Throwing in the towel after 9 years

Brynn · Jan 19, 2013

fadeaccompli said:
Hey, there's nothing wrong with being single. Some people are honestly happier that way, and more power to them. I would like to fight back against the meme that people not in romantic relationships are Lonely and Pining, because a lot of people in that situation aren't.

This is very true, and I agree that we sometimes place too much emphasis on romantic relationships. However, in my experience, single people also need to put effort into maintaining relationships--these relationships just happen to be with friends and family, not spouses. IMO, one can relatively easily be happily and healthily single, but it is more rare to be happy, healthy, and completely alone.

Even with that said, I don't have a problem with someone who decides to embrace a solitary lifestyle to pursue a goal. I would suggest seriously considering what BethS pointed out, aka, old age can be very lonely.

I do have a problem with someone who preaches the lone-wolf life to others (as it sounds Bukowski is doing, in declaring that Writers Must Do Thus). It is a rare personality that can find long-term happiness that way.

Flicka · Jan 19, 2013

fadeaccompli said:
Hey, there's nothing wrong with being single. Some people are honestly happier that way, and more power to them. I would like to fight back against the meme that people not in romantic relationships are Lonely and Pining, because a lot of people in that situation aren't.

Absolutely. I'm single and I'm neither Lonely nor Pining, but if I had a fiver for every time people have told me that I will die miserable at the end of a wasted life because of it, I'd be a rich woman.

BethS · Jan 19, 2013

@Brynn and @fadeaccompli,

I wasn't knocking being single. Look more closely at the remark I was responding to.

But-- I shouldn't have said anything. It's really not my business.

benluby · Jan 19, 2013

BethS said:
As long as you understand that one day you'll be a lonely old man who doesn't rate being anything to anyone.

I don't say that to be snarky. But life is a juggling routine. There's very little art or satisfaction in juggling just one ball. One's audience will eventually wander away, bored. One will be left alone and oh-so-dedicated to keeping that single ball in the air, but bereft of anything that actually matters.

Some don't measure their worth by what others think of them. They have their own sense of self worth and no need of belly rubs and idol worship from the world, as they are content.
Juggling one ball, as you phrase it, is significantly easier to do than juggling a handful, none for your own appeasement, but rather to satisfy other people.
So, the one ball juggler will probably be much happier.

Paul · Jan 19, 2013

kuatolives said:
So my (ex)literary agent called yesterday to terminate our relationship. After a year of failing to place a novel I'd written he finally decided to throw in the towel. I don't really blame him as I'd written off writing last year citing burnout and the general downward trajectory my life had taken since taking writing seriously.

The day I'd submitted that final draft of that particular novel to my agent, I was living in my friend's back room, hadn't worked in months, lost my girlfriend, and was probably drinking too much (probably still do lol). That state of affairs wasn't entirely related to writing, but writing definitely contributed to it as I tend to obsess over a task until complete to the exclusion of all other tasks, including living an acceptable lifestyle.

So, once I was represented and on submission, I forgot about writing and concentrated on getting my life back together. It was easy to do considering I had so many aspects of my life needing attention. And attend I did. Within the last year, I've earned a half million dollars through a re-constructed career, moved into a luxury condo with a fantastic downtown view, and started a new relationship. I even managed to squeeze a month of vactioning in Scotland during the Edinburgh summer festival. Because I had a novel on submission to publishers, it didn't matter to me that I wasn't writing anymore as 'things were in motion'; I was still tackling that particular problem. Anyday I could get that phone call. Then I got it ...

Click.

Half a million huh?

So, do you need a drinking buddy?

BethS · Jan 19, 2013

benluby said:
Some don't measure their worth by what others think of them. They have their own sense of self worth and no need of belly rubs and idol worship from the world, as they are content.

You are the third to draw different conclusions from what I intended. But I'm not going to try to explain my remarks, as that will probably only make things worse. I was wrong to say what I did. I have apologized to the person who has the most right to be offended. Let's please move on.

Rufus Coppertop · Jan 20, 2013

buzhidao said:
And if a couple years is all it takes for you to become a millionaire--that really isn't that long to put it off. You can always come back to writing.

I don't normally shout but....

THIS IS GOOD ADVICE!

RAL · Jan 23, 2013

what ever happened to the ex?

;-)

ral

Roger J Carlson · Jan 23, 2013

Lots of writers have day jobs. In fact, most beginners do. There's no reason you have to quit writing and submitting just because you have another career.

mccardey · Jan 23, 2013

Terie said:
Agents represent careers, not books.

Note to self: let's remember this....

Throwing in the towel after 9 years

Brynn

Flicka

Dull Old Person

BethS

benluby

practical experience, FTW

Paul

BethS

Rufus Coppertop

RAL

Roger J Carlson

Moderator In Name Only

mccardey