Awkward silences

meldy · Jul 5, 2008

How do I express awkward silences in prose without coming across as clunky and, well, awkward.

I am at a point where my MC is in the midst of a conversation with another teen and asks about another person this friend knew only to find out that person has died.

To which my MC replies with an "Oh."

How do I express the awkward silence that follows such a statement?

This sounds like it should be so simple, I have no idea why I am struggling with it so much that it has actually stalled me right out *bangs head on wall*

Roger J Carlson · Jul 5, 2008

How about magnifying some background sound, a sound you ordinarily wouldn't hear except for the sudden silence. Maybe like a mantle clock ticking, tick...tick...tick, until the MC breaks the silence with a rush of words.

Sage · Jul 5, 2008

You can say "An awkward silence followed this."

Or you can describe things that are happening during the awkward silence. People looking uncomfortable, things the MC noticed during the silence, maybe follow it up with one of them (or something else) "finally breaking the silence"

mscelina · Jul 5, 2008

I make my characters shift or shuffle or move uneasily while the room remains silent. My current MC is the kind that when such a silence descends upon the room, takes the opportunity to notice other things around her--the carpet, the curtains, the troop of enemy soldiers sneaking over the battlements--anything other than commenting internally as an 'awkward silence fell over the room.'

Pachydermia · Jul 14, 2008

you could hone in on the reactions that follow the awkward silence.
for example:
err, yeah- Bartholomew died last week.
oh.
Wallace bit his lip, and became suddenly interested in the crack in the floor. MC number 2 fiddled with his keychain with callused fingers and scuffed a black boot on the tiles, wondering distractedly why he didn't have a name.

or something to that effect.
:/

Weatherly

Awkward silences

meldy

Instant humanJust add coffee

Roger J Carlson

Moderator In Name Only

Sage

Our Lady of Parentheticals

mscelina

Teh doommobile, drivin' rite by you

Pachydermia