Stupid things non-writers say

onesecondglance · Apr 30, 2013

Damn! Why didn't I think of that?

:roll:

sassandgroove · Apr 30, 2013

CJ Knightrey said:
Thank god for this thread because I need a place to vent where people actually understand the frustration.

I was sitting in my livingroom writing when my sister came in and asked what I was doing. I told her writing. She asked writing what, and I told her, the same book you asked me about last month. This is how the rest of the conversation went (keep in mind she is 14, but still bothers the hell out of me):

Her: Still? You've been working on that book for three months already and you're not done?
Me: I've made decent progress... And besides, a lot goes into it. It takes time.
Her: Not really. You have an idea and you just write it down. If you know what it's about it shouldn't take long.
Me: Oh ya? Why don't you write a book then? If it's so easy and it doesn't take long?
Her: I don't want to. If I wanted to I'd be finished in a month tops. You're the one who likes writing. You do all this stupid planning and stuff that you don't need to do. Just start writing.
Me: Some people can do that, I can't. I outline. And I AM writing right now.
Her: Whatever. *rolls eyes in a very dismissive and belittling way*

I don't know if I'm just being sensitive but it reeeeeeally bothered me.

It's hard to let that stuff go but she is showing her ignorance. Look at it that way. Ask her about something she's passionate about then ask if it is so easy anyone can do it. If she isn't passionate about anything, then there's her problem.

Nawlins said:
OMG. What I can't stand is this far-too-frequent scenario:
Me, seated at keyboard, focused on screen as my fingers fly over the keyboard.
Family member- pick any one of 'em: Wow, it sure is [cold/hot/raining/blowing/sunny/dark/?] out there! I thought I'd [freeze/melt/drown/fly away!
Me, not looking up: huh.
FM: Yeah, I'm glad that's over. What's for dinner?
Me, not looking up, fingers flying: hmph.
FM, in some confusion: Are you busy?

I wish folks would realize that, if you're writing, part of the job is THINKING. I had ds walk in while I was focusing on nothing, off in my fictional town, working out a scene.
Son: blah blah blah
Me: (no response, typing)
Son, 'innocently': Oh, are you busy?
Me: Yes. I was, in fact, working.
Son:I kinda figured that b/c you looked like Sheldon and Raj when they were working in Sheldon's office on a physics problem.
Me, stifling eye roll: I have no response to that.
Son: Fair enough. (exits)

maybe you have done this and they are ignoring you but have you told them not to bother you when you are writing? ALso delegate things like dinner. When I was a teen my mom had me cook on alternating nights, do dishes, clean the bathrooms and do my own laundry.

Nawlins · Apr 30, 2013

sassandgroove said:
maybe you have done this and they are ignoring you but have you told them not to bother you when you are writing? ALso delegate things like dinner. When I was a teen my mom had me cook on alternating nights, do dishes, clean the bathrooms and do my own laundry.

Oh, but yes! My guys are going to be highly desirable hubbies - they look good but they can also cook, clean, do laundry, and maintain the lawn - and they DO.

They're really good guys, but they get an idea and BAM. No thought, just run with it! It's partly their ADD, which is why I tend to ignore them. Gives 'em time to wonder why I'm not responding and figure it out. Damned frustrating, though.

LKSebastian · May 8, 2013

Last time I was home, my mother told me that I "should write something like 50 Shades of Gray" so I can make a lot of money.

Danalynn · May 8, 2013

LKSebastian said:
Last time I was home, my mother told me that I "should write something like 50 Shades of Gray" so I can make a lot of money.

LOL!

guttersquid · May 9, 2013

Outside on the back porch, smoking a cigarette and mentally tweaking that last paragraph. Flipping it on its head, rearranging the sentences, adding some and deleting others, trying to decide if I should use a door or the door, etc.

Wife comes out and says, "I thought you were writing."

Manuel Royal · May 10, 2013

angeluscado said:
Yesterday, @ work:

*after a short conversation about how long I've been writing, spurred on by a co-worker spotting my Alphasmart and asking about it*

Co-worker: What are you writing right now?
Me: A romance set in the 1920's.
Co-worker: Wow. Do you do all of your own research, too?
Me: Er... yes?

I considered joking that I get my hubby or my sister to do it, but this particular co-worker might have believed me.

Not a stupid question. You and I (or I, at least) can't afford it, but some bestselling authors hire grad students to do their research.

HLWampler · May 17, 2013

I could write a book of stupid things non-writers say.

