Fear of Public Speaking

I'm always reminded of the joke made by Jerry Seinfeld:

Public speaking is the number one fear for most people, death is second. That means that if most of us were at a funeral, we would rather be in the coffin than delivering the eulogy.

Think about it...what is the absolute worst thing that can happen?

Then look at our current politicians, who are alleged experts. Even they pull a gaff now and then, some more often than others...

There are people you thrive on public speaking/performance. I'm not one, but I do it, becasue it's necessary.

You must push yourself, else you will never get over the shyness -- or not for another 10-20 years... But can't afford to wait that long: everything hinges on delivery these days. If you can't speak effectively in public, you are limiting your chances of success.

Take some Drama Classes, challenge yourself to take part in any performance-based events.

Remember, your toughest judge is not another person, but yourself. If you change your mindset and start believing you can do it, you will do it.

Oh, and don't call it a 'Phobia'... you're tripping yourself before you even start...

I'm passionate about my writing so I can talk about that with no problems at all, even in front of large groups. I've mapped out what I want to say in the four or five scenarios I'm asked to give talks and I stick to the generality of my plans.

But if I had to give a talk on most other subjecs, especially not of my choosing, I'd find it very difficult. So I suggest work on a small spiel, like a blurb, to enthuse a single person about your work. Try it out, perfect it and feel comfortable with it. Then go a few steps further each time until you can meet all your talking needs.

Practice Makes Perfect
Up until I went to grad school I had trouble speaking in front of a crowd. I wasn’t shy, could converse with anyone sitting down but place the spot lot on me and I freeze. It didn’t matter if I knew what to say or I knew the people or love what I was talking about, I would freeze. Not to the point where I would break out in tears but I definitely had the bubble-guts (forgive me, butterflies). I would rush through the presentation without a clue to what I said.
When I went to grad school, no one told me I would have to present once a week in nearly every class –no one warned me that a substantial amount of my grade would be base on it. Otherwise I would have continued my life as a certified bum. The first (dozen) presentations were awful and goodness knows how anyone figure out what I was saying but because I had to do them continuously, I slowly became comfortable with presenting. I still get the bubble –er butterflies but it usually subside after a few minutes of talking.
These are some tips that I do when presenting:
It was important for me understand what I presented and not just memorize because whenever I pause to look at my notes, I would get fluster and lose my train of thought.
Make sure to use words you can pronounce so you won’t stumble over them (I’m Southern and have accent so when presenting to people who aren’t there’s always a huh moment when I say certain words even when I know/feel I’m pronouncing it correctly.)
Don’t be afraid to let your “voice” shine. I am easy-going person and view life that way so even when I’m discussing my bipolar client’s relapse I still tend to keep things pretty upbeat.
Go early.
Find an individual in the audience who looks friendly and revert back to them whenever you feel overwhelmed with people staring at you as if your naked with a pimple the size of Mt. Everest. These arethe only tips I can think of off the top of my head. Good Luck.

Hi darrtwish,

I remember the first time I did my first "official" speaking event. Here's what is really odd... I remember when I did it but, I can barely remember the manner in which I delivered it! I think I went into shock or something.

The title of my speech/presentation was called Dealing With Stress: Management Techniques and Coping Strategies.

Fortunately, it went well. I know this because after it was over, several people came to shake my hand and several people told me that public speaking was my forte.

I wish I could remember how I did it. lol

Sincerely,
Gehanna

I am terrified of public speaking. I took a class in college one semester, and I didn't do all that well. I havent' been in a situation since where i had to speak publically. I think if I were in a group setting...like hopefully one day when i get published and have to do a reading or something, it would be different. Different than standing up behind the microphone, speaking to a whole auditorium full of people.

One of the reasons I used to dread speaking is because I do not like the sound of my voice. This was until a friend reminded me that pretty much everyone I speak to has the same accent I do. I said, "Good point!"

Sincerely,
Gehanna

darrtwish said:

Does anyone else have this phobia? I'm terrified to even stand in a roomful of my classmates/peers and read anything, even out of a textbook. It gives me really bad panic attacks every time I think about it in those situations.

