Argggh

KansasWriter · Sep 3, 2008

I can't seem to get this sentence the way I want it:

"Our beginning on that sunny day was considerably easier than those for workers in the past."

It should be something like "than that of" no?

Arrgggghhh...

KW

Ms Hollands · Sep 3, 2008

Could you not just switch a couple of the words around?

"Our beginning on that sunny day was considerably easier than for those ~~for~~ workers in the past."

alleycat · Sep 3, 2008

Without changing the sentence too much . . .

It was considerably easier for us beginning on that sunny day than it had been for workers in the past.

Maybe.

Bufty · Sep 3, 2008

I know what the sentence says, but I don't know what it means.

qwerty · Sep 3, 2008

Are trying to say just the beginning of the day was easier? Or do you mean the whole working thing was easier than it was for past workers?

Kris Ashton · Sep 3, 2008

Too much telling. I don't know the context or characters, but perhaps something like this:

The sun caressed our shoulders as we [did whatever your characters are doing]. My mind went out to the workers who had come before us, [then explain why they had it worse].

Phoebe H · Sep 3, 2008

To answer your question, yes.

'Those' is plural, but 'beginning' is singular.

So you should use 'that' instead.

But rewording would be good, too. You've got a passive construction going. I'd probably use a sentence that started "We began..." or "We started..."

Donkey · Sep 3, 2008

Kris Ashton said:
Too much telling. I don't know the context or characters, but perhaps something like this:

The sun caressed our shoulders as we [did whatever your characters are doing]. My mind went out to the workers who had come before us, [then explain why they had it worse].

I agree with Kris's idea. Break it up into two sentences. It will be easier to;
A) write it so that readers will understand the point you're making, and
B) show, not tell.

Appalachian Writer · Sep 3, 2008

On that sunny day, our beginning was considerably easier than for workers in the past.

If you insist on using *those*, the sentence should read: Our beginnings, on that sunny day, were considerably easier than those for workers in the past. Those refers to beginnings and to be consistant, since those is plural, beginnings must be plural. Now that that's settled, you require a plural verb "were."

Argggh

KansasWriter

Ms Hollands

Cow lover

alleycat

Still around

Bufty

Where have the last ten years gone?

qwerty

exiled Brit

Kris Ashton

Lurking in the Shadows

Phoebe H

Donkey

Appalachian Writer

Somewhere in the hills....