The Militant Humor and Horror Union

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smsarber

smsarber

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From "Dumb Questions" for Android:

Who killed the Dead Sea?

If corn oil is made from oil, what is baby oil made from?

What do people in China call their good plates?

If athletes get athlete's foot, do astronauts get mistletoe?

You can't have everything--where would you put it?

Why is a boxing ring square?

Do Roman paramedics refer to "IV's" as "4's"?
 
smsarber

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Dumb Laws for Android:

Oklahoma:
It is illegal for the owner of a bar to allow anyone inside to pretend to have sex with a buffalo.

Thailand:
You must wear a shirt while driving a car.

United Kingdom:
Any boy under the age of 10 may not see a naked manequin.

Louisiana:
A law was passed with the specific intent of stating the punishment for stealing crawfish.

Canada:
You may never use dice to play craps.

Wisconsin:
It is illegal to cut a woman's hair.
 
smsarber

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Talk to the hand:
horror_art_7.jpg


:D
 
regdog

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smsarber said:
Hello-ello-ello-ello-llo-llo-llo-o-o-o-o-o-o-o....


The Union has been quiet lately.


Too quiet.


Laurie?


Night?


Reg?


Ah, f*ck it. I'm gonna play all by myself then.


:D
Click to expand...

:Ssh:
 
smsarber

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So I finally got the "GOOD" painkillers. In addition to my Vicodin I have 4mg Dilaudid tablets. The combo takes away about 95% of my pain. There are drawbacks, though. They don't call Dilaudid "Hospital Heroin" for nothing, and I have an addictive personality, so I have to watch myself. But the tablets don't give me a buzz, so hopefully they won't become a problem. The IV Dilaudid I get in the hospital makes you feel all warm and fuzzy for about 5 minutes, but the pills not really. Anyway, if this bone scan I have scheduled for Thursday shows nothing in the ribs to explain my pain (in that area, I have other chronic pain that isn't going away) then it's most likely neuropathic, and the surgeon can probably go in and kill off the nerve. Then no more pain. And I should be able to stop the Dilaudid.

We'll see.
 
smsarber

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Come on people, don't let my first thread die...


Do you want me to start crying? Cuz I'm pretty much incapable of tears... It's not a macho thing, I just don't cry. Not even at weddings... or funerals :Shrug: But I will cut up some onions and get some wetworks going if that's what it takes:D
 
smsarber

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I'm going to try to revive this dead thread. Come on, I know I have friends here, so post in the Union! Anything goes here! From Rated "G" to Rated "R" (I think XXX would be pushing it, but if you have something really juicy...)


:D
 
TedTheewen

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You know, I accidentally clicked on this thread while going to my usual Horror Hound forum. And since I am here, I thought I'd ask this question: Does anybody remember a series of books called Tales of the Crypt Jokes?

One of the jokes I remember was, "What did the early missionaries give to the cannibals of Borneo? Their first taste of Christianity."

Cannibal jokes rock!
 
smsarber

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That's great:roll:

A bear and a rabbit are pooping in the woods. The bear says, "Hey rabbit, you have problems with poop sticking to your fur?" The rabbit says, "Why, no." So the bear wipes his ass with the rabbit.




:ROFL:
 
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