Agents tell me to revise.... What should I do then?

mirrorkisses · Jun 23, 2008

So my novel was originally written about people in their early twenties, although it has a very YA voice because I've really honed it.
I was at a writers' conference this weekend and several agents told me to change it to teens and they'd look at it.

SOOOOOOOO

There are a lot of situations that happen in bars, or when the girl is drunk (two drunk scenes). I figure I can keep one drunk scene, but I don't want this to be gratuitous.

Another thing is that it's about bands and the punk/indie music scene. So the bands are usually in clubs.

Lastly, there is a whole chapter about the girl driving home to visit her parents and little sister in another town and her reminiscing about her teen years.

Any ideas how I can tweak these scenes so they work for a YA audience?

oh, and btw, it's great that I'm modifying it to YA, because now I only have 52 pages left to write in my revision! (The first draft is done, just need to revise.)

donut · Jun 23, 2008

I don't have specific suggestions, but you might want to check out a book called Polly, about a teen girl in the punk scene. Not the greatest book in the world, but might give you a sense of how you can place a teenager in that milieu. (There's plenty of clubbing, drinking, and barhopping in the book, if I recall).

mscelina · Jun 23, 2008

Revise. If more than one agent tells you this, revise. period.

Then, with "I met you at such-and-such conference and you advised me to revise this to YA" in your query letter, submit to them and let them know you followed their advice.

mirrorkisses · Jun 23, 2008

mscelina said:
Revise. If more than one agent tells you this, revise. period.

Then, with "I met you at such-and-such conference and you advised me to revise this to YA" in your query letter, submit to them and let them know you followed their advice.

I am revising. I was asking how I could handle certain situations.

mirrorkisses · Jun 23, 2008

donut said:
I don't have specific suggestions, but you might want to check out a book called Polly, about a teen girl in the punk scene. Not the greatest book in the world, but might give you a sense of how you can place a teenager in that milieu. (There's plenty of clubbing, drinking, and barhopping in the book, if I recall).

oooh thanks! I looked at it on amazon and this could really help me out!

Momento Mori · Jun 24, 2008

mirrorkisses:
There are a lot of situations that happen in bars, or when the girl is drunk (two drunk scenes). I figure I can keep one drunk scene, but I don't want this to be gratuitous.

Another thing is that it's about bands and the punk/indie music scene. So the bands are usually in clubs.

Lastly, there is a whole chapter about the girl driving home to visit her parents and little sister in another town and her reminiscing about her teen years.

Any ideas how I can tweak these scenes so they work for a YA audience?

Personally, I'd keep the scenes as they are. In London, teens as young as 14 go into bars and clubs, get drunk, snog boys etc etc etc. If you bring your protagonists age down to 16/17 I don't think anyone's going to have a problem because everyone's going to know about fake ID.

With the reminiscing scene, just have her do it about when she was a child.

MM

bethany · Jun 24, 2008

Also try Nick and Norah's Infinite Playlist, lots of clubbing (they get into clubs because Norah's dad is a record label executive).

ETA- they're making a movie, of this one, too.

mirrorkisses · Jun 24, 2008

Well, I wasn't a big fan of Nick and Nora. I know a lot of kids were, but I guess I was expecting it to be something it wasn't and was disappointed. I've made my narrator an intern DJ so she is able to get into clubs that way.

dolores haze · Jun 24, 2008

All ages shows are pretty common in the music scene.

timewaster · Jun 24, 2008

Momento Mori said:
Personally, I'd keep the scenes as they are. In London, teens as young as 14 go into bars and clubs, get drunk, snog boys etc etc etc. If you bring your protagonists age down to 16/17 I don't think anyone's going to have a problem because everyone's going to know about fake ID.

With the reminiscing scene, just have her do it about when she was a child.

MM

I agree, though underage drinking may be more difficult to achieve if you have to be 21? If you make your protags around 16 those antics would probably be acceptable in a teen novel in the UK.

mirrorkisses · Jun 24, 2008

dolores haze said:
All ages shows are pretty common in the music scene.

True, but I think there's a certain time where they won't let underagers in? Like after 12:00am or something? Maybe that varies according to the town's curfew.

This story is set in Austin, Texas, so the whole UK thing is out. I figure most of the drinking is going to have to take place at private parties.

dolores haze · Jun 24, 2008

I did a lot of the stuff your MC does when I was younger.

We did our drinking before shows, smuggled in flasks and tippled in the bathrooms, got older people to share their drinks, etc. It WAS in the UK, where things were easier.

LeslieH · Jun 24, 2008

Some clubs allow underagers in, but they stamp their hands or make them wear bracelets to identify them as underage and not allowed to buy alcohol. Or maybe it's the over-21s who wear the bracelets. That would make more sense since it would be so easy to cut one off. Anyway, it's been awhile, but that's how I remember it being done when I went to college in Texas a few years back.

You could call a few 6th Street establishments and just ask them if and how it's done in Austin.

Angela_785 · Jun 24, 2008

Why not have a concert in the park and it be a underage venue, so no drinking (well, officially, that is--we all know that's just a pipe dream). Or it could be at a rave in some out of the way place where cops are unlikely to find out about it (but may or may not depending on what happens in your story)?

Agents tell me to revise.... What should I do then?

mirrorkisses

donut

fame-seeking floozy

mscelina

Teh doommobile, drivin' rite by you

mirrorkisses

mirrorkisses

Momento Mori

Tired and Disillusioned

bethany

:)

mirrorkisses

dolores haze

international guttersnipe

timewaster

present

mirrorkisses

dolores haze

international guttersnipe

LeslieH

Angela_785