Does this sentence make sense?

SLThomas · Aug 16, 2008

I'm currently butting my head on a sentence.

Which one is better?

1) But I cannot shake a vague feeling of satisfaction of a job well done.

2) But I cannot shake a vague feeling of satisfaction for a job well done.

3) But I cannot shake a vague feeling of satisfaction of a well done job.

4) But I cannot shake a vague feeling of satisfaction for a well done job.

I hesitate between #2 and 4.

Thanks in adv.

regdog · Aug 16, 2008

I vote #4

dpaterso · Aug 16, 2008

"a job well done" is a familiar phrase so for me it's between 1) and 2) -- but "of satisfaction of" made my reading eye stumble for just a second -- so I'm voting 2)

...Not that you asked but wording sounds kinda formal or outdated to me -- and I'm having problems understanding why anyone would want to shake such a feeling, or why it would be vague -- but that's probably for another thread.

-Derek

Buddikins · Aug 16, 2008

2.... how bare my response is... sorry

SLThomas · Aug 16, 2008

dpaterso;2658817 ...Not that you asked but wording sounds kinda formal or outdated to me -- and I'm having problems understanding why anyone would want to shake such a feeling said:
Good!!

That's the feeling I'm looking for...The story is set in the past, so it should feel more formal!

SLThomas · Aug 16, 2008

Yeah, hence why the reason I asked for help: the double OF in #1 and #3.

Thanks y'all!

tehuti88 · Aug 16, 2008

I would go with number two.

If you choose to go with number four, I'd hyphenate it since "well done" is here an adjective--"But I cannot shake a vague feeling of satisfaction for a well-done job."

FennelGiraffe · Aug 16, 2008

#2

'job well done' is a common expression

I generally prefer 'satisfaction of', although in a few cases 'satisfaction for <verbing>' works.

Shamisen · Aug 16, 2008

I would go for #2 as well.

Sophia · Aug 16, 2008

# 2. Although I keep wanting to replace "But" with "Yet".

SLThomas · Aug 16, 2008

ElaraSophia;2659788 Although I keep wanting to replace "But" with "Yet". :)[/quote said:
Good idea! Thanks!

Symphony · Aug 17, 2008

I vote No 2. It's quite antiquated/traditional but probably only because it's out of context.

Jimmyboy1 · Aug 17, 2008

The "But" might be better as a "Yet".
One would have satisfaction "of" something, not "for" something.
imho
Jim

Seaclusion2 · Aug 17, 2008

#2, but I would also rather have 'yet' in place of 'but'.

Richard

RJK · Aug 18, 2008

I've heard "for a job well done" about a hundred thousand times in the military. It is a common phrase there, and is a familiar one in the rest of the english speaking world.

zegota · Aug 18, 2008

None of the above, in my opinion. As others have said, "a job well done" is cliche. You should replace or cut the phrase.

SLThomas · Aug 18, 2008

I did use #2, although I changed "But" with "Yet".
Maybe during revision I'll change the whole thing... We'll see.

Mods can close this thread, as I got my answer.
thanks for the advice!

S-L

dpaterso · Aug 19, 2008

Mods, close threads? Unheard of!

-Derek

Does this sentence make sense?

SLThomas

regdog

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dpaterso

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Buddikins

SLThomas

SLThomas

tehuti88

Mackinac Island Fanatic

FennelGiraffe

It's green they say

Shamisen

Mother of Pog!

Sophia

SLThomas

Symphony

Jimmyboy1

Seaclusion2

Extraneous Comma Slayer

RJK

Sheriff Bullwinkle the Poet says:

zegota

Fantastic!

SLThomas

dpaterso

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