who is the person you would most like to bump off in a story?

DL Hegel · Jul 30, 2008

or people you have bumped off--i axed my sisters ex-boyfriend(who was a woman beater and a creep) in STORIES at least 3 times--once using barbed wire and hungry tasmanian devils

Now whats yours?

slcboston · Jul 30, 2008

I have a bit character in my ongoing WIP that, as it's been worked on over the years (decades) has been revamped a few times to vicariously indulge in an extermination fantasy or two.

Starting with a high-school tormentor, and ending with this really snotty lady who got me fired from a tutoring position. (Nothing juicy, she was just the boss' wife and I didn't know it.... which sounds much worse than it was, I swear.

)

DL Hegel · Jul 30, 2008

slcboston said:
I have a bit character in my ongoing WIP that, as it's been worked on over the years (decades) has been revamped a few times to vicariously indulge in an extermination fantasy or two.

Starting with a high-school tormentor, and ending with this really snotty lady who got me fired from a tutoring position. (Nothing juicy, she was just the boss' wife and I didn't know it.... which sounds much worse than it was, I swear. )

good one Boston

DeleyanLee · Jul 30, 2008

The ex-husband is the obvious answer--but the real answer is the editor at the small press that published my book in 1999. That woman truly defines EVIL in my book.

I'm gender-bendering her in a MIP and making her into Jack the Ripper. It's really sweet.

Wolvel · Jul 30, 2008

The whiney one. Every story has one and they need to be bumped off.

DL Hegel · Jul 30, 2008

DeleyanLee said:
The ex-husband is the obvious answer--but the real answer is the editor at the small press that published my book in 1999. That woman truly defines EVIL in my book.

I'm gender-bendering her in a MIP and making her into Jack the Ripper. It's really sweet.

cool

JTR is always fun

DL Hegel · Jul 30, 2008

Wolvel said:
The whiney one. Every story has one and they need to be bumped off.

we have several of those around here

Kerr · Jul 30, 2008

I killed my ex. Well actuallly, he was dying already from cancer in the story when I saw the ghost of a girlfriend that I'd murdered, so I spoon fed him hot soup with a vengeance and left him shivering and wet. He was dead in the morning. Hehe! Sweet revenge.

joyce · Jul 30, 2008

In my very first novel, I killed off my ex-husband and an ex-girlfriend. They were nasty and mean to me (really, they were)

. Their deaths were pretty sadistic and sick. The girl got her nips burned off, along with some other horrid things and the man was ripped apart by a squirrel and a dog, while his face melted with an acid tainted pie. No wonder all my requests for partials and fulls were returned by agents stating my novel was too controversial. I felt good writing it though.

I have no hard feelings towards either one of them......no, I really don't.

Wolvel · Jul 30, 2008

Well I did kill off a bothersome character in one of my wips, only to have my MC break into hell to get her back.

III · Jul 30, 2008

That's easy - Bob Saget. Definitely Bob Saget.

Wolvel · Jul 30, 2008

III said:
That's easy - Bob Saget. Definitely Bob Saget.

Just becareful not to listen to his standup or he will kill you off first with sheer boredom.

Alpha Echo · Jul 30, 2008

DL Hegel said:
or people you have bumped off--i axed my sisters ex-boyfriend(who was a woman beater and a creep) in STORIES at least 3 times--once using barbed wire and hungry tasmanian devils

Now whats yours?

I don't write horror, but I have to say that you remind me of my little brother. He's only 18, but he is so protective of his sisters (all older than him at 27, 23, and 21)...he would probably not just write about killing the men who've done us wrong (and if he knew about some of my abusive relationships...) he'd try to literally go after them. Even now that I'm going through stuff with my husband...my brother has already sworn that if my husband leaves and he ever sees him again... yeah. I just think that is great.

DeeCaudill · Jul 30, 2008

I'd spare Bob Saget, but only for his wonderful version of the joke in The Aristocrats.

I killed off a character in my rough draft of my current WIP, and now she's become edgier (and more useful) in the current revision, so she gets a reprieve. I think that should be called the "Julianna Margulies" effect.

I'm all for killing off love interests of main characters--I hate writing romantic passages/dialogue any more than is necessary. Anger, loss, revenge...all so useful.

HoraceJames · Jul 30, 2008

It's not so much who, as how.

Inkdaub · Jul 31, 2008

I usually kill myself in stories. I'll be a murder victim or someone who vanishes or some such type thingy deal.

kct webber · Jul 31, 2008

I'd kill that Billy Maze guy from all those commercials. You know, the one who pops onto your TV without warning and SCREAMS at you about super, amazing, awesome, badly built crap for only four easy payments of $19.95.

But wait! There's more!

God, I hate that dude so much.

HoraceJames · Jul 31, 2008

kct webber said:
I'd kill that Billy Maze guy from all those commercials. You know, the one who pops onto your TV without warning and SCREAMS at you about super, amazing, awesome, badly built crap for only four easy payments of $19.95.

But wait! There's more!

God, I hate that dude so much.

How can you not like a guy with a beard that looks like it was painted in semi-gloss black Rustoleum?

DeleyanLee · Jul 31, 2008

Inkdaub said:
I usually kill myself in stories. I'll be a murder victim or someone who vanishes or some such type thingy deal.

Now, when friends say "I need a character to die--but I don't want to create someone I'll like", I always volunteer to be the model. Especially if it's a gross, gruesome death. If they shirk, I'll give them advice on the various ways to end my life.

It's very twisted fun. I've yet to have a writing friend who didn't get into the game.

Broadswordbabe · Jul 31, 2008

I didn't kill anyone yet...but I did have a particularly unpleasant and homophobic ex seduced. By a bloke.

Vengeance slash. It rocks.

Sassee · Jul 31, 2008

I may or may not have made my ex-fiance one of the villains that died an awesomely gurgling death at the end of my novel.

:Thumbs:

Kerr · Jul 31, 2008

101 WAYS TO KILL OFF THE DEAD HEAD CHEF

#1- Stuff haggis into his rotted, stinking maw.
#2- Pull off a duck-taped hand and beat him to a pulp with it.
#3-

Pike · Jul 31, 2008

Lets see... I've killed the lump sum of every child molester I've read about or saw in news broadcasts in my first novel. Had him running for his life and begging for mercy.

I've killed an obnoxious fellow employee and have plans to severely mistreat my mother in an upcoming book. Won't go into details but she deserves it.

Captain Howdy · Aug 1, 2008

My father - which is the entire point of writing Twisted Oaks. Move over Augusten Burroughs.

DL Hegel · Aug 1, 2008

Pike said:
Lets see... I've killed the lump sum of every child molester I've read about or saw in news broadcasts in my first novel. Had him running for his life and begging for mercy.

I've killed an obnoxious fellow employee and have plans to severely mistreat my mother in an upcoming book. Won't go into details but she deserves it.

very evil--i love it

Captain Howdy said:
My father - which is the entire point of writing Twisted Oaks. Move over Augusten Burroughs.

also evil

but i like it.

who is the person you would most like to bump off in a story?

Tigress Tyrant

Pasture-ized

Tigress Tyrant

Writing Anarchist

Write the Damn Book!

Tigress Tyrant

Tigress Tyrant

I vant to bite you

I'm really shy...

Write the Damn Book!

rockin the suburbs

Write the Damn Book!

I should be writing.

Nightmare Recycler

wrapped in plastic

Squirrel, Sekrit type, 1 ea.

Writing Anarchist

I'd rather be a cat.

Momma Wolf

I vant to bite you

Chivalry ain't dead

closer + prettier than ever

Tigress Tyrant