The "I'm sorry" thread

Dylan_Perry · May 13, 2013

... don't worry about it. No one does.

I'm sorry that Wonder Woman tattoo you've dreamed of having looks like Hulk with flowing hair and boobs, but...

Jehhillenberg · May 13, 2013

...at least it's intimidating enough for others to think you're tough.

I'm sorry you drank what you thought was lemonade from that water bottle, but...

Defos · May 13, 2013

now we bottled and marketed it you better get drinking ... fast!

I'm sorry I keep missing pages but ...

captain_ryan · May 14, 2013

... that's the editor's problem, right?

I'm sorry your agent is losing all his hair because of you, but...

Robbert · May 14, 2013

...sending him a wig in the post was slightly over the top, don't you think?

I'm sorry to tell you I'm two-faced, but...

Defos · May 14, 2013

you would think you'd get beauty right with one of them ...

I'm sorry to tell you I went back in time and killed you so ...

JoBird · May 14, 2013

. . . them's the breaks, and you're just going to have to live with it.

I'm sorry you were the focus of my stand up comedy routine, but . . .

Liralen · May 14, 2013

it won't happen again, no one laughed -- and it seemed to put them off their dinners.

I'm sorry you're stuck with nothing in the house to eat but brown rice and prunes, but . . .

Defos · May 15, 2013

as my staple diet is rivita cardboard crackers and cabbage spread I think I will manage quite well tonight.

I'm sorry your perspective is is rather jaded but ...

JoBird · May 15, 2013

. . . from here it looks like at least eight inches to me.

I'm sorry I misled you about my skills in the bedroom, but . . .

Steve Coate · May 15, 2013

. . . at least it was over quickly.

I'm sorry about the gas leak, but . . .

Liralen · May 15, 2013

no, that is not considered part of your "skills in the bedroom."

I'm sorry your girlfriend thought you were using "consummate" as an adjective rather than the verb you intended, but . . .

bpreslar · May 15, 2013

. . .you should probably tell the consummate professional you hired from the casual encounters section of Craigslist to stay hidden inside her giant birthday cake.

I'm sorry that home body waxing kit didn't work out as well as you hoped but...

Liralen · May 15, 2013

that's really an interesting shade of red you've got going there on your skin . . .

I'm sorry someone put depilatory in your hair conditioner bottle, but . . .

Robbert · May 16, 2013

...shrugging it off because it's "all about hair anyway" is not a smart option.

I'm sorry all sorts of people keep telling you not to sleep under a bridge, but...

Defos · May 16, 2013

trolling on a forum won't knock you asleep

I'm sorry the band threw you out for being too loud but ...

Liralen · May 16, 2013

perhaps it would have been different if you'd been singing one of their songs -- and on key, with a discernible melody? And you hadn't been playing air guitar naked, pretending your dick was the whammy bar?

I'm sorry I used all the hot water washing the dishes before you got a chance to shower, but . . .

Jehhillenberg · May 16, 2013

...cold showers are actually beneficial for the skin; you'll have that youthful glow -- or so I've heard.

I'm sorry that F150 truck hit your bumper and took it with them, but...

Liralen · May 20, 2013

you don't really think they're going to get it repaired and bring it back, surely?

I'm sorry you didn't realize those stuffed habaneros had just come out of the deep fryer seconds before you popped one in your mouth, but . . .

Defos · May 20, 2013

I think now is the time to stop eating weird food and stick to fish and chips.

I'm sorry she stole your razor dad but ...

Jehhillenberg · May 21, 2013

...he was too sharp of a man, anyway. Good riddance.

I'm sorry for the bad sunburn and your limited movement as a result, but...

Liralen · May 21, 2013

while you were asleep I had an idea: did you notice the cool silhouettes on your skin? Especially the tic-tac-toe board on your back? While you're immobile, you can still be useful if you'll lay on your belly and let the kids play beanbag tic-tac-toe games.

I'm sorry you stubbed your toe on the bedframe when you got up to answer the door at 3 a.m. but . . .

Komnena · May 23, 2013

but maybe you should reconsider that exercise bar on the bedframe.
I'm sorry about that iron mask you're forced to wear but

Nymtoc · May 23, 2013

...your brother, the King, ordered it, and you wouldn't want to create bad feelings in the family by complaining about it, would you?

I'm sorry no one likes your cooking, but...

Liralen · May 23, 2013

the alligators in the moat are well fed.

I'm sorry someone left your cake out in the rain, but . . .

The "I'm sorry" thread

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Practical experience FTW

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In Honor of Peter Tomich,USS Utah

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