Guy I knew way back when: Hey, you write!
Me: Uh huh
Guy from way back: I have an idea!
Me: Uh huh
Guy: We can write it!
Me: Uh huh

A few weeks later while I'm editing a WIP...
Guy: So when are we going to write that fictional novel? It will be a best seller!
Me: :Headbang:

robynmackenzie · May 18, 2013

Fortunately, the majority of people I hang out with are also writers, so I don't have much of these conversations anymore. Had 'em a lot in high school though!

Friend: Whatcha doing?
Me: Writing. It's frustrating though. My characters aren't cooperating.
Friend: .....what?
Me: They're not doing anything I want them to. They're just running around being idiots and it's totally taking the plot in a new direction and this guy wasn't supposed to be a main character but he kept begging me so I finally made him a main character and now he's not telling me anything.
Friend: *uncomfortably* Ha! Ha! You're so funny, talking about them like they're real people!
Me: THEY ARE REAL PEOPLE SHUTUP >:[

Or the ever-famous talks with friends where they go on and on about the book they're "writing," which means they have an idea but haven't written a word of it yet, and then they want you to help them brainstorm/outline and don't understand that you really want to be working on your own book that you actually have some chapters for already...

Quantum1019 · May 28, 2013

I had an interesting conversation today.

"So you're a writer?"
"Yup."
"So you're gonna, like, write a book?"
"I've written several books."
"How many?"
"Well so far, three novels of mine are out and about twenty stories in books I shared with other writers."
"Then how come I've never heard of you?"
"You probably haven't heard of most writers."
"I've heard of all the good ones."
"Okay, name ten writers working today."
"Steven King, the Harry Potter lady, Shakespeare..."
"Shakespeare's dead."
"Oh yeah. Ummm..."
"See what I mean?"
"You know what you should do?"
"What?"
"You should talk to a famous writer and tell them you want to co-write a book with them. Then you'll be rich."
"It doesn't work that way. Most writers aren't rich, most writers aren't famous, but I'm happy with what I've done so far and I don't need to change direction!"
"Okay, then you should write a book about the Mafia. Everybody likes books about the Mafia."

Caroline · May 31, 2013

My day job involves corporate-type writing, with deadlines. I can't tell you the number of coworkers who have stopped by my desk to say something to the effect of "wow, so you just write all day? I couldn't do that. And deadlines, too! I couldn't do that either.". One of these days im going to go stand by their desks and list reasons I wouldn't want their jobs.

Racey · Jun 2, 2013

I had an article published in a mag at Uni this month and brought it home to show my housemate.

Me: "Hey have a read of this article I wrote. It got published!"
Friend: "Oh. What did you write that for?"
Me: :Wha:

Silverrosess · Jun 3, 2013

"Your a writer? You have NO life."
And, this one is from my father...
"You don't seem interested anymore. Was writing just a phase?"
Oh my god, this...
I WAS IN SCHOOL! I had no TIME and I was writing on the bus every day. Arggghhh ><

Axordil · Jun 4, 2013

Caroline said:
My day job involves corporate-type writing, with deadlines. I can't tell you the number of coworkers who have stopped by my desk to say something to the effect of "wow, so you just write all day? I couldn't do that. And deadlines, too! I couldn't do that either.". One of these days im going to go stand by their desks and list reasons I wouldn't want their jobs.

I'd prefer them to the co-workers--coders, usually--who think they CAN write and whose attempts I have to edit.

Myrealana · Jun 4, 2013

Nawlins said:
OMG. What I can't stand is this far-too-frequent scenario:
Me, seated at keyboard, focused on screen as my fingers fly over the keyboard.
Family member- pick any one of 'em: Wow, it sure is [cold/hot/raining/blowing/sunny/dark/?] out there! I thought I'd [freeze/melt/drown/fly away!
Me, not looking up: huh.
FM: Yeah, I'm glad that's over. What's for dinner?
Me, not looking up, fingers flying: hmph.
FM, in some confusion: Are you busy?

Oh, no kidding. I often wear noise cancelling headphones when I'm writing - but with nothing plugged in to them. It's just my signal to LEAVE ME THE F#@( ALONE I'M WRITING - because yelling that at your 10-year-old when he tries to tell out about Minecraft for the billionth time in a day is discouraged.

JulianneQJohnson · Jun 4, 2013

I have a somewhat different problem. My fiancé is super supportive and encouraging. He's read the book I'm querying right now and even helped me fix one part that was broken. He loves the book. He thinks it's going to make tons of money. I've tried to explain to him that it really doesn't work that way, but he doesn't really understand.

