Things To Avoid

In part it depends on who your market is and the publishing guidelines. Do some research on various publishers and see what they say.

I've tried finding an article where the author talks about cliched terms for genetalia (men's and women's) but I can't seem to find it now.. It was things like "quivering member" and the such.

Here's a blog post on "Silly Sex":

http://www.likesbooks.com/sillysex.html


It's hard for me to say what I found cheesy... It's one of those things that I know it when I see it, but to pull it out of the blue.... Next time I find one I'll pay more attention and let you know.

It seems to me that effective sex scenes are written from the point of view of the participants, one or the other or both (or all). One would hope that they are too involved in what they are doing to be dreaming up exotic metaphors.

Google 'purple prose' and 'romance novels'.
Anything that you would snicker at while reading it is probably a good place to start.

But also remember, when you write ANY scene you should use terminology that that particular POV character would use. If your character would only call genitalia by their scientific name, then use the scientific names. If the character would simply use euphemisms, use euphemisms. Make everything in every scene sound natural to your characters regardless of type of scene.

concentrate on the emotional aspect of the scene. A love scene should propel the story, not just get the characters off--even when, and maybe especially when, the characters think they're just getting off. If you invent new names for body parts, you'll pull your reader out of the story. If you concentrate on the physical action to the exclusion of the emotional connection, it will be dry and boring. No one likes dry, boring sex.

And let's face it: a great sex/love scene elicits both an emotional and a physical response. You want your reader to want to have sex LIKE THAT. So, if you're bringing anything out of the vanilla ordinary into it, you need to make it relatable and enjoyable even for your vanilla readers, so you need that emotional connection, you need to clearly demonstrate how your character needs this sexual act to be fulfilled in that moment.

Good luck and have fun. Writing sexy scenes can be emotionally exhausting at times, and it is challenging in a different way from other writing, because even if it is absolutely expected in your genre, it needs to be relevant, not gratuitous.

Calle Jay said:

But also remember, when you write ANY scene you should use terminology that that particular POV character would use. If your character would only call genitalia by their scientific name, then use the scientific names. If the character would simply use euphemisms, use euphemisms. Make everything in every scene sound natural to your characters regardless of type of scene.

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YES!

Please, please, please make it a believable sex scene. I've read far too many books where two people hated each, they walked down the street, and five seconds later, out of the blue, they were getting it on and feeling some unbreakable connection.

My biggest advice is to MAKE IT BELIEVABLE. Otherwise, you'll turn me off and I won't keep reading the book. Their relationship should develop, and I think sex as a part of that emotional development is essential.

One of the editors from Entangled actually tweeted a whole bunch of tips regarding sexy scenes last night. I thought some were quite helpful.
You could search the hashtag #editortips
https://twitter.com/smoulderingsea