Is v. Was - when the latter looks weird

MarkEsq · May 17, 2013

I'm writing in the past tense but when describing something that's essentially eternal, it looks weird. Specifically:

[FONT=&quot]Austin occupied the heart of Texas, a liberal mecca and an oasis of compassion, weirdness, and whimsy in a state where executions barely made the news and climate change meant nothing more than a short spring followed by another baking hot summer.

[/FONT](Yeah yeah, first draft, that's not the point.) So the tone is pretty light-hearted, for now, but saying "Austin occupied..." reads weirdly to me. But if I change it to "Austin occupies..." that messes up the tense for the rest of the paragraph.

Am I worrying unnecessarily?

Bufty · May 17, 2013

Worrying unnecessarily about what? I've no idea what you wish to convey in that opening sentence.

Decide which tense you want to use in the sentence and use it.

Chase · May 17, 2013

MarkEsq said:
Austin occupied the heart of Texas, a liberal mecca and an oasis of compassion, weirdness, and whimsy in a state where executions barely made the news and climate change meant nothing more than a short spring followed by another baking hot summer.

Am I worrying unnecessarily?

In my opinion (brace yourself for those angrily opposed) your worries about tense are unnecessary. Although Austin will most likely exist in the future, the tense is in the past of the storyteller's narration. In other words, the author is telling it from a future point where the city as it was is in the past.

As for the long one-sentence paragraph, one problem is a misplaced modifier much like I found a dollar walking home. It has Texas the mecca, not Austin. I'm sure you'll hear about other problems.

blacbird · May 17, 2013

Yes. It's not hard to find examples in the writing of any number of important writers using the technique of present tense to describe an existing situation, within the context of a past-tense narrative. John Steinbeck, in his classic comic novel Cannery Row, does this at the very beginning with a concept exactly analogous to yours:

Cannery Row in Monterey in California is a poem, a stink, a grating noise, a quality of light, a tone, a habit, a nostalgia, a dream.

The actual story narrative of Cannery Row is in past tense.

Steinbeck went on to win a Nobel in Literature. Cannery Row is one of his finest works.

Worry thyself no longer, Grasshopper.

caw

Chase · May 17, 2013

blacbird said:
Worry thyself no longer, Grasshopper.

. . . other than what birds do to grasshoppers. Just kidding. Blacbird is spot on with Steinbeck's example. On the other hand, Stephen King sticks to past tense beginning Under the Dome:

From two thousand feet, where Claudette Sanders was taking a flying lesson, the town of Chester's Mills gleamed in the morning light like something freshly made and just set down.

Looks like you can choose which style looks best to you.

MarkEsq · May 17, 2013

See, you guys are awesome. I'll worry no more, thank you.

BethS · May 17, 2013

MarkEsq said:
I'm writing in the past tense but when describing something that's essentially eternal, it looks weird. Specifically:

[FONT=&quot]Austin occupied the heart of Texas, a liberal mecca and an oasis of compassion, weirdness, and whimsy in a state where executions barely made the news and climate change meant nothing more than a short spring followed by another baking hot summer.[/FONT]

(Yeah yeah, first draft, that's not the point.) So the tone is pretty light-hearted, for now, but saying "Austin occupied..." reads weirdly to me. But if I change it to "Austin occupies..." that messes up the tense for the rest of the paragraph.

Am I worrying unnecessarily?

Without context, it's a little hard to tell, but it's usually accepted to go to present tense to talk about something fixed or universal. Just read the opening sentence to Pride and Prejudice.

Is v. Was - when the latter looks weird

MarkEsq

Clever title pending.

Bufty

Where have the last ten years gone?

Chase

It Takes All of Us to End Racism

blacbird

Chase

It Takes All of Us to End Racism

MarkEsq

Clever title pending.

BethS