What would turn you off most from this book?

Clair Dickson · Jul 5, 2008

I apologize if this is out of place. I'm quite curious though, about what would put my novel on the "You couldn't make me read this if you paid me" stack. I know that my book won't appeal to all audiences, but I wonder just which reasons are the BIG ones. (I have thick skin-- I'm just curious).

My Novel is (currently) titled "Sex and Violence." It's first person POV through the eyes of my female private eye, Bo Fexler. It's a mystery, but definetly not a cozy.

The things I think might turn people off are the following:
(One or more)
-- Bo is unusally attractive, very hot
-- She uses sex to get what she wants, particularly in her investigations
-- she is bitter, snarky, crude, and vulgar
-- She is more than willing to get into a fight or punch someone for things said
-- She is *outwardly* unashamed and unrepentent for how she acts

But then there are some mediating traits.
Do these affect anyone's opinion?

--While Bo is unusually attractive, she also has a severe speech impairment. She can't say R's at all and all the rest of her words are warped, with vowels all becoming dipthongs and most of her consonants coming out not-quite-right. People can't not notice it-- and some are cruel.

--Bo also is very intelligent. But people don't often see past her looks (and think ditz) or her speech impairment (and think retard). She would rather be known for her mind than her looks or speech.

--Bo may start fights or happily get into a physical altercation, but she certainly doesn't win them all. She's just as likely to lose as to win a fight. But that never stops her.

--She's rather alone, doesn't understand why anyone would want to be around her, and would give anything to understand how get along with people (without being phony.)

So, dear readers, what do you think? I'd pose this question on my blog, but the people there all LIKE Bo Fexler. =) Thanks for any feedback. I appreciate it-- seriously-- the good and the bad. I think of it as preparation for agent responses and public criticism when my novel does come out. (Someday soon, I hope!)

Beasley · Jul 5, 2008

Maybe I'm unusual, but nothing on there would turn me off as a reader. Actually based on the title of this thread I was expecting beaten kittens and baby brains (things that probably would turn me off).

Your main character sounds good, right mix of good and bad qualities. The only thing that threw me a little is the speech impediment, but only from a writing standpoint as to how that would come across on paper. I'm actually very sympathetic to characters with speech impediments, its one of those characteristics that usually garners my sympathies right away. So sounds good on paper to me.

Matera the Mad · Jul 5, 2008

Well, I'd have to say it's all in how you write her. She sounds kind of fun.

Euhh, why do you use an unreadable font for your blog?

Clair Dickson · Jul 5, 2008

Beasley-- I don't write her speech as it sounds to others. I might give a line or two to demonstrate, but thereafter her dialogue is written the same as anyone else's. It would get tedious otherwise.

Matera-- don't like the Courier, eh? I've never had any complaints on it, though I did recently learn that Arial and other sans serif fonts are generally considered better for oneline viewing. Hmm. I'll have to think that one over.

pretticute80 · Jul 5, 2008

Nothing about the bio you presented turned me off. I like the fact that you made her pretty and at home with her sexuality but still able to kick butt. Not to mention her speech problem. With it so apparent, it will bring her down a peg or two for being so beautiful

Scribhneoir · Jul 5, 2008

From the information you've provided the only thing that turns me off is her name. Bo Fexler just sounds too much like Bowflex. I'm afraid every time I'd read her name, it would come across as a product placement. Other than that, she sounds interesting.

Alon · Jul 5, 2008

I'm not turned off at all, either. In fact, I think the motif of someone who'd rather be known for her intelligence than for her looks is a very powerful one.

JeanneTGC · Jul 5, 2008

Nothing you've written here would turn me off.

However, that isn't what matters.

What WOULD turn me off? If, once I started reading, one of these became apparent:

1. The story is dull, boring, cannot grab and/or hold my attention
2. You're seemingly against proper spelling, punctuation, grammar, sentence structure, etc.
3. You're seemingly against editing
4. The story goes nowhere
5. You are unable to suspend disbelief, keep suspension of disbelief going, or offer one too many jumps requiring too much faith on the part of the reader
6. You 'ghost in the machine' your ending/situations so there's no real cleverness involved
7. I realize that your seemingly very original character is, in fact, based on someone else's truly original character, only thinly disguised
8. Any combination of the above
9. God help me, all of the above

I don't think any of these things can be determined by your descriptions of your character. From all you've told us about her, she sounds awesome and like a character I'd love to spend time with. Unless or until I were to look at the actual novel, I couldn't tell you what would turn me off. (I would hope nothing.

