Dogs, separation anxiety, and writing

heyjude · Sep 1, 2010

When we moved into our new house, we built a gorgeous study. Very comfortable, with windows looking out at palm trees. I love it in there. When my kids went to school last week, I thought Yay! Writing time in the study. It's a good thing, right? And I do. I write a lot in there--it's comfortable, the desk is perfect, the whole setup is conducive to getting stuff done.

But. We have a dog, a retired racing greyhound. When we first got him, it was a long, patient slog to break him of the separation anxiety. Recently, ten years later, he's getting it again. We have him on anti-anxiety meds, but the vet says he's getting dementia. He's only really happy when we're home. Fortunately, I'm a stay-at-home mom. When we're out for more than a quick run, he has a babysitter.

The problem is that when I go to the study to write, he stands outside the door, shifting around anxiously. He won't come in and lay on the cushy carpeted floor, oh no. He stands there until I come in and sit in the family room with him.

There's no great place to write in here. The computer gets hot in my lap (and I had a fan for it, but it's clunky and it broke). I'm really at a loss. Obviously, the poor dog comes first, but I'd sure appreciate any suggestions.

alleycat · Sep 1, 2010

He won't come in even if you call him, or offer him a treat?

I guess I would think of bringing him into the room a few times (even if I had to carry him), petting him and letting him know it's okay for him to be there.

DeleyanLee · Sep 1, 2010

How excited has he been before you go in there? Was there all the hustle and bustle of everyone else starting their day and then just BOOM you're off by yourself and being quiet without him? And if you did get him in there, would you just ignore him in favor of the writing?

My suggestion is that first you make sure he's calm, even tired, before you go in to write. Tired is best (maybe a brisk walk or put him on a treadmill, if you have it?).

If he's having problems even going into the room, then I'd take him in there and spend time with him several times a day. Make it a good place to be.

Over a couple of weeks (or so), bring him in and slowly separate yourself from being active with him and encourage him to rest in there. Maybe make it a nap-room for him or something.

Once he's used to you not being with him all the time, take one session a day and make it a work session for you and a nap session for him. Take another session and half-and-half it with activities. Work it towards the time when it's always nap-time/work-time for the two of you.

And be sure to reward him with something he enjoys after the writing session.

Good luck to you.

heyjude · Sep 1, 2010

These are great suggestions, thanks.

He's almost as heavy as me, so no carrying! And he's too arthritic to take on brisk walks. But I like the idea of going in there with him just for fun, give him a treat while we're there, a few times a day, get him used to it. He has a dog bed he sometimes likes to lay on, maybe I'll drag that in there with us.

The thing is, anything that's not something he's already used to is super-scary, and the vet said that the usual separation-anxiety tricks are unlikely to work, since his fear is now likely based on dementia.

My poor sweet boy. Well, I'll try anything, and if it's just too much for him, I'll try another fan for my computer.

regdog · Sep 2, 2010

Perhaps when you have some free time, stand at the entrance to the study and call him. Then when he is there pat him and give him and treat and then slowly move back a bit and call him to you. if he comes reward him with treats and love. Hopefully he's still mental sharp enough to understand the study is a good place.

FOTSGreg · Sep 2, 2010

My mother's dog passed today lying in the sun in the backyard. He' been blind for at least the last couple of weeks, but my mother and aunt have been away from the house in a convalescent hospital for over a week. I could tell that the separation anxiety was getting to him as he was unlearning his house training progressively and was coming upstairs to my room much more frequently than he used to (even when it wasn't thundering outside).

I feel guilty as hell because I left him outside this morning when I left the house (with plenty of water, of course, and it wasn't that hot a day and it was only for about 3 hours), but he seemed to be having such a good time being allowed out to roam the backyard for awhile.

I know it was just his time, but I was hoping my mother and aunt would at least get their chance to say goodbye.

Puppy was a much loved and pampered member of our family and, while I don't feel the same thing as I did when I had to have my Shadow put down last November, I still feel like I've come home to a much lonelier and emptier house.

