Happy Christmas!

Happy Holidays!

Welcome to the AbsoluteWrite Water Cooler! Please read The Newbie Guide To Absolute Write

editing for authors ad

A publisher or agency using Google ads to solicit your novel probably isn't anyone you want to write for.


Go Back   Absolute Write Water Cooler > Pop Culture > PoC
Register FAQ Calendar Mark Forums Read

Reply
 
Thread Tools Display Modes
Old 01-25-2013, 05:23 AM   #26
Kim Fierce
Attack me with everything you have.
 
Kim Fierce's Avatar
 
Join Date: Apr 2011
Location: Indiana
Posts: 1,366
Kim Fierce is a splendid one to beholdKim Fierce is a splendid one to beholdKim Fierce is a splendid one to behold
I really wasn't trying to say your story was like that movie, it was just something that came to mind, meaning a PoC who talked to animals which wasn't looked down upon (even though I know the original character was white.)

If your MC lives in one of those urbanized areas it could be very interesting as well as possibly enlighten people and go against the safari park stereotypes. I have an editor who lives in South Africa, so I think there could really be an interest in something that promotes the continent in a positive way.
__________________
Watch No Turning Back book trailer

My Web Site
Novels/Short stories:
No Turning Back
Amelia's Revolution
Two-Spirit's Red Road
My Secret Pain
The Divide, Book 1: Uprising

Nadine's Voyage--2-14!!
The Divide, Book 2: Unity--3-14!!
Strong Arrow's Warpath--4-14!!
Revolt of the Perfectly Free, paperback short story collection--6-14!!
Kim Fierce is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 01-26-2013, 04:03 AM   #27
little_e
Trust: that most precious coin.
 
little_e's Avatar
 
Join Date: Mar 2012
Location: USA
Posts: 2,598
little_e has a double-platinum reputationlittle_e has a double-platinum reputationlittle_e has a double-platinum reputationlittle_e has a double-platinum reputationlittle_e has a double-platinum reputationlittle_e has a double-platinum reputationlittle_e has a double-platinum reputation
I know koalas are actually vicious. But they *look* cute, and that's what makes it funny.

I ruined a friend's day, once, by telling her that Koalas are vicious.
...she doesn't talk to me anymore. These things are actually probably related.

I have a friend from Africa. (His parents moved to the US, but he has grandparents/extended family over there and visits them occasionally.) He's white.

Edit: just remembered another friend of mine actually lives in Africa, South Sudan, in fact. Old friend from childhood I managed to find on FB but haven't really caught up with, yet. She's kind of busy doing whatever it is she's up to. She's posted some gorgeous pictures of coastal resorts (obviously not in S.Sudan) and reports that--Uganda, I think--had better street-signage than London. She also happens to be white.

The world is a great big crazy mixed up interesting place.

Last edited by little_e; 01-26-2013 at 04:11 AM.
little_e is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 01-26-2013, 04:57 AM   #28
frankiebrown
Simplify.
 
frankiebrown's Avatar
 
Join Date: Apr 2012
Location: Georgia
Posts: 962
frankiebrown has earned our admirationfrankiebrown has earned our admirationfrankiebrown has earned our admirationfrankiebrown has earned our admiration
I don't see why it'd be a problem. She's in a zoo and she can talk to animals; it makes sense to me that she'd feel a connection with the animals that are from her homeland and want to free them.
__________________
"To a worm in horseradish, the world is horseradish."
Blog last updated 12/7: On Pacing
on twitter: @frankiebrown25
Debut novel: UNTIL WE END Bloomsbury Spark, Dec '13. Represented by JL Stermer.
frankiebrown is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 01-26-2013, 09:36 PM   #29
Jcomp
"Upgrade your gray matter"- Deltron
 
Jcomp's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jan 2006
Posts: 5,176
Jcomp is so great that we've run out of appropriate complimentsJcomp is so great that we've run out of appropriate complimentsJcomp is so great that we've run out of appropriate complimentsJcomp is so great that we've run out of appropriate complimentsJcomp is so great that we've run out of appropriate complimentsJcomp is so great that we've run out of appropriate complimentsJcomp is so great that we've run out of appropriate complimentsJcomp is so great that we've run out of appropriate complimentsJcomp is so great that we've run out of appropriate complimentsJcomp is so great that we've run out of appropriate complimentsJcomp is so great that we've run out of appropriate compliments
Quote:
Originally Posted by Rachel Udin View Post
Dr. Doolittle originally starred a white guy and the main character wasn't evil in the adaptation. Plus he didn't come from Africa.

Whereas the character here talks to animals, but is evil AND attacks someone violently for saying they are color blind.
Well, to be fair, I don't think the way the OP describes the main character makes her "evil" at all. And the animal attack appears to be an accident, one in line with the "prank gone too far" trope common to horror.
__________________
Jcomp is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 01-28-2013, 10:35 AM   #30
AWriterBlocked
figuring it all out
 
Join Date: Jan 2013
Location: Dallas, Texas
Posts: 54
AWriterBlocked is on a distinguished road
I struggle with the book because it seems very race-based. If I strip it to bare bones, a black girls is taking revenge on the white people who have mistreated her and her loved ones.