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Yes! I used to go out of my way to avoid speaking in public, much less deliver a presentation of some sort. I'm very introverted by nature and absolutely hate to be the center of attention (no birthday singing, surprises or hypnotism shows for me, please!)

But, Angelinity is right about how a lot in life is dependent upon delivery --job interviews, group discussions, and presentations to name a few. You have to find a way to get past the extreme discomfort. With practice you can get past the acute discomfort and even begin to have a bit of fun with it.

One thing that seemed to help me break past the deer-in-headlights-i've-forgotten-what-i-was-going-to-say feeling was delivering conference call presentations. It allowed me to focus on WHAT to say without worrying about how I looked or people staring at me. I got to play with voice inflection. After a while, it became fairly comfortable and I found that in-person presentations were less stressful and easier to deliver, as well.

But you've gotta do it to improve it. Have you investigated groups like Toastmasters? I've heard it's a very helpful group to join to develop these types of skills.

I second Melissa's recommendation of Toastmasters. I'm currently a member.

Some aspects of Toastmasters even makes it fun, which takes a lot/most of the intimidation factor away.

There's this:

http://encarta.msn.com/encnet/Features/Columns/?article=PublicSpeaking&GT1=27004

Overcoming a fear of public speaking is much like any other fear. The only way to move past it is by doing the very thing you fear, but starting in small steps. You don't have to stand up at a microphone in front of a large group of people. A presentation to your boss, speaking in church, proposing a toast at a dinner party: any of those things can be a start.

I highly recommend joining a group that will give you an opportunity to develop those skills. Toastmasters is one. There are other groups. Prehaps consider a civic group or social club.

I literally thought I was going to pee myself the first time. All those people who tell you picture them in their underwear? It's just bad advice.

It took some time to get more comfortable. I think the only cure is to do it a couple of times. It was never as bad as I thought.

Public Speaking

darrtwish said:

Does anyone else have this phobia? I'm terrified to even stand in a roomful of my classmates/peers and read anything, even out of a textbook. It gives me really bad panic attacks every time I think about it in those situations.

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Hi Darrtwish. I had this problem. My boss once asked me to make a short presentation to some visitor about my work. I wrote it all out and practiced in my room. I knew I was going to be petrified, and that I could not control the intonation in my voice, so I underlined all the words that needed emphasis. It was TERRIBLE. I must have sounded like some sort of crazed zombie robot! I'm pretty sure the visitor had no idea what I was trying to say. I felt as if the top of my head was going to explode. My boss enrolled me on a Dale Carnegie course called "How to Win Friends and Influence People" This was what sorted the problem for me. I learned how to get over my fear and now I ENJOY public speaking. The main trick is to get really enthusiastic about your subject, and as others have said, the more you do, the better you get. I would recommend the course. Haven't tried Toastmasters.

I'm terrified of public speaking. I used to be typically nervous about it, but a few years ago I was speaking to a group of people at a PTA meeting, and my mind went utterly blank. Everyone looked at me, and I froze. Someone stepped in to fill the silence, but ever since then I've had a huge fear of it happening again. And it HAS happened again, but only a handful of times. The problem is I'm always expecting it to happen, and it throws me something fierce. Sometimes when I need to phone someone I have to write the main points down beforehand for JUST IN CASE.

I honestly think if I ever got published and had to do interviews, I would have a drink or two first and/or tell the interviewer my fear and let us both just wait for the worst to happen.

Being on a panel at ComicCon is my worst nightmare. Srsly.

Most people, even extroverts, are terrified at the thought of public speaking. I was never extroverted and was most certainly terrified of public speaking.

I changed that by making a commitment to myself to become a good public speaker. I began volunteering at my job to take on presentation duties. Now I look forward to it.

I learned early on that nervousness is not a bad thing. I still get butterflies before I present...DAYS before I present. That's good. It makes me work harder to prepare.

I don't think people should be pushed to overcome a fear of public speaking. Who's to say that everyone has to strive to be outgoing? There is no sin in being reserved. I don't know about you, but I find reserved, thoughtful people are much more interesting than boisterous extroverts.

