Need bad US brand names for my script

dgale1981 · Oct 15, 2008

Hi there - i'm writing a comedy piece based in America but i live in the UK. Our hero is a z list celebrity and I want him to have some sponsorship deals with cheap/bad brands.

We had written him as having deals with eating a dominos pizza, shaving with a gilette razor and foam, and wearing Adidas sportswear.. but this doesnt ring true with his status. he wouldnt get these deals.

As i'm not a US citizen I dont know what are examples of bad brands where it would be funny for him to be associated to. (our small brands in the UK probably dont translate across).

Any funny examples would be great!!! Like a budget grocery chain, or food products that are cheap?

Thanks guys!!!!

Bufty · Oct 15, 2008

Make them up?

alleycat · Oct 15, 2008

shoes from Payless

Spam or bologna (especially turkey bologna)

Jeno's or Totino's frozen pizza

clothes from Wal-Mart

Bic disposable razors

electronics from Radio Shack (RS isn't really that cheap but it still has a crappy reputation)

Suave shampoo (actually I use it, but then I'm cheap)

Old Milwaukee Beer

Dinty Moore (canned) beef stew

sardines

Moon Pie

RC Cola

Little Debbie cookies and snack cakes

Castleberry (canned) chili

Timex watches

Some cheap stores: Dollar General, the Dollar Store, Big Lots

dpaterso · Oct 15, 2008

I'd also go with "make them up" which has more fun potential.

If you decide use a real product or brand, you could be skating on thin ice. It's OK to have a character drink Pepsi. The product exists, people drink it every day. It's not OK to have the character spit out the drink and say, "This takes like puke!" or otherwise demean the product in any way that might affect perception and sales. What prodco in its right mind would want to risk a lawsuit?

...Which might not be your intention at all, so if that just doesn't apply, please ignore.

-Derek

dgale1981 · Oct 15, 2008

Oops, I really didnt think about the negative perception a brand may have from this. I wouldnt want to jeopardise any potential interest from prodco's.

It's done in a parody kind of situation. I've scripted a video package which runs about my character before he is due to receive an award. It shows him on stage in different outfits over the years, newspaper headlines about his performances, and so on. A life story so to speak.

Then the narrator mentions he's landed some lucrative sponsorship deals over the years and the intention is to show a very brief 2-3 second clip of various commercials where he's endorsing a product.

It doesnt specifically say anything bad about the brands at all - but the visual gag was just to show him doing some stuff with "inferior" percieved products. He's a sellout for these kind of things.

But when we read through we thought well he's a z list singer (albeit, big in his field but still not mainstream) so he wouldnt get those deals with the big brands i mentioned i'd orginally written. It's not realistic. Would just be nice if i could use real product just to show the level he's at in terms of who would use him to promote their stuff.

I could go down made up route for the sake of a sticky situation - but it loses its relevance a little bit.

dgale1981 · Oct 15, 2008

Oh, and thankyou for the suggestions so far. Appreciate all input.

kayg · Oct 17, 2008

What's wrong with bic disposable razors..?

Lyra Jean · Oct 17, 2008

Fashion Doll - the cheap almost clear plastic version of Barbie. Don't try and bend her legs it'll split open at the seam.

icerose · Oct 18, 2008

If you want to have real brands, I'd mix it up. For his crappy photo ops use made up brand names. This will add to the, gee, I haven't even heard of them, and him pining for real big brands, which will add that layer of what he's shooting for that people can relate to. "Man, all those budwiser guys get the best gigs."

Just a thought.

zeprosnepsid · Oct 21, 2008

What are those commercials Gary Coleman does? Cash call? Something like that. Youtube it. Sounds like exactly what you're looking for.

But yeah, the best way to portray this, although perhaps cliche because it's how it's always portrayed, is if you are cutting to the commercials -- to show your main character in some kind of giant suit. Giant hot dog or something. Or have him say "I did a Pepsi Commercial" and cut to him wearing a giant pepsi can suit or something.

tspenn · Oct 23, 2008

cheap sponsors

Why not go with the infomercial products, lots of stuff there that is well known from repeated commercials. The Sham-Wow, Billy Mays products, how about the daytime ambulance chaser law firms like Johnny Cochran, OJ's attorney, now dead but they still plug his name during Jerry Springer commercial breaks, The Flow-bee hair cutting system, hair replacement systems, Grecian Formula hair dye for men, Chia-Pet, there are a million exercise equipment products, Bow flex, Perfect Push up, Medical alert products: "I've fallen and I can't get up". IRS tax accounts are big, Invention Submission corporations. How about the old Nigerian email about transferring inherited funds to your bank account. Suzanne Somers and the Thigh Master!

Lots of fodder in the sub name brand sewer.

TS

Joe270 · Oct 23, 2008

I like the 'make 'em up idea', you can try 'Gasso's Burritos'. Burritos are funny.

Well, I think they're funny.

Of course, he could be a 'Beano' spokesman. I almost bought some Beano just because I think it's funny.

If you go back really far with the flashback, he could be a 'Billy Beer' spokesman.

Warren Piece · Oct 24, 2008

dgale1981 said:
Hi there - i'm writing a comedy piece based in America but i live in the UK. Our hero is a z list celebrity and I want him to have some sponsorship deals with cheap/bad brands.

We had written him as having deals with eating a dominos pizza, shaving with a gilette razor and foam, and wearing Adidas sportswear.. but this doesnt ring true with his status. he wouldnt get these deals.

As i'm not a US citizen I dont know what are examples of bad brands where it would be funny for him to be associated to. (our small brands in the UK probably dont translate across).

Any funny examples would be great!!! Like a budget grocery chain, or food products that are cheap?

Thanks guys!!!!

Have him doing those low budget TV ads for Grand Openings of Dollar stores (these are places cheapskates and poor people shop. Everything costs a dollar) Also throw in some TV ads for used car dealerships. Have him working as an actor in those Renaissance fairs as well.

Suzanne Stroh · Oct 27, 2008

Worst Enviro Record in US

Pipes, pipe fittings and valves from McWane, an Alabama company trying to rebuild its public image after several investigative news reports called them the worst polluters in America with an even worse record endandering workers. This would be a subtle but clever sponsorship. Cheers, S

Need bad US brand names for my script

dgale1981

Bufty

Where have the last ten years gone?

alleycat

Still around

dpaterso

Also in our Discord and IRC chat channels

dgale1981

dgale1981

kayg

Lyra Jean

Two years old now.

icerose

Lost in School Work

zeprosnepsid

tspenn

Joe270

Warren Piece

Suzanne Stroh