisible to the reader*...

I knew I could and should switch the phrase "He was red-haired") to something that came out in the course of natural action or at least less-bland descriptor, but letting a reader imagine a character I know is a carrot top as a brunette doesn't change anything essential. But humanity? It wanted to be stated up front in the fewest words.

(That being said, all of his broad-view advice was superb, and most of his more pointers of "This scene drags at the opening" were equally excellent or at least correct.)

gogoshire · May 11, 2005

he highlighted every instance of "Was/is" as passive, and every instance of passiveness as something to be rephrased or deleted. Including the phrase, "He was human."

Just so you know, in this case, the sentence isn't passive (or active). "Was" is used as a linking verb, not a helping verb. I wouldn't worry about changing every instance, either. Flip through James Joyce. Toni Morrison. Jane Austen. Shakespeare.

They all use linking verbs now and again, and they all have some passive sentences, too.

James D. Macdonald · May 11, 2005

"He was human" may not be a sentence you need unless there's a chance that he might be a gerbil.

Deleted member 42 · May 11, 2005

gogoshire said:
Just so you know, in this case, the sentence isn't passive (or active). "Was" is used as a linking verb, not a helping verb. I wouldn't worry about changing every instance, either. Flip through James Joyce. Toni Morrison. Jane Austen. Shakespeare.

They all use linking verbs now and again, and they all have some passive sentences, too.

There's an exceedingly long grammar-intensive thread on passive voice here.

Sometimes you, or your character, may deliberately choose to use passive voice, for good reason.

reph · May 11, 2005

It isn't always a show/tell issue. All "was" and no "did" makes ms. a dull read. You can often find a more interesting verb.

"The old church was on 24th Street."
"The old church stood on 24th Street."

It's a show/tell issue here:

"Sophronia was angry at Jules."
"Sophronia threw her shoe at Jules and stormed out."

Lilybiz · May 11, 2005

"Was" can also indicate the gerund thing--

"She was walking along the street"
has a different feeling, is less immediate in a way than
"She walked along the street."

That doesn't mean it's better or worse, but it does mean there's a choice to make. Screenwriters, who usually use present tense in description, are taught never to use gerund because it drains their sentences of crispness.

Bufty · May 11, 2005

Used deliberately, I don't see anything wrong with 'was' per se, but when used willy nilly and without thought I think it will suck the life out of most prose.
Bufty

Deleted member 42 · May 11, 2005

reph said:
It isn't always a show/tell issue. All "was" and no "did" makes ms. a dull read. You can often find a more interesting verb.

"The old church was on 24th Street."
"The old church stood on 24th Street."

It's a show/tell issue here:

"Sophronia was angry at Jules."
"Sophronia threw her shoe at Jules and stormed out."

And Reph, like Uncle Jim, has nailed the issue.

Was is a good serviceable tool; but as a verb it's a wimp, and tends to generate wimpy clauses and hence weak prose.

It's not that hammers are bad, but they can be used to break heads, and windows, as well as mend floors.

Lenora Rose · May 11, 2005

James D. Macdonald said:
"He was human" may not be a sentence you need unless there's a chance that he might be a gerbil.

As per my comment in brackets immediately following. There are 4 sentient species within the story (Before taking into consideration within-species racial and cultural differences, which cause some to consider others of their own species as 'other').

Heck, neither protagonist counts as strictly homo sapiens (rather, homo Phocidae - not that they would use or understand themselves in those terms).

azbikergirl · May 11, 2005

When he walked in, she was humming a tune.

is not the same as

When he walked in, she hummed a tune.

Lilybiz · May 11, 2005

azbikergirl said:
When he walked in, she was humming a tune.

is not the same as

When he walked in, she hummed a tune.

Exactly. It's what I'm sayin', only said better.

azbikergirl · May 11, 2005

aertep said:
Exactly. It's what I'm sayin', only said better.

Yeah, sometimes the was version is the correct one.

maestrowork · May 11, 2005

I like "was," just not in these cases if I can avoid them:

- "He was shocked by Jenny."
- "He was starting to cry when she yelled."
- "It was a dark and stormy night."

Zane Curtis · May 11, 2005

maestrowork said:
"It was a dark and stormy night."

I'm curious now. How would you rewrite "It was a dark and stormy night" to eliminate the "was" without changing the tense?

Ace · May 11, 2005

Zane Curtis said:
I'm curious now. How would you rewrite "It was a dark and stormy night" to eliminate the "was" without changing the tense?

-probably with a 'had' somewhere in there.

The night had a dark and stormy quality.

It's not exactly poetry, but it works.

'Could' might work, too.

azbikergirl · May 11, 2005

How about, "A chilly wind whipped across the plain as clouds gathered under a moonless sky..."

maestrowork · May 11, 2005

"A storm shook the dark night."

jules · May 12, 2005

There's an interesting page on wikipedia about "E prime", a variant of the English language that prohibits the use of "to be".

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/E_Prime

The links at the bottom go into more detail about why you might want to write in this style, and why doing so might be a bad idea.

The Evils of "was"?

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