I've had to struggle through many speakers that were not as clever, funny or sophisticated at delivering their message as they thought they were... kind of like politicians. You get a politician or speaker worried more about delivery than content in front of a select group of smart people, and all you have is a sweaty, wiggly person looking for a hasty exit.

The advice to not force something that is not part of your nature seems reasonable.

I recommend taking an improv class. I've taken acting classes for years and I am not afraid to speak in front of people. I do get nervous, but being prepared eases it.

...Or you could do what I did, which was sign up for a year of teaching in a foreign country. No way out, no way home.

(Yes, I did it fairly well, and no, it didn't cure me permanently. I eventually got comfortable in front of my class, but I still get nervous even today. The difference is, now I know I CAN do it if I have to!)

Toastmasters International

Two acquaintences are members and though neither is a bring the house down speaker, they became good at giving both written and improvised speeches. (One used to throw up at the idea of speaking in front of anyone.)

Public speaking was my greatest feaf since my childhood. After I got published, it was required that I do readings etc. I didn't care for the idea but I did it.
I found that I could do it. The biggest help, I believe, is that in the intervening years I had intenself practiced yoga and meditation. That helped me to find a calm center in myself, and that;s where I stay when I have to speak.
Just this weekend I gave a reading in Germany, and it went well. And I had to give a whole round of lectures in Germany earlier this year; I still shudder a bit beforehand, but in the end it was a very positive experience.
What I do recommend is the book Be Heard Now, by Lee Glickstein; it is absolutely excellent and quite different from most other confidence-training books. I highly recommend it. I even went to one of their courses in Amsterdam; great!

Here is Lee's website: http://www.speakingcircles.com/index.html

Robert Toy said:

Think about it...what is the absolute worst thing that can happen?

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What's the worst that could happen?

My pants could fall down.
I could throw up ... again.
I could forget how to speak.
I could forget how to walk.
I could have a stroke and start babbling backwards in Latin.
I could accidentally call down a plague on the audience.

"What's the worst that could happen" is a terrible way to approach a fear. The whole problem with being afraid is that "the worst that could happen" is only limited by my imagination and the more imaginative I am, the worse "the worst" could be.

I'm very uncomfortable speaking in front of groups, but when I've had to do it, only two things have helped: passion and preparation. For one, I have to really feel strongly about what I'm going to speak about. Of course, I don't often have the opportunity to speak to people about something I don't care about, so that's not a big deal. The preparation is a bit harder. One of my big fears about public speaking is the fear of saying something stupid. The best solution for me is to know as much as I possibly can about the subject I'll be speaking about so that I can come to it with much more confidence. It's tough to know everything there is to know about a subject, but there's always a point where I know enough to worry less about being taken by surprise.

The other thing that I've learned is to not even acknowledge being shy or uncomfortable. Just put that in the "nobody's business" category and get on with the matter at hand. Even if you turn bright red from everyone looking at you, don't pay any attention (which is always tough for me, since I always feel like I'm about to catch on fire when I'm in front of a crowd).

There's nothing at all rational about the fear, but I find the less power I give it, the less of an effect it has.

My hands tremble slightly, but I never get so nervous that it impares my ability to speak in public. I find that doing impromtu speeches helps take your mind off the people because you're spending so much energy trying to come up with something good on the spot (but then, that's just me). Just last week I managed to pull 100% on a speech in speech class because I literally stood up in front of the class with no material and managed to pull a bullshit story out of nowhere about some old guy catching me in the act of picking a wedgie. Humor is the key to life

I am horrible at public speaking. I used to get a pass in High School because I was so nervous I could hardly speak. I'm sure that didn't help me any. But I've had situations where I've had to do it. I even gave a powerpoint presentation on Writing Techniques at my last job before an audience of 20 or more, plus phonecons.

Everyone said I did fine. They have no idea how nervous I was. I fiddled with all the toys at the podium. My voice probably shook. I know my heart was in my throat and there was this whoosh whoosh sound in my ears. I don't remember anything about it, like I blacked out.

Some people are naturals at public speaking, others, like me, have to struggle at it every single time.