A Life of Crime and Chocolate

Zelenka - what HJ said!

I'm not sure if I am sick or not! Got a funny throat and a runny dose. hmph.

Rehearsals tonight. Not sure if I want to go, what with the throat and der dose.

Shakesbear said:

Got a funny throat...

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Sad.

My first thought was: Is your throat "funny, ha-ha" or "funny, strange".

Sometimes, I don't even understand my own weirdness.

I just started practicing using the Dragon NaturallySpeaking speech to text dictating software. I have to admit this premium version 11.5, is way better than the version 1.0 or 2.0 that I tried 13 or 14 years ago.

The most awkward thing is getting used to just saying what I want to type. It is odd because I am constantly thinking while typing and for some reason I can't think about other things while I'm speaking the way I can when I'm typing.

I'm sure as I get used to it I'll have fewer pauses. But for now it seems like I'm just staring at the screen thinking of something to say as opposed to thinking about other things while my fingers click over the keyboard.

heyjude said:

I absolutely categorically 100% refuse to allow it. /stern voice

Did that work?

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Sadly it did not work. My throat sniggered at you. Bad throat.

DocBrown said:

Sad.

My first thought was: Is your throat "funny, ha-ha" or "funny, strange".

Sometimes, I don't even understand my own weirdness.

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I asked my throat and it was uncooperative and croaked at me to stop my intrusive questioning!

I did not go to rehearsals tonight. Director was really sympathetic. He would be - he wants some more writing from me.

Throat has been told. Guess what? It poked its' tongue out.

Still waiting for director to send writing direction.

Woke up this morning craving chocolate, which means I must be getting over the cold.

Two days off now, to recover from last night's tour from hell. Trainee guide turned up at the Old Town Square and announced he was coming to 'observe' the tour, but by observe he meant interrupt every two sentences to add random facts he knew, question my vocabulary in a really condescending way, argue with the facts despite knowing knaff all, and tell people strange things about himself, like the fact he was wearing thermal pyjamas under his clothes.

At the end of the tour my two customers told me I must have the patience of a saint as they'd've killed him ten minutes in. Haven't told the boss as I don't like telling tales but I might mention it, in a jokey, oh guess what happened the other day, sort of way next time I see her in person. Because there is no way he is following me on any other tour ever.

Well, I'm bored to tears. Husband has gone out with our daughter and I'm all alone and I don't feel like reading.

Now what?

Zelenka, tell more about Horrible Trainee Guide In The Old Town Square. Sounds like the beginnings of a good murder mystery...

heyjude said:

Speaking of, mccardey, if you're bored, why aren't you writing?

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I dunno, Jude - Perhaps it's just because I finished the outline and it's not quite time to start the wordage yet. I'm all at sixes and sevens because I know when I do start to write it, I'm not going to want to be interupted even by something as glorious as *going to live in France.

But I'm a little bit worried that it might be that now I've finished the outline I've kind of done all the things that I write for. I've explored the theme and come to an understanding about it. So I'm kind of - finished.

I hope it's not that *gulp* .

Of course it could just be my innate and unswerving laziness...

mccardey said:

Well, I'm bored to tears. Husband has gone out with our daughter and I'm all alone and I don't feel like reading.

Now what?

Zelenka, tell more about Horrible Trainee Guide In The Old Town Square. Sounds like the beginnings of a good murder mystery...

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Oh, there is much to tell! He turned up just out of the blue, no one knew him, as he's only just joined the company I think, so both me and the cashier tried to sell him a ticket. Then I had two Irish people on the tour, a young couple, who I got on really well with, very similar sense of humour, and we were discussing a lot of stuff to do with back home. Whether that was what annoyed him so he started to show off, I don't know.

Started off just interrupting with kind of odd comments, like I'd be talking about Rudolf II and he'd mutter things like 'Rudolf II, the insane emperor' or other stupid things like that. Then it went onto interrupting to ask about word choice. I was saying I couldn't really comment on the Strahov Holy Beer because I'm teetotal, and he cut in to ask if I would really use a word like that, because it's something they say 'back home' to make fun of people and it's really old fashioned. Both myself and the Irish couple told him it's fairly common, but he wouldn't let it drop.

Then he started adding his own stuff, interrupting me to just blurt out some random fact, usually incorrect, about something he'd seen. Usually not the thing we were actually talking about and several times I told him, a bit sharply, 'that actually has no bearing on the tour'.

And then he starts with the 'do you know that, Jessica' to me, like as if to say 'you won't know that because I know more than you'. Again most of this stuff was bull. And I ignored most of it. I corrected him a few times but he would just go 'oh, well that's not what I heard'. So no point.