Separation anxiety works both ways.

heyjude · Sep 2, 2010

Oh, Greg. I'm so sorry. There just are no words when you lose someone like that.

Falling asleep in the warm sun, though... There are worse ways to go. It sounds like he was happy. :Hug2:

heyjude · Sep 2, 2010

BTW, I didn't even try the study today. The big guy had a bad senior moment and I didn't want to do anything crazy like go into another room. :tongue

regdog · Sep 4, 2010

FOTSGreg said:
My mother's dog passed today lying in the sun in the backyard. He' been blind for at least the last couple of weeks, but my mother and aunt have been away from the house in a convalescent hospital for over a week. I could tell that the separation anxiety was getting to him as he was unlearning his house training progressively and was coming upstairs to my room much more frequently than he used to (even when it wasn't thundering outside).

I feel guilty as hell because I left him outside this morning when I left the house (with plenty of water, of course, and it wasn't that hot a day and it was only for about 3 hours), but he seemed to be having such a good time being allowed out to roam the backyard for awhile.

I know it was just his time, but I was hoping my mother and aunt would at least get their chance to say goodbye.

Puppy was a much loved and pampered member of our family and, while I don't feel the same thing as I did when I had to have my Shadow put down last November, I still feel like I've come home to a much lonelier and emptier house.

Separation anxiety works both ways.

So sorry for your loss :Hug2:

heyjude said:
BTW, I didn't even try the study today. The big guy had a bad senior moment and I didn't want to do anything crazy like go into another room.

I hope your old guy is okay :Hug2:

sassandgroove · Sep 4, 2010

our dog won't go in our bedroom for more than a few minutes. our a/c went out last week and it was too hot to let her stay in the front of the house where she usually stays at night. some friends loaned us a window unit to keep our bedroom cool until we got a new unit. She wouldn't come in our room at bedtime. We lured her in with treats but she stood at the door or paced, and was anxious. Finally she realized we weren't going to let her out and laid in the shower, which she does during storms. I got up in the middle of the night and she followed me out of the room and went into her crate even though it was really hot in the living room. I realized then why she didn't want to go in our room. so I took one oh her pillows and put it in our shower and she went an laid on it. It's like a den, I guess. Maybe your dog needs a place in your study that is just for him? Maybe you could get an inexpensive crate or something, they sell soft sided travel ones or even just a pillow? We had a pillow in our room for her but it was out in the open and she only lays on it when she follows me in there when I am getting laundry or somethingand she's waiting for me. good luck...

heyjude · Sep 7, 2010

Thanks again to everyone who's offered suggestions.

A cautious yay! for today--I'm in the study now. Sure enough, a few minutes after I got here, he came rambling in, all drippy and scared. I told him in my best brisk-but-kind everything-is-fine voice that we were going to spend twenty minutes in here, and brought him in a pillow and a treat. He's laying at my feet, a bit nervous, but here. If he can get used to it, bit by bit, it would be a huge win!

DeleyanLee · Sep 7, 2010

Sounds like progress, Jude! Hope it works out.

regdog · Sep 10, 2010

Here's hoping the progress continues

veinglory · Sep 10, 2010

Could you put down some loose linoleum or upside down carpet that he would come into the room on and settle down?

heyjude · Sep 10, 2010

Thanks, all.

Veinglory, he would fall on the linoleum (he's such an old man, poor guy), but why upside down carpet? I'm intrigued!

There's a very plush carpet in there now and he did lay on the pillow that one day... but only for a bit, then it was back to pacing and dripping.

I think I might be best off at the kitchen table for now, which is within easy eyesight of his favorite couch. Unfortunately, this is probably a short-term problem, so his happiness comes first. And the view out the kitchen window ain't half bad...

Thanks again for the thoughts and sympathies, all. I really do appreciate it. The whole situation breaks my heart.

regdog · Sep 10, 2010

veinglory · Sep 10, 2010

Greyhounds can be funny about surfaces, steps etc. I once trained one to go down two steps by laying carpet over them upside down.

