Character description

StevenHarvey1990 said:

Just wanted to gauge people's opinion on the following:

Character description on spec?

I have written a character description with the specific aphorism...

"Flame haired vixen"

I have read that the above is a no-no as it would limit casting but this is a spec script. I have to paint a picture surely? The characters must be visually different as well as behaviorally distinguishable?

The above is nothing but visceral encouragement during reading, which, I believe SHOULD be present in a spec.

A shooting draft is different of course.

How does everyone feel on this subject? Yay or nay?

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I wouldn't go with "flame-haired vixen" for a slew of reasons, but 'because it'd limit casting' isn't one of them.

Yes, you can/should describe your characters in a script. Not so extensively it looks like you're nuts (Bonnie, 32, an Aries, born on XX/XX/XX, with a waning moon, 4'11 1/2", only owns two pairs of heels but mostly wears flats, chestnut hair cut in a bob with long bangs swept to the left, pink lipstick, just the shade of...') but so as to paint a picture, sure.

StevenHarvey1990 said:

I don't mean to be annoying but why not flame haired vixen? I'd love to know the slew of reasons. Only to make me better.

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Heh, because it sounds like a comic book or like a 14-year-old boy wrote it?

A character might be 'Bonnie, mid-20s, redhead, overtly sexual' or whatever. "Flame-haired vixen," says far more about the writer than the character. I don't know any adults who'd describe someone like that when simply describing them.

If you have a frat-boy-type character who was talking dreamily about some girl he met, he might say that; if you had someone talking derisively about the character in question, I could see saying 'she thinks she's some sort of/she wants you to think of her as a flame-haired vixen' but a basic character description leans more toward the answer to 'how will I spot her in the coffee shop?'

"Bonnie? She's mid-20s, red hair, tall, dresses like she thinks Victoria's Secret is that it's all outerwear."

As opposed to -

"Bonnie?" She's the flame-haired vixen."

StevenHarvey1990 said:

Thanks. I completely appreciate the feedback. My thinking behind it was, I can convey an overt sex appeal and her red hair in three words. It was succinct in my mind.

To me it was that "Flame-haired vixen" made you picture something, or someone so it fulfilled its purpose as a descriptive technique. I hope you get what I mean here. Short and sweet.

I wasn't really asking if it is acceptable to describe a character, but more "Can I be THAT specific?" ie. a Redhead.

Like I said I am grateful for the response, and I am definitely not trying to put you down or pick holes in what you're saying.

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I get it - and I only expanded because you asked.

There's no particular need to save words (as long as you're not on about ridiculousness as in astrological sign example), and I think 'red head, overtly sexual' conveys it similarly.

It's your thing, you can say whatever, and yes, you can and should describe characters no one knows about (I presume this is a pilot). From my perspective, well, as above, heh. You or anyone else can certainly disagree with my feelings about the particular descriptor.

I don't have a problem with that description... although I expect it to apply to someone like "HENCHWOMAN #2, a flame-haired vixen, draws her pistol" or similar action movie B-character.

StevenHarvey1990 said:

I have read that the above is a no-no as it would limit casting but this is a spec script. I have to paint a picture surely? The characters must be visually different as well as behaviorally distinguishable?

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Yup, agreed, pictures are good. I think it boils down to what's needed for the character.

Snippet of character description from Lethal Weapon (or one of the versions floating around the internet, anyway):

INTO the inner sanctum of a penthouse apartment, and here,
boys and girls, is where we lose our breath, because --
spread-eagled on a sumptuous designer sofa lies the single
most beautiful GIRL in the city. Blonde hair. A satin
nightgown that positively glows.

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At first glance it seems gratuitous, but I don't think it is, it's painting a picture of this tragic character moments before she jumps off the balcony.

Contrast with the more functional, yet still "visual" despite the lack of specific physical details, lines:

And here comes Captain of Detectives
ED MURPHY, moving like an after-breakfast juggernaut.
Behind him, a young woman rushes to keep up. The POLICE
PSYCHOLOGIST, no less.

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-Derek

The specific term 'flame haired vixen' - to me is a specific image. A cliche' if you will. Nothing wrong with that - It just tells the reader that you're writing in cliche's. They'll draw their own conclusions from it. Good or bad.

Being specific in character description - has it's place. Obviously if a particular character trait is essential to the storyline, you include it. Is the character a seven foot tall albino? Does he NEED to be? Can the same role be played by a five foot tall woman?

I recently completed a noir film play. Edgy, controversial, dark, twisted stuff. As I was sketching in each character, I completely avoided a description of race, or age. I admit, this is the first time I've done this. And I found it liberating. Sure, I had a vision in my mind of how each character looked. And I described them as they appeared. But I found that the description of their appearance, imparted character.

SAM BOLDWIN drains the remains in one gulp. He rubs his greying temples and reaches for the prescription bottle by the nightstand. (This role could be played by a man in his forties through fifties. All that is required as stated later in the script, is that "He's in great shape, for a man his age".)

Later, at the convenience store, he meets

YOUNG GIRL standing next to him. She has Disney eyes and filthy hair. She wears mis-matched pajama top and bottoms. (I've had readers see her as young as 5 or as old as 9)

(We learn her NAME the first time she speaks. Because that's when it's needed)

THE MOM - it's unclear if the hot Mom is wearing anything under the old coat. If she is, it's an awfully short skirt. (She's in that 'ageless' phase. Could be 18... could be 28)


Later in the script, Sam says to a character "Hell, she's half my age" about the mom. Also, it appears as if 'she's too young to have born that child'... which makes us wonder HOW old she is... and if she's the mother.

Even later, when the bad guys show up, I describe some of them by appearance only. "THE BEARD" "FAT BOY" and so on. Because that makes them HAVE an appearance in the reader's mind, but their names aren't ever needed or heard.

I've sent it to some producer's and directors, the feedback is consistently positive on these choices. "I love how it's multi-racial" says one. "I love how you've got this whole white trash thing going" says another. The point is, THEY cast the actors in their mind's eye. I gave the characters, CHARACTER.

Give the description needed for your character. Don't worry about casting. If they get the interest of X actor and your script says "redhead", they'll just ignore the redhead part, that's all.

They're not going to say, "Oh, we can't do this script because it calls for a redheaded actress and X actress is not a redhead, therefore, even though she is interested, we'll have to tell her she can't do it."

That's not the way it happens. What happens is, guess what? You character no longer has red hair. Ravine haired vixen? I really have no problem with it. Would I do it differently? I would. But that's me. But the story or script is not going to rise or fall over it.

cornflake said:

"Bonnie? She's mid-20s, red hair, tall, dresses like she thinks Victoria's Secret is that it's all outerwear."

As opposed to -

"Bonnie?" She's the flame-haired vixen."

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Ignore whomever said it's a No-no. As for the above examples, I think the first example is ridiculously verbose. Apparently, I'm not familiar with "flame-haired vixen" being cliché, but it's definitely succinct in word usage. Succinct = great. Cliché = not so much. Unnecessary verbosity = not so much.