Oh, and on the tram up to Pohorelec, he tells us that Glasgow people speak a different language, and should not be allowed to teach English or have jobs where they have to do public speaking. Alright, so I'm not a Glaswegian, I just lived there, but he didn't know that.

Every time then that the couple asked me something he would butt in to answer first, usually incorrectly (he told them, for instance, that my boss is married to a Scottish person. She's not. A, he was American and of Irish descent, and B, she's not married to him any more).

At the end of the tour we finally got rid of him as he went to get the tram home, and the Irish couple actually said, 'you've been so patient, I'd've killed him.' Reason I think I should mention to the boss though is they also said he'd annoyed them all round the tour and that there's no way they'd ever go on a tour with him because he'd be too irritating, which he needs to be told if he's to do a good job.

So I woke up this morning, craving chocolate, and am off in a bit to the British Delicatessen to stock up. And I have booked myself a weekend in Bournemouth next month to the Sci Fi Ball convention. Just 'cause.

mccardey said:

I dunno, Jude - Perhaps it's just because I finished the outline and it's not quite time to start the wordage yet. I'm all at sixes and sevens because I know when I do start to write it, I'm not going to want to be interupted even by something as glorious as *going to live in France.

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Are you going to live in France, McCardey? Have you mentioned this before?

Seriously though, it might well be that you need to take a break, just to let the outline sit for a wee while and also get all your other stuff for the move out the way, then you can sit down and concentrate on it again. I have that when I outline, that kind of moment where it feels like you've reached the end, and it's almost like some of the energy has gone out of you, but after a while I always get the urge back again to write. I'm sure you will as well. ((hugs))

And in the meantime - FRANCE!!!!

Horrible man!

Here's the thing - what if he wasn't really a guide at all...? What if he was impersonating a guide? *cue spooky music*

mccardey said:

Horrible man!

Here's the thing - what if he wasn't really a guide at all...? What if he was impersonating a guide? *cue spooky music*

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Wasn't a very good impersonation then! Or, since we're technically a ghost tour... we might've arrived back at the Old Town Square to find that no one else had heard of him, but that a trainee guide of that name died in 1876 and never had the chance to do a tour..... *cue spooky music*

Zelenka said:

Seriously though, it might well be that you need to take a break, just to let the outline sit for a wee while and also get all your other stuff for the move out the way, then you can sit down and concentrate on it again. I have that when I outline, that kind of moment where it feels like you've reached the end, and it's almost like some of the energy has gone out of you, but after a while I always get the urge back again to write. I'm sure you will as well. ((hugs))

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Oh, that's lovely of you to say that. This is the first time I've ever outlined (the other two were 100% pantsed) and I was hoping that it's just a natural hiatus. I'm not panicking about it yet, but I'm hoping that when I go over my stimulus notes it comes flooding back.

Sorry, did you mention France? You did, didn't you... oh, - just a year. Nowhere special. Tiny little hilltop village in the South. Yes, the South of France. Provence, yes. Yes, a year. In Provence, yes.

Oh, just writing....

(it never gets old...)

Zelenka said:

Wasn't a very good impersonation then! Or, since we're technically a ghost tour... we might've arrived back at the Old Town Square to find that no one else had heard of him, but that a trainee guide of that name died in 1876 and never had the chance to do a tour..... *cue spooky music*

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And then you go back through the written records and find that that tour guide in 1876 had been really irritating and there was always the whisper of violence about his untimely demise and his body had never been found ...

We're on a roll, you and me... This could be big...!

Zelenka that is one rude and ignorant person! Sounds like you dealt with him really well.

heyjude said:

This is actually one of the reasons I don't outline (besides the aforementioned laziness ). Once I know whodunnit and why and how it turns out, I just don't care any more.

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I always think that planning is the same as deciding the route to take for a journey. Once the route is decided on the journey can then take place. The journey is the actual writing process of describing people and places, the how, where, who and why of the plot/story line.

Well, boss wants to meet to discuss the photos I took for the website, so I'll have a chance to mention it. Just realised anyway, we're route learning the Ghosts and Legends of the Old Town tour on Saturday and he'll be there, so that should be interesting.

McCardey, we are definitely onto a winner here!

Well, got a text today to say we had to go into the Old Town at 9.30 to have our official photos taken for the tour website. I got the photographer to sneak a pic on my own camera, so I could see just how bad it'd be...

http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v412/spaceweavil/300.jpg

Zelenka said:

Well, got a text today to say we had to go into the Old Town at 9.30 to have our official photos taken for the tour website. I got the photographer to sneak a pic on my own camera, so I could see just how bad it'd be...

http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v412/spaceweavil/300.jpg

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That is fabulous!!