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Another MG Novel - Fantasy/Mystery

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C.J. Rockwell

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I need a beta-reader for my MG novel. It's about a crocodile detective named Crocodile Flint who solves mysteries involving characters from fairy tales. I posted a couple chapters on SYW months ago thinking it was one of five chapter books. I was wrong. At first, when I tried making a novel of these five overblown short stories, I thought it was too long.

But I realized it's only a few thousand words less than Gabriel (Another novel I've been working on).

Gabriel as it stands now as a bit over 44,000 words. Crocodile Flint is about 40,000 words, so I realized it can be a novel after all.

I need to know if this story has a gripping start, if my characters are well-rounded, especially my antagonist, and if the story is a fun read. I also need to know if there are areas where my word choices should be simplified. When I write I try to pick words that mean point-blank what I'm trying to say, but I often pick words that my potential audience (9-12) might have trouble with.

It's past the first draft stage, and if you could provide feedback on the query letter as well it'd be most helpful.

If you'd like a preview click here. Please note that I've changed the beginning and I no longer consider it chapter book material.
 
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