)

Dawnstorm · Jul 5, 2008

Clair Dickson said:
Beasley-- I don't write her speech as it sounds to others. I might give a line or two to demonstrate, but thereafter her dialogue is written the same as anyone else's. It would get tedious otherwise.

Interesting. I have the opposite intuition. I'll get used to her phonetically rendered speech impairment pretty soon, but if you don't render it phonetically, I'd maybe forget it's there and have trouble with other people's reaction to her speech (I might *know* they're reacting to her speech impairment, but it doesn't feel like it, because what's on the page looks perfectly normal). I'd definitely write it the way it sounds throughout the novel.

scheherazade · Jul 5, 2008

I think I'd only be annoyed if the character was portrayed as a caricature - "She was incredibly beautiful, super-genius, and all the men wanted her. But, alas, her warped consonants turned them all off the moment she spoke. So she tried to get as much out of them as she could without speaking." The subject matter doesn't turn me off, but if a writer tells me how beautiful and brilliant their character is, I usually expect a pretty wooden story.

Now, as long as you're showing me this more than telling me it (like, don't tell me how her luscious locks trickle down to her ample bosom; just show me the guys lining up to buy her drinks) then I'd keep reading. The more real she is - the more bitter, conniving, angsty - the more interesting she becomes, as long as you can temper that by showing her sensitivity. Does she chastise a studly man after sleeping with him, but then steal off with the dog he always kicks around? Does she protect children and the elderly? Maybe she breaks away from lending a sympathetic ear to a bartender friend so that she can coldly turn down a cocky potential suitor...

Kalyke · Jul 5, 2008

I don't really like the speech impediment angle, because it is like the author is trying to add a non-disfiguring handicap in order to make her more likable. I don't think I like or dislike people (or feel sorry, or not) because they have speech problems. That you don't use it in the dialog would make me forget about it. So people react to it by making fun of her or something? I would forget it, and think that people were just rude, thus her snarkiness is a result of the mean way people behave in your fictional world. If people are mean to her because they can't understand what she is saying it could be different. I don't know. Anyway, it seems complicated, and that one little problem seems more trouble than it is worth (my opinion, of course).

scribbler1382 · Jul 6, 2008

You seem to have some conflicting character traits there. She uses sex and her looks to get what she wants, but then she can't understand why anyone would want to be with her and she'd prefer being known for her intelligence than her looks. Nothing in the descriptions would turn me off, in themselves, but incongruities like this would.

C.M. Daniels · Jul 6, 2008

Right off the bat, the thing that bothers me most, her name.

Anything after that, so long as you don't write out her accent, is fair game.

Paichka · Jul 6, 2008

The only two things that would turn me off about this are her looks and her name. Bo Fexler just seems...eh. Odd. I like the name Bo, and I don't mind the name Fexler, but the combination is kind of like chocolate and brussel sprouts.

Also, the genre is FULL of sexy female badasses. I guess that's part of the appeal, so it wouldn't keep me from reading the book, but I also wouldn't think that it was particularly original. I'd much rather read about a girl who's wicked smart, and not superhumanly attractive, but who still manages to whoop the bad-guy's ass and get the guy at the end. I think I would also forget about the speech impediment unless it was consistently spelled out in her dialogue.

Other than that, I'd have to read the book before I could make any lasting judgements.

Linda Adams · Jul 6, 2008

If I were looking for a private detective novel about about a woman, I would pass over this one because Bo is more of a masculine name--there's an actor named Bo, and that's what popped into my head first thing.

Other than that, I'd really need to see what the story is about, because if the story doesn't work, the character doesn't matter.

Willowmound · Jul 6, 2008

Clair Dickson said:
The things I think might turn people off are the following:
(One or more)
-- Bo is unusally attractive, very hot

Why would that turn anyone off?

Clair Dickson said:
-- She uses sex to get what she wants, particularly in her investigations

Intriguing.

Clair Dickson said:
-- she is bitter, snarky, crude, and vulgar

Excellent.

Clair Dickson said:
-- She is more than willing to get into a fight or punch someone for things said

My type of gal.

Clair Dickson said:
-- She is *outwardly* unashamed and unrepentent for how she acts

I'm in love!

Clair Dickson said:
But then there are some mediating traits.
Do these affect anyone's opinion?

