I can't even make sense of this one. What, exactly, are they promising to do for that $33? Send a form letter?
Publish America's Carousel of Magically Rotating Email Offers
- Thread starter Chris P
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As someone who has read A LOT of PA emails, this makes my head swim. At least the other ones promise something I can even visualize (even if my interpretation is naive, I can at least imagine something coming out of it). The only thing I can figure is they are going to write up a press release on all the new authors they have, and list my name among the others who've paid money.
I've done about three legitimate press releases for my job. What happens is a one-page release is drawn up, and the organization makes it available (sound familiar, PA veterans?) to the news agencies, including the AP, Reuters, TV networks, newspapers, etc. Just because it gets released does not mean the agency will distribute it or that any of the outlets will run the story. They get hundreds of releases every day, and pick and choose which ones they develop into stories, which ones they run as-is, and which they pass on completely. Sure, all these politicians read newspapers and watch TV, but how in the world does PA think simply having our name mentioned in front of these people is going to do any good? Think this through before sending money, folks.
I've done about three legitimate press releases for my job. What happens is a one-page release is drawn up, and the organization makes it available (sound familiar, PA veterans?) to the news agencies, including the AP, Reuters, TV networks, newspapers, etc. Just because it gets released does not mean the agency will distribute it or that any of the outlets will run the story. They get hundreds of releases every day, and pick and choose which ones they develop into stories, which ones they run as-is, and which they pass on completely. Sure, all these politicians read newspapers and watch TV, but how in the world does PA think simply having our name mentioned in front of these people is going to do any good? Think this through before sending money, folks.
So let me get this straight. For $32.99, PA claims they will inform everyone in the US government from Obama on down that they are hiring more people, and will attribute this to their writers. Who, if they are specified at all, will be in a amorphous batch like the signatures on a petition.
I think the next offer should be the Willy Wonka Special - of the next 10,000 books sold, one will contain a golden ticket good for one (1) visit to an author mill.
I think the next offer should be the Willy Wonka Special - of the next 10,000 books sold, one will contain a golden ticket good for one (1) visit to an author mill.
You can see for yourself the twenty-one (21!) scam offers at the bottom of their page:
http://www.publishamerica.net/online_bookstore.html
http://www.publishamerica.net/online_bookstore.html
For some reason PA has put me back on their mailing list. Among today's cheesy solicitations: (1) for $99, PA will put my book on a banner across from Amazon.com's exhibit at Book Expo America, that says "Hey Amazon! Look at these books" (no, seriously, that's what is says); (2) for $79, an "agent" will promote my book to other publishers, agents, and media at Book Expo America (which I think is a stark admission that PA is not a real publisher); (3) for $149, PA will put my book in their "mobile bookstore" that travels to all of the PA conventions (to be ignored there by other PA authors); (4) for $25 and up, PA will "promote" my book at the Thessaloniki Book Fair in Greece; (5) for $29, PA will put my book in their "Top Authors" display at PA's Orlando authors convention (to be ignored there by other PA authors); (6) for $49, PA will put my book in their "Summer Selection Catalog" that "goes to Amazon, Barnes and Noble, and Walmart" (companies that immediately s***-can it).
Expect to see these wallet-draining ideas posted on my web site soon for all to read. Somehow I am resisting the urge to send money to PA for these bogus promotions, which seem to get more outlandish by the day. I think it's sad that some people apparently cannot see through PA's facade of legitimacy. It would be interesting to know if any of these promotions have ever actually helped sell a single book.
Expect to see these wallet-draining ideas posted on my web site soon for all to read. Somehow I am resisting the urge to send money to PA for these bogus promotions, which seem to get more outlandish by the day. I think it's sad that some people apparently cannot see through PA's facade of legitimacy. It would be interesting to know if any of these promotions have ever actually helped sell a single book.
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I think it's safe to say no, but you're right, it would be interesting to see some actual data.
How much longer 'til your contract with PA is up, Don? ETA: I clicked on your website link and saw that you signed in 2007. Two more years and you're free!
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Getting legitimate sales data from PA would be like getting someone in the government on record about aliens at Area 51.
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I'm trying to figure out what this is supposed to accomplish even in theory -- i.e. what they are claiming it will accomplish.
I have literally never read something so stomach-churningly stupid in my entire life.
Where would one even begin to pick something like this apart?
God help me.
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Okay, I know it's been a while, but the irony of this one had me laughing too hard to pass up posting it here:
Dear [Author--It was actually personalized!]
How would you like all-but-guaranteed attention for you and your book? PublishAmerica staff is preparing the first edition of:
The Failure Times:
Nothing Succeeds Like Failure
Remember Steve Jobs' many failures? He screwed up the Apple Lisa, MacTV and the Apple III. He was even fired by his own company. But he rebounded and gave the world the iPod, iPhone and iPad. Thomas Edison and his lightbulb? He went through thousands of tests until he made light. The Dyson vacuum cleaner guy? Tried 5,126 times until he finally made the world's first bagless vacuum.
The Chicken Soup for the Soul series were rejected 140 times before they became bestsellers. People told Richard Bach that "nobody will want to read about a seagull," before he succeeded mightily with Jonathan Livingston Seagull. Twenty-four literary agents said no to Nicholas Sparks. The 25th gave him a chance and sold The Notebook to Time Warner for a million bucks.
How often have you failed in life?
How fast did you rebound?
What did you learn from your failures?
Not only as an individual, but also as an author? So you didn't become Stephen King or Stephenie Meyer. But what did you do, what did you become, and what will you become?
We believe that The Failure Times will be one of the most motivational and encouraging publications of our time. Filled with stories about book writers such as yourself. People who, like everyone else, have experienced failures, dusted themselves off, learned from it, and tried again.
There are several options available for you to become a part of The Failure Times:
Interview: Your story in an interview format for only $79. A staff writer will contact you and walk you through the interview. Your story will be included together with an image of your book. A copy of The Failure Times will be home-delivered at around the same time as the newsrooms receive theirs.
Advertisements: If you do not want to include your own story, but you do want to advertise your book in The Failure Times:
1/8 Page Ad: $29
1/4 Page Ad: $42 – Share a full page with only 3 other authors
1/2 Page Ad: $69 – Great for authors with up to 4 titles AND includes a copy mailed to you!
Full Page Ad: $119 – Largest advertisement available for the greatest impact AND a copy mailed to you!
Copies of The Failure Times will be mailed to the newsrooms of the New York Times, Washington Post, Wall Street Journal, USA Today, and Los Angeles Times. We will also send a copy to a media outlet of your own preference (your local newspaper, Oprah's studio, you tell us where you want it to go). Additionally, copies will go to ABC, CBS, Fox, and NBC.
Imagine those professionals: they are so used to seeing self-aggrandizing stories. Now they will see the real deal. If they're regular humans, they will recognize it:
Best regards,
Special Services Coordinator
PublishAmerica
DISCLAIMER: PublishAmerica has no affiliation with the New York Times, Washington Post, Wall Street Journal, USA Today, Los Angeles Times, ABC, CBS, Fox, NBC, Oprah's Studio, and/or your local media outlets, and makes no claim to preferential access or other special treatment. No specific result from PublishAmerica's efforts to represent and promote its authors and their books is suggested or guaranteed.
Dear [Author--It was actually personalized!]
How would you like all-but-guaranteed attention for you and your book? PublishAmerica staff is preparing the first edition of:
The Failure Times:
Nothing Succeeds Like Failure
Remember Steve Jobs' many failures? He screwed up the Apple Lisa, MacTV and the Apple III. He was even fired by his own company. But he rebounded and gave the world the iPod, iPhone and iPad. Thomas Edison and his lightbulb? He went through thousands of tests until he made light. The Dyson vacuum cleaner guy? Tried 5,126 times until he finally made the world's first bagless vacuum.
The Chicken Soup for the Soul series were rejected 140 times before they became bestsellers. People told Richard Bach that "nobody will want to read about a seagull," before he succeeded mightily with Jonathan Livingston Seagull. Twenty-four literary agents said no to Nicholas Sparks. The 25th gave him a chance and sold The Notebook to Time Warner for a million bucks.
How often have you failed in life?
How fast did you rebound?
What did you learn from your failures?
Not only as an individual, but also as an author? So you didn't become Stephen King or Stephenie Meyer. But what did you do, what did you become, and what will you become?
We believe that The Failure Times will be one of the most motivational and encouraging publications of our time. Filled with stories about book writers such as yourself. People who, like everyone else, have experienced failures, dusted themselves off, learned from it, and tried again.