(I'll let others comment on the adoption aspect.)

Truth of the matter, goodness and badness knows no color. There are good blacks and bad ones. There are good whites and bad ones.

Your story would work better if it wasn't black vs white. Open it up, make your characters of many races. Have some nice white folk and some bad black folk in it. And pepper it with a few other races and/or nationalities to ...
AWriterBlocked is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 04-09-2013, 04:49 PM   #31
Treehouseman
practical experience, FTW
 
Treehouseman's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jan 2013
Posts: 178
Treehouseman is on a distinguished road
Quote:
Originally Posted by little_e View Post
I know koalas are actually vicious. But they *look* cute, and that's what makes it funny.

I ruined a friend's day, once, by telling her that Koalas are vicious.
...she doesn't talk to me anymore. These things are actually probably related. .
I was bitten on the knee by a wild Koala when I was a teenager. The thing was like Cujo with claws.
__________________
Entering 10th Circle of Submission Hell
Repped by: Darhansoff & Verrill
Treehouseman is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 04-10-2013, 12:18 PM   #32
J.S.F.
Red fish, blue fish...
 
J.S.F.'s Avatar
 
Join Date: Jan 2012
Location: Osaka
Posts: 5,095
J.S.F. is so great that we've run out of appropriate complimentsJ.S.F. is so great that we've run out of appropriate complimentsJ.S.F. is so great that we've run out of appropriate complimentsJ.S.F. is so great that we've run out of appropriate complimentsJ.S.F. is so great that we've run out of appropriate complimentsJ.S.F. is so great that we've run out of appropriate complimentsJ.S.F. is so great that we've run out of appropriate complimentsJ.S.F. is so great that we've run out of appropriate complimentsJ.S.F. is so great that we've run out of appropriate complimentsJ.S.F. is so great that we've run out of appropriate complimentsJ.S.F. is so great that we've run out of appropriate compliments
Pandas are also pretty vicious. I watched Kung Fu Panda 1 and 2 and my eyes were opened. Just sayin'...

Okay, to be serious about all this, I have a problem with the portrayals in your proposed novel, OP. I'm your average white dude, and I can see the trope right away. Black girl, from Africa, connected to animals...I think you mean well, but by bringing in (however unwittingly) some stereotypes, you're setting yourself up for a beating by pretty much everyone who is not white. That's just how I see it.

While you want to break the story down into black and white i.e. clean cut characters (good student, racist students who get their comeuppance, best friend, etc.) it sounds like stereotyping at any level. This is something that should be reworked to avoid the tropes if at all possible.

The premise of your story sounds interesting. As a suggestion, why not have the girl gradually discover her powers, first with, say, a bear, then a zebra, then...and so on. Why not have just one animal break out and wreak havoc? Seems if you can build it up to a climax where the most fearsome animal of all--the koala--does a number on someone, then it might work out better. JMO...
J.S.F. is online now   Reply With Quote
Old 04-10-2013, 04:25 PM   #33
lolchemist
Shooting stars.
 
lolchemist's Avatar
 
Join Date: Mar 2012
Location: California
Posts: 1,334
lolchemist has earned our admirationlolchemist has earned our admirationlolchemist has earned our admirationlolchemist has earned our admiration
I agree with everyone who commented before me and also wanted to add that I realize you're trying to do a Carrie remake BUT you are treading dangerous ground by making EVERYONE WHITE a horrible person and EVERYONE BLACK a good person.

With Carrie we can root for her because there are no extra layers of discomfort about race, racism, poverty, the murder of a mother and the virtual kidnapping of a young child hanging over or heads let alone wild animals on the loose mauling bratty children.

One suggestion I would have for you would be to make your adopter parents black. Imagine an Omarosa-type villainess as the mother? Wouldn't it be delicious? And maybe every single damned classmate doesn't have to be white either, they can all be different races too since filthy rich people come in all races. They can still be mean to her and she can still be traumatized because of her crazy mom just like Carrie was, but it wont be so RACERACERACE shoved into our faces nonstop.
__________________

Current WIP (YA Contemporary) - Book 1: 32,958 of 90,000 X Book 2: 40,359 of 90,000
Current WIP (YA Fantasy) - Book 1: 68,055 of 75,000 x Book 2:
10,512 of 75,000
x Book 3:
09,962 of 75,000 x Book 4:
12,490 of 75,000
lolchemist is offline   Reply With Quote
Reply

Bookmarks

Thread Tools
Display Modes

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off

Forum Jump

Custom Search

If this site is helpful to you,
Please consider a voluntary subscription to defray ongoing expenses.

Buy Scrivener 2 for Mac OS X (Regular Licence)


All times are GMT +4.5. The time now is 03:34 AM.


Powered by vBulletin® Version 3.8.5
Copyright ©2000 - 2014, Jelsoft Enterprises Ltd.