keeping it natural

hmmm.... I also suffer from this in my fantasy worlds. But I read a lot of it, and get a sense for it. I try and write my first draft with straight dialog (of course, my dialog is so bad on the first go round, I know it will change drastically in the second, after I have a better feel for my characters.) Try and keep that in mind. Just don't go overboard. Try just a word or two, don't go crazy.

Or - the other end of the spectrum - go crazy and put in all your little heart desires and fix it on the rewrite. You might find by the end of your first draft you have a better feel for it. And again, you should be reading your genre, and see how much other writers are using. Slang certainly shows up in fantasy, usually around the religions of the story (ie: praise the enclave, praise the Great Lady). For sci fi it might be around the technology (galloping golgomites) or the alien species (falloping goigomites might work for aliens, too.)

I tried to adapt a medieval style dialogue to make it sound different from our own. I did find it hard for many of the religious based expressions. On the edit I found sentances like "thank heavens", "oh god" and the like. It didn't take much to change them and leave the rest as it were...

Things always work better on the second go. For my characters that have exotic mannerisms or accents, I just write the gist of what they said the first time, and then I comb through it with a thesaurus and an extra window leading to wiktionary for the more difficult words.

Yep in the second draft might be the best way to - purely because you'll have a more intimate sense of both your world and characters by the time you've finished. Then you can replace the slang with something that fits both.

The religious expressions were the easiest for me - they crop up more often than you'd think, but I'm not christian, so I don't use the same expressions as most other people IRL anyway. So find a nice inventive way to say the equivelant of 'Go to hell!' or 'God help me' or whatever, and Bob's the relative of your choice.

Most of my characters' say one thing - and then I have a guy who really, really loathes the gods - he says something a little different....

Contemplate your world and the people in it, and try and find expressions that would fit.

keekum said:

hey everyone! so i'm working on a story that takes place in an imagined world, and i'm having trouble making the dialogue sound... natural. [...] am i alone in this struggle? any suggestions for how to keep things natural?

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Fictional dialogue is naturally unnatural. It's meant to entertain and maintain interest, whereas real dialogue is meant to influence or communicate.

I think that perhaps what you want is dialogue that is engaging and credible, which isn't the same at all. Here's are suggestions to help...

• Start with extraordinary characters. Ordinary characters don't have much of interest to say.
• Put the characters into conflict with one another. Give them something to argue over before they talk. If there's no conflict, don't write it as dialogue. Give each a goal before they start the dialogue. Put those goals into jeapordy.
• Put the characters into conflict with themselves. This allows you to let them reveal hidden stuff in moments of stress.
• Avoid cliche. It puts readers to sleep.
• Be indirect. E.g. rather than asking "Would you like some more tea?" have them ask "Want a splash more brown in your china?" This lets you find a distinctive voice without the need for lots of slang.
• Be colourful. Use simile, metapahor, hyperbole
• Put conflict into every line of dialogue. Don't have them talk about the weather unless they're arguing whether to put out to sea.

Hope that helps.

keekum said:

hey everyone! so i'm working on a story that takes place in an imagined world, and i'm having trouble making the dialogue sound... natural. i suppose i'm just always so conscious of avoiding slang and idioms from our world that i have trouble letting it flow, and sometimes i feel like my characterization suffers as a result. i could invent new slang, but i think it would feel forced, and since it wouldn't come naturally for me it'd still break the flow. am i alone in this struggle? any suggestions for how to keep things natural?

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When you understand your characters well enough that you can carry on a conversation with them in your head, and they sound like themselves instead of you, then you can write what they say.

Sometimes invented slang, given the right sounds and all that, can add intimacy to your world. It can also come off as cheesy or forced, so I feel your pain.

I've kept a few, kicked a few words to the curb. Consistency helps.

MargueriteMing said:

When you understand your characters well enough that you can carry on a conversation with them in your head, and they sound like themselves instead of you, then you can write what they say.

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In a similar vein I have my characters write letters to me as an author. I get them to write about their history, their motives, how they feel about things. I generally get them to write at just the point in their lives where the plot commences. I note what things they know about themselves, what things they don't. As well as helping me find their voice, it also helps me nail down their relationships, goals, conflicts and internal tensions.

Ruv Draba said:

In a similar vein I have my characters write letters to me as an author. I get them to write about their history, their motives, how they feel about things. I generally get them to write at just the point in their lives where the plot commences. I note what things they know about themselves, what things they don't. As well as helping me find their voice, it also helps me nail down their relationships, goals, conflicts and internal tensions.

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That's very interesting! I'll have to try that.

Currently, if I'm having trouble getting to know a character, I'll write a brief dialog between myself and them in one or two settings:

At the office.
At a baseball game.
Mother's house for Thanksgiving dinner.
Wingman/Wingwoman at the bar.

That last one has produced some particularly hilarious and revealing results.

efkelley said:

That's very interesting! I'll have to try that.

Currently, if I'm having trouble getting to know a character, I'll write a brief dialog between myself and them in one or two settings:

At the office.
At a baseball game.
Mother's house for Thanksgiving dinner.
Wingman/Wingwoman at the bar.

That last one has produced some particularly hilarious and revealing results.

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That seems a little forced, to me, I'm more informal. I'll talk to them in my head when I'm walking around. Like, if I go to the grocery store, I'll ask them what they like to eat, and why. What they think of that guy, or that woman with her kid, or kids in general. I'll observe how they speak (or change it if I don't like it, *I'm* the one in charge, in case you think I'm nuts), whether they are observant, whether they speak their mind, are they funny, or dumb, or get tongue tied around a pretty woman, etc). It's seeing your character in the normal world that will give you the best feel for who they are as a person. Then write down your observations, so you don't forget.

After a bit, compare your character sketches to each other. If all your characters are similar in some ways, then probably those similarities reflect what you think, rather than what they think. Fix it, so each is their own person.

Force is the key!

If you want to see the extremes of a creature's behavior, take it out of its environment and force it into unfamiliar territory.

For my part, a lot of my characters start out as archetypes. I need them to evolve from that point, so putting something of an 'evolutionary imperative' on them is very useful to me in figuring out who they are.

Yeah- don't worry about slang in your first draft; it will make you crazy.
In later drafts, substitute slang that reflects the concerns and taboos of the society you've created.

For instance, not every culture has the same problem with bodily functions that modern Western society does. Medieval and Renaissance Europe were considerably more relaxed about it, and far more wary of blasphemy - "damned" was much less of a mild expletive, and far more of a theological term...