ElsaM · Sep 13, 2010

My little girl had separation anxiety from the first day we got her. At first we thought it was just the usual puppy stuff, but it never really got better. We all just learnt coping techniques - including her.

If he's not likely to learn the room is a happy place, then could you try setting up a bed for him in the doorway? Or is that too far away from you?

Does he have regular sleeping patterns you could take advantage of?

Is there a special treat you could use to distract him? Preferably one that lasts a while?

I hope you and your greyhound have more happy days together.

heyjude · Sep 13, 2010

veinglory said:
Greyhounds can be funny about surfaces, steps etc. I once trained one to go down two steps by laying carpet over them upside down.

I never heard this one! Neat! We recently moved to FL and forgot that sage advice about introducing him to the pool (which greys don't understand isn't just a pretty rug). We went for a swim the first day. :e2drown:

ElsaM said:
My little girl had separation anxiety from the first day we got her. At first we thought it was just the usual puppy stuff, but it never really got better. We all just learnt coping techniques - including her.

If he's not likely to learn the room is a happy place, then could you try setting up a bed for him in the doorway? Or is that too far away from you?

Does he have regular sleeping patterns you could take advantage of?

Is there a special treat you could use to distract him? Preferably one that lasts a while?

I hope you and your greyhound have more happy days together.

Thanks, ElsaM.

I did try to go when he naps--he has this 6th sense, even in sleep, when I'm not in the room. And I tried the special treat, but he takes it into the other room, then he's back, drip, drip, dripping. I think my kitchen table is probably the best bet for now. I'd do anything to make his last days as carefree as possible. He's already been through so much, poor guy.

Thanks again.

Adobedragon · Sep 16, 2010

Greyhounds can be funny about surfaces, steps etc. I once trained one to go down two steps by laying carpet over them upside down.

My hound is very cautious when walking over the saltillo tiles in my office. He'll come lay on the rug next to my chair, but sometimes his hind legs end up on the tiles. And, though he's young, he goes into "I've fallen and I can't get up" mode. I have to help lift his hind end up, until he can get sufficient traction to stand on his own. Not fun, since he's a big 74-pound fella. Greyhounds. I love 'em, but they are odd.

I'd do anything to make his last days as carefree as possible. He's already been through so much, poor guy.

Bless you for your kindness to the old fellow.

heyjude · Sep 16, 2010

Thanks, Adobedragon.

Greys are a riot, aren't they?

We're in the process of putting rugs through the whole house--he keeps falling on the tile. Between that and the steps/stools/ramps all over for the arthritic cat, it's getting to be a strange-looking house...

Adobedragon · Sep 17, 2010

We're in the process of putting rugs through the whole house--he keeps falling on the tile. Between that and the steps/stools/ramps all over for the arthritic cat, it's getting to be a strange-looking house...

Heh. The things we do. We did the rug thing for our previous greyhound. This greyhound has epilepsy, which hits when he's sleeping, so he's got three huge beds in the living room for padding in case he goes into seizure.

heyjude · Jan 4, 2011

Update on my guy: My vet suggested a new pain killer, and we've gradually put him on it every day (he has a horrible stomach, so it's always slow-going with new meds). And voila!--he is a much happier boy. I spent two hours holed up in the study yesterday and he napped the whole way through. :snoopy:

sassandgroove · Jan 4, 2011

that is great news.

heyjude · Jan 4, 2011

Thank you! I'm excited.

Dogs, separation anxiety, and writing

Making my own sunshine

Still around

Writing Anarchist

Making my own sunshine

The Scavengers

Today is your last day.

Making my own sunshine

Making my own sunshine

The Scavengers

Sassy haircut

Making my own sunshine

Writing Anarchist

The Scavengers

volitare nequeo

Making my own sunshine

The Scavengers

volitare nequeo

lurker extraordinaire

Making my own sunshine

Making my own sunshine

Making my own sunshine

Sassy haircut

Making my own sunshine