Tayson · Jun 4, 2013

JulianneQJohnson said:
I have a somewhat different problem. My fiancé is super supportive and encouraging. He's read the book I'm querying right now and even helped me fix one part that was broken. He loves the book. He thinks it's going to make tons of money. I've tried to explain to him that it really doesn't work that way, but he doesn't really understand.

Mine's the same. We've lived with this manuscript for two years and she's read every version and claims to love it and thinks it'll be a movie and all this craziness. She also tells me "You get so upset when you're writing." No, love, I just get upset when you try to talk to me while I'm writing.

Flashback to last weekend when I tell my folks that my novel is finally polished and just needs a few beta readers before I start to query, but that I'm worried it's too long (still 120k words, cut down from a 167k first draft).

Dad: "Good books are always long."

Kitty27 · Jun 4, 2013

It has become obvious to me that my friends and family have no damns to give about my instructions.

I always say do NOT call me during writing time unless Tupac has revealed himself to be alive,aliens have touched down or Idris Elba is at my front door.

I settle in,candles burning,novel soundtrack playing and ready to blaze a word count the likes of which would stun my peers into envious silence!

I start writing and yes,the phone rings. They ask what am I doing,talk about Love&Hip Hop Atlanta, and a thousand other things, while I sit there fuming :Soapbox:

I have come thisclose to using foul language. I am not a writer who can tolerate interruptions. They totally destroy my flow and there is no worse feeling for a writer than to have the words ready,but unable to put them down.

A friend of mine told me to just write erotica,because it has made so much money and Zane is very popular. I tell her that writers tend to have very specific genres that we focus on and we just cannot turn the switch to a genre we have no interest in. She said,"Well,get over it and just write some sex."

My mother read some of my horror novels and has suggested that I need to attend church and be anointed, as I am quite touched in the head.

DragonLady · Jun 4, 2013

I had a relative ask me some time back, when it was obvious that this 'whole writing thing' wasn't just a phase, "So, shouldn't you be considering getting a real job? I mean, this whole writing thing doesn't seem to be getting you anywhere..."

:headdesk:

I have since gotten myself 'a real job'. At the local library. Where I am surrounded by books and inspiration, and people who are avid readers.

OJCade · Jun 4, 2013

Turn the phone off, then. Turn it back on when you're done. That's what I do when faced with the "Let me call you because you're at home and writing and therefore not doing anything that can't be put away to cater to my interruptions".

NikiK · Jun 4, 2013

"Would you mind doing something for me? You're not really doing anything, anyway."

kyocrisis · Jun 4, 2013

Back when I started my WIP, I posted a status on facebook....

Me: Just started working on my first novel, pretty excited!
Person: Reading or writing?

Bear in mind, I had a college English class with this person a few years ago...

JRehnay · Jun 4, 2013

kyocrisis said:
Back when I started my WIP, I posted a status on facebook....

Me: Just started working on my first novel, pretty excited!
Person: Reading or writing?

Bear in mind, I had a college English class with this person a few years ago...

LOL.

My favorite, from a conversation with a friend:

Friend: "Why can't you just write it all?"
Me: "What do you mean?"
F: "You know the story. Just write it all down. Why is it taking so long?"
M: "Well...it doesn't work like that. I have to craft every single sentence and I mean, sometimes I'm not sure how to get my characters from point A to point--"
F: "'Craft every sentence?' Don't people skim over a lot of that stuff?"
M: "They...what? No?"
F: "Yes they do. You don't read EVERY SINGLE SENTENCE in a book!"
M: "...Omg."

NikiK · Jun 4, 2013

JRehnay said:
LOL.

F: "Yes they do. You don't read EVERY SINGLE SENTENCE in a book!"
M: "...Omg."

You mean I've been doing it wrong all these years? :Wha:

JustinlDew · Jun 4, 2013

NikiK said:
You mean I've been doing it wrong all these years?

Apparently I have too.

Stupid things non-writers say

pretending to be awake

Sassy haircut

NEVER give up!!!!

I agree with Roxxsmom.

practical experience, FTW

practical experience, FTW

figuring it all out

Is this thing on?

I aim to misbehave

Ferret Herder

So Goth That I Was Born Black

I am Queen of all I see. Heed me!

Einherjar

My cats don't let me sleep.

Shortest Query Winner.