--While Bo is unusually attractive, she also has a severe speech impairment. She can't say R's at all and all the rest of her words are warped, with vowels all becoming dipthongs and most of her consonants coming out not-quite-right. People can't not notice it-- and some are cruel.

Ugh. Love just died.

Clair Dickson said:
--Bo also is very intelligent. But people don't often see past her looks (and think ditz) or her speech impairment (and think retard). She would rather be known for her mind than her looks or speech.

--Bo may start fights or happily get into a physical altercation, but she certainly doesn't win them all. She's just as likely to lose as to win a fight. But that never stops her.

--She's rather alone, doesn't understand why anyone would want to be around her, and would give anything to understand how get along with people (without being phony.)

So, dear readers, what do you think?

Well, she's interesting! Nothing here would make me not read the book.

Manderley · Jul 6, 2008

Bo seems fine (although I am a bit tired of the 'unusual attractive' characters after having seen one too many American tv show). What would stop me reading your book is the private eye mystery thing. Just not my cup of tea, you see.

Joycecwilliams · Jul 6, 2008

Scribhneoir said:
From the information you've provided the only thing that turns me off is her name. Bo Fexler just sounds too much like Bowflex. I'm afraid every time I'd read her name, it would come across as a product placement. Other than that, she sounds interesting.

I was going to make the same comment. So I will ditto this...

HeronW · Jul 6, 2008

Clair Dickson said:
I...My Novel is (currently) titled "Sex and Violence." It's first person POV through the eyes of my female private eye, Bo Fexler. It's a mystery, but definetly not a cozy.

The things I think might turn people off are the following:
(One or more)
-- Bo is unusally attractive, very hot
-- She uses sex to get what she wants, particularly in her investigations
-- she is bitter, snarky, crude, and vulgar
-- She is more than willing to get into a fight or punch someone for things said
-- She is *outwardly* unashamed and unrepentent for how she acts

This feels positive to me--Bo has good and bad points, & like a peacock--lovely til she opens her mouth.

Sounds like the speech problem could be related to a hearing issue--if not physical then the way she processes sounds--though that could affect eveything she hears.

I don't know how you did her dialogue to reflect her communication, that may be a bit difficult to transmit if you do her dialect the way she sounds. A little unusual accent goes along way. This could also be noticed by those around her.

I'd be interested in reading more about this person.

Joycecwilliams · Jul 6, 2008

The things I think might turn people off are the following:

(One or more)
-- Bo is unusally attractive, very hot

This okay, but not too original.

-- She uses sex to get what she wants, particularly in her investigations

Does she sleep with the bad guys?

-- she is bitter, snarky, crude, and vulgar

I like this.

-- She is more than willing to get into a fight or punch someone for things said

This seems to contradict her intelligence...

-- She is *outwardly* unashamed and unrepentent for how she acts

I think she should be secure inwardly and outwardly. If she really held to her beliefs.

shelboselby · Jul 6, 2008

Wouldn't bother me. As long as she owns what she does, it seems perfectly acceptable. I think you've done a great job of keeping her from being one-sided and fake. She's got dimension to her...she's not all sexpot. I think it'd be great.

Phaeal · Jul 6, 2008

My only problem would be with the speech impediment. As others have noted, if it disappears from the dialogue entirely, I'm likely to forget about it or at least forget how severe it is.

Tough call for you: risk the invisibility of a crucial trait or figure out how to render Bo's garbled speech throughout the book without making the reader cringe as much as Bo's conversation mates.

dwellerofthedeep · Jul 6, 2008

I agree with what others have said about the speech impediment. I think it could easily be tiresome and frustrating.

However, as long as the character is consistent I think a good handling of the speech impediment could work and the rest would too.

MelodyO · Jul 6, 2008

I can only speak for myself of course - but if I picked up a book off the shelf and found out the MC was tragically hot and talked like Elmer Fudd...I would put the book back on the shelf. I find super-beautiful women in books (and movies) to be boring, and as far as physical handicaps go, a speech impediment isn't quite as usable as, let's say, House's limp for garnering sympathy and furthering character development. However, I am all about the sexy, snarky, socially awkward part. Those have always been the traits of my favourite characters.

Seif · Jul 6, 2008

I wouldn't read it on account of the title: 'Sex and Violence' so reeks of attention grabber and sensationalising and the description of your MC just confirms that.

Tone everything down unless your going for a comedy.

What would turn you off most from this book?

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