Loneliness and writing

folkchick · Mar 19, 2010

Spring Break put a damper on my writing this week, but I kind of expected that to happen. What I didn't expect was the utter loneliness I would feel. I'm trying to get the mojo back, but in the meantime I find myself just wandering around like a lost puppy. I keep looking in the cabinet for snacks, checking twitter, emails and anything else that has a temporary filling quality. Has anyone else felt this, or is it just me, the depressed freak? I've been depressed my whole life, so I should be used to it.

wizzy812 · Mar 19, 2010

I'm an exremely depressed and lonely person. Too bad you live in Kansas.

folkchick · Mar 19, 2010

No shit. Kansas is one lonely state.

lucidzfl · Mar 19, 2010

Dang. Actually, I cherish my personal time. My (stay at home) wife actually leaves the house every Saturday to give me 6+ hours alone.

folkchick · Mar 19, 2010

Well, in honor of this I'll post a link to my favorite song from my favorite band.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Fu4h4xqdJ_8&feature=related

Dan Peek is my new obsession. He's like Neil Young in Jim Morrison's body; great guitarist and beautiful songs.

RemusShepherd · Mar 19, 2010

Yes, loneliness is normal for writers, at least those who work in seclusion. I understand that some people are able to write at coffeeshops...don't know how they get work done.

I live in South Dakota, if you want to compare lonely wastelands. The harsh winter has given me a bad case of cabin fever, and writing is not the cure. I am not normally given to depression, but even I have been sulky lately. Fortunately the voices in my head won't allow me to become schizophrenic.

wizzy812 · Mar 19, 2010

folkchick said:
No shit. Kansas is one lonely state.

Why don't you move to Washington? You're pretty!!!

folkchick · Mar 19, 2010

And married. But I'm taking that compliment and stuffing it in my bra.

folkchick · Mar 19, 2010

Thank you, btw!

jana13k · Mar 19, 2010

So get out of your house. I wrote most of all my books in public places. My first three in a cafe and after that I had to travel a lot for work - so airports, hotels, airplanes, wherever. The noise and just listening to other people helps break you out of your own universe, and a change of geography often spurs my creativity.

Waffle House is open 24-7 and no one is likely to complain if you take up a counter seat half the day or night drinking coffee, as long as you don't ask for refills while they're on a smoke break.

Jamesaritchie · Mar 19, 2010

I wouldn't be a writer if it made me lonely. Lonely is not a good thing. Unless you enjoy being alone, love solidtude, writing is a poor profession to choose.

lucidzfl · Mar 19, 2010

You're lonely, but you're married?

gothicangel · Mar 19, 2010

I can't say I ever felt lonely. Now getting people to go away . . .

lucidzfl · Mar 19, 2010

Jamesaritchie said:
I wouldn't be a writer if it made me lonely. Lonely is not a good thing. Unless you enjoy being alