Why can't people just be nice?
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SpookyWriter
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SpookyWriter
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Sorry Dama, but young Yee went to granny's for dinner. You'll have to do Italian tonight (godfather pizza)...DamaNegra said:I ate italian todayBut right now I'm in the mood for chinese so the party's on!!
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Their motto is: Make no mistake about our sausage[/COLOR].DamaNegra said:Does godfather pizza mean that I get to eat godfather in a pizza???
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SpookyWriter said:Sorry Dama, but young Yee went to granny's for dinner. You'll have to do Italian tonight (godfather pizza)...
No, I've been home for many days. Granny was at our house for 4th of July dinner.
Awww, I didn't know so many people liked Chinese.
Spooky, as far as I know, I'm not Italian. My mom could be descended from the Romans, but otherwise I don't think I am.
But I DO love Italian food.
that can be a problem with relations, you love them because they're your sister or whatever, yet were they just a regular person you'd not be friends with them. knowing what kind of response you'll get from someone (and knowing it won't be the kind you want), i think there's rather a shared blame there for hurt feelings, no? the fact that it's a family member only clouds an otherwise obvious solution. in this case, it seems the sister, while not a bad person, per se, would be a person you'd cut out of your life long ago were she not your sister. most people don't want to have personality clashes with their siblings well into adulthood, especially after having a lot of the same shared experiences, and i think that tends to make any pain involved that much worse, if that makes any sense.
my experience has been that telling someone what kind of response you'd like doesn't mean you'll get that response. sometimes it does, sometimes it doesn't. more often not, however, because in the back of everyone's mind they think they're right, end of story. still, it could be useful for future reference just in case the offendee someday gets a taste of their own medicine which causes them to rethink parts of their behaviour. so someday your sister may call you up out of the blue and apologize for being such an insensitive person, if indeed that's the way she is (i say that because i don't know you or your sister nor do i know if you tend to be overly-dramatic or overly-sensitive. it's just a general statement).
i know plenty of people in rl who are overly sensitive (not saying you are, i have no idea, just another general statement), and they live in a state of constant distress and concocted drama. every little statement and every little perceived misdeed, imagined or not, someone makes is analyzed for maximum dramatic effect. my anecdotal experience is these are often people who don't have much to do in a day. i'm constantly amazed at how someone can fill their lives talking on a phone, not having to work, and watching t.v. all day can have more drama in their lives than a mexican soap opera. some people are addicted to drama and the attention it garners them. these people, i've noticed, seem to marry 'sympathic' people, but they're really marrying unsuspecting partners to help them fascillitate their mind crimes (just made that up, thought it sounded good). again, this isn't meant to imply this is what you're doing, just what i feel is a related comment. personally, i try to avoid these kind of people when possible because even were i able to help them out, tomorrow would just bring on a new set of issues.
generally speaking, i think most people try to be nice and helpful on average. believe it or not, i do. at the same time, there's a limit to how far i can go with it. i've had more than one person latch onto me for no other reason than i'd sit their and listen to their problems for forever and a day. especially on the internut it's hard to tell the way some people ultimately are while in the process of building up a friendship with them. maybe because i'm a guy is why i gravitate towards people who tend to be on the self-relying side of things emotional, where i'm not always dealing with walking on eggshells, having to handle someone with kid gloves, and feeling as if i'm in a perpetual balancing act. the problem i've had is that in the process of being nice, that's often the kind of person i attract, which is weird. venting and ranting and needing help or advice on occasion is fine: being needy and clingy, just do me a personal favour and find someone else to drag into your lair. in a way, those people are virtually as, ah, 'depraved' as the people they claim are killing their soul when it seems to me half of what they're attempting is suicide, they're just searching for 1) people to murder them and 2) a kind person to write a glowing eulogy.
maybe that comes off a bit mean or insensitive. but, being a nice guy can be a burden sometimes. ideally, just giving someone an ear every now and then suffices long enough for them to work things out on their own, maybe a good hug and tell them everything's going to be all right (guys, that right there is good advice. i wish i'd been the one to think of it, but, ah, well. if a girl is telling you her problems, she's not always looking for you to fix them for her as much as she's wanting a hug and 'it'll be okay.' believe it or not. someone back me up or disagree with that).
so, for what it's worth, here's a *hug* and the promise that it'll be all right.
my experience has been that telling someone what kind of response you'd like doesn't mean you'll get that response. sometimes it does, sometimes it doesn't. more often not, however, because in the back of everyone's mind they think they're right, end of story. still, it could be useful for future reference just in case the offendee someday gets a taste of their own medicine which causes them to rethink parts of their behaviour. so someday your sister may call you up out of the blue and apologize for being such an insensitive person, if indeed that's the way she is (i say that because i don't know you or your sister nor do i know if you tend to be overly-dramatic or overly-sensitive. it's just a general statement).
i know plenty of people in rl who are overly sensitive (not saying you are, i have no idea, just another general statement), and they live in a state of constant distress and concocted drama. every little statement and every little perceived misdeed, imagined or not, someone makes is analyzed for maximum dramatic effect. my anecdotal experience is these are often people who don't have much to do in a day. i'm constantly amazed at how someone can fill their lives talking on a phone, not having to work, and watching t.v. all day can have more drama in their lives than a mexican soap opera. some people are addicted to drama and the attention it garners them. these people, i've noticed, seem to marry 'sympathic' people, but they're really marrying unsuspecting partners to help them fascillitate their mind crimes (just made that up, thought it sounded good). again, this isn't meant to imply this is what you're doing, just what i feel is a related comment. personally, i try to avoid these kind of people when possible because even were i able to help them out, tomorrow would just bring on a new set of issues.
generally speaking, i think most people try to be nice and helpful on average. believe it or not, i do. at the same time, there's a limit to how far i can go with it. i've had more than one person latch onto me for no other reason than i'd sit their and listen to their problems for forever and a day. especially on the internut it's hard to tell the way some people ultimately are while in the process of building up a friendship with them. maybe because i'm a guy is why i gravitate towards people who tend to be on the self-relying side of things emotional, where i'm not always dealing with walking on eggshells, having to handle someone with kid gloves, and feeling as if i'm in a perpetual balancing act. the problem i've had is that in the process of being nice, that's often the kind of person i attract, which is weird. venting and ranting and needing help or advice on occasion is fine: being needy and clingy, just do me a personal favour and find someone else to drag into your lair. in a way, those people are virtually as, ah, 'depraved' as the people they claim are killing their soul when it seems to me half of what they're attempting is suicide, they're just searching for 1) people to murder them and 2) a kind person to write a glowing eulogy.
maybe that comes off a bit mean or insensitive. but, being a nice guy can be a burden sometimes. ideally, just giving someone an ear every now and then suffices long enough for them to work things out on their own, maybe a good hug and tell them everything's going to be all right (guys, that right there is good advice. i wish i'd been the one to think of it, but, ah, well. if a girl is telling you her problems, she's not always looking for you to fix them for her as much as she's wanting a hug and 'it'll be okay.' believe it or not. someone back me up or disagree with that).
so, for what it's worth, here's a *hug* and the promise that it'll be all right.
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Rachael said:Since this thread has been completely hijacked before I got a chance to post, let me just add my two cents:
Trolls (and yes, there are a few internet trolls prowling around this board) aren't worth your time or energy. Report them to a moderator, whatever, then refuse to feed their need for attention. It's just not worth it.
Okay! Can someone please pass me the grilled Irishmen made of soy protein? I'm a vegetarian.
mmhmmm! I know who they are and I'm pretty sure they know who they are too. But we'll play the PinkElephant game and pretend we don't until they go away.
Godfather said:
haven't you figured out yet that I will never owe the mob anything....so therefore will never ask a favor? I told you, I swiped a family recipe in a divorce from an Italian. It hadn't been passed down to any of that next generations from the old ladies. I probably have a hit out on me. I'm a mark.
No way no how am I getting close to mobsters...especially those that are too eager to hand out favors!
Thanks, anyway.
I just took a super long lunch break driving all over west county to find a place for take-out sushi...an hour later - I'm back at my desk....eating sushi, drinking a Coke and reading AW. This could only be better if I could follow it with a glass of wine and cigarette. (oh, and not being at work would be nice too)...just thought I'd share.
preyer said:
"God gave me my family, thank God I can choose my friends."
I don't know if it's an actual Scots proverb, but given my Scots half of the family, it probably should be.
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