Dandelion Seed at Midnight

TexasPoet

When Is It Dark Enough?
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upon the cool wings
of summer night

under mellow moon
above sleeping grass

I journey chartless
discovery's way

bound by nothing
held by less

unincorporated
into the meadow's
politics

chancing my flight
will end in rich earth

followed by gentle
rains
 

milly

seeing sparks
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I really liked this...it read easily

I particularly liked the line, "bound by nothing, held by less"

overall, the imagery was very nice

good job :)
 

poetinahat

Numbers are beautiful
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Is this in the right forum? It might need a move.

Beautiful topic for a poem. Is "at midnight" necessary in the title? The first stanza portrays the night soon after.

I like the same phrase milly does - lovely. The "wings of night" metaphor doesn't quite work for me; wings, I would imagine, would have to do with wind, where night doesn't travel. But that's a personal take on it.

The "unincorporated" stanza feels cumbersome, compared to the lightness of everything else, and "discovery's way" seems a little terse. (I recognise this might be due to minimalist principles, so I won't suggest "this is how discovery works" or some such.)

eta: That was meant as an acknowledgement that my comment might not be applicable. It wasn't meant as a denigration of the MM form, and if it came across that way, I apologise.

The second-last stanza: it isn't the chancing that ends in rich earth, but rather the flight itself. That trips me up a little.

Just a few thoughts - it's already promising.
 
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Ambrosia

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Terry, I agree with Rob that you might want to have this moved over to Poetry Crit.

It is a really beautiful poem with a light, airy feel. I like this one very much.

I also question the use of "unincorporated", not the entire stanza but the word itself. I don't think that is the word you are really looking for. "unbounded by" or "unfettered by" or some such seems more in tune with the poem to me.

All in all a beautiful poem, Terry, even if it's not in MM form. ;)