Seven Stages of a New Writer: A Satire

zanzjan · Apr 25, 2011

Medievalist said:
One company hired me to flow chart English and American novels from the canon. It was oddly fun . . .

Wow. I would love to see one, some day.

I do diagram-flowchart things of my novels, usually as part of the first revision after finishing a first draft. They're pretty much completely unintelligible to anyone but me, but it's as close as I can get to a distillation/map of my plot in a working document. I'd be curious to know how wildly it diverges from one put together by someone who actually knows what they're doing.

-Suzanne

swachski · Apr 26, 2011

Medievalist said:
In my less than illustrious past of writing-for-money, I worked on a lot of games that had a narrative of some sort.

One company hired me to flow chart English and American novels from the canon.

It was oddly fun . . .

And I'm oddly intrigued.

stormie · Apr 26, 2011

Chris_Wilkins said:
This is sort of depressing. Sniff. Is this why writers are supposed to hit the scotch bottle everyday?

For me it's peppermint schnapps, kept in the freezer, ready at a moment's notice.

AlwaysJuly · Apr 26, 2011

My process involves more chocolate and more dancing (What's the joy in a "You didn't deserve my story anyway!" without a little spin and flounce in the mix?).

GlobalWolf · May 2, 2011

Kim Fierce · May 13, 2011

I can definitely relate to rules 3a through 3z. Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait . . .

Miss Moo · May 28, 2011

Well, as a newbie, this can't possibly apply to me because I have a plan!

I'll submit my little book and it will be accepted the first time out, I'll get picked up by a wonderful agent who will pitch my story to a movie studio where it will be made into the next mega hit for the big screen and I'll retire to a tropical beach before I turn 50.

See, no waiting or rejection for me because I have a plan!

MJNL · May 30, 2011

GlobalWolf said:
There is?

So then my absolutely, fantastically, powerfully, epically written novel which reads like the birds of a thousand springs flocking all together in perfect, peaceful, amazing, brilliant harmony will never be published?

lol.

Seven Stages of a New Writer: A Satire

zanzjan

killin' all teh werds

swachski

checking the 'reset' box

stormie

storm central

AlwaysJuly

slugging through

GlobalWolf

Kim Fierce

Attack me with everything you have.

Miss Moo

MJNL

A Little Lost