There are several options available for you to become a part of The Failure Times:
Interview: Your story in an interview format for only $79. A staff writer will contact you and walk you through the interview. Your story will be included together with an image of your book. A copy of The Failure Times will be home-delivered at around the same time as the newsrooms receive theirs.
Advertisements: If you do not want to include your own story, but you do want to advertise your book in The Failure Times:
1/8 Page Ad: $29
1/4 Page Ad: $42 – Share a full page with only 3 other authors
1/2 Page Ad: $69 – Great for authors with up to 4 titles AND includes a copy mailed to you!
Full Page Ad: $119 – Largest advertisement available for the greatest impact AND a copy mailed to you!
Copies of The Failure Times will be mailed to the newsrooms of the New York Times, Washington Post, Wall Street Journal, USA Today, and Los Angeles Times. We will also send a copy to a media outlet of your own preference (your local newspaper, Oprah's studio, you tell us where you want it to go). Additionally, copies will go to ABC, CBS, Fox, and NBC.
Imagine those professionals: they are so used to seeing self-aggrandizing stories. Now they will see the real deal. If they're regular humans, they will recognize it:
nothing succeeds like failure.
To secure your spot with an interview or ad, contact me at (240)XXX-XXXX or simply respond to this email. Best regards,
Special Services Coordinator
PublishAmerica
DISCLAIMER: PublishAmerica has no affiliation with the New York Times, Washington Post, Wall Street Journal, USA Today, Los Angeles Times, ABC, CBS, Fox, NBC, Oprah's Studio, and/or your local media outlets, and makes no claim to preferential access or other special treatment. No specific result from PublishAmerica's efforts to represent and promote its authors and their books is suggested or guaranteed.
But if "Nothing succeeds like failure," then will this be an Epic Success?
Gotta give them props for being able to once again monetize something that real publishers pay for. I've never heard of paying for the privilege of having your story included in an anthology; I have been paid for it though!
And worse than paying for the privilege of having your story included, you're paying them to publish your failures! "Tell us your most miserable experiences, most embarrassing moments, the chapter of your life you'd most like to forget. Include a check for $79 and we'll put it in print and let you buy more copies to send to your friends and family. If they don't already think you're a loser, they'll soon know it for a fact."
Reminds me of what we often say about a brilliant, ne'er-do-well acquaintance..."If only they'd use their brains for good rather than evil."
But isn't this the formula for most reality-show television? The marketing genius to realize that many people are so desperate for their 15 minutes they'll happily reveal their most intimate and embarrassing moments? Just to have their names known?
If it wasn't so sleazy, this would be almost magnificent.
If it wasn't so sleazy, this would be almost magnificent.
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My thought exactly. I wondered if I could write them a story about the struggles of publishing with PA and how perseverance and hard work got me out of the contract and the books picked up by a small publisher. Success after failure.
Anyone want to speculate on whether they would print it?
Maybe the next special offer can showcase how much money people lost on their worst failures. The more money you lost, the more President Obama will want to hear about it!
And you could pay $39 to be included, $49 for a free copy, $59 for your picture to be shown, and so on.
And you could pay $39 to be included, $49 for a free copy, $59 for your picture to be shown, and so on.
I'm glad I'm not the only one who got this. I've been feeling pretty down lately (about other life stuff that's not going so well) and then this thing shows up in my box. "Hi! You're a failure!"
It felt like a punch to the gut delivered while I was already down.
Messages have suddenly started appearing about weekly in my email, even though I removed myself from their mailing list. I just wish they'd go away and leave me alone.
It felt like a punch to the gut delivered while I was already down.
Messages have suddenly started appearing about weekly in my email, even though I removed myself from their mailing list. I just wish they'd go away and leave me alone.
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Okay. PublishAmerica has reached the height of sleaziness. So far, anyway. Pay $79 and get an interview published in PA's The Failure Times.
I can just see that posted on someone's CV as a publishing credit.
I can just see that posted on someone's CV as a publishing credit.
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We Are All Failures: A Collective Book by PublishAmerica's Authors.
(Note: I'm not saying they're failures, I'm saying that's what this sounds like.)
(Note: I'm not saying they're failures, I'm saying that's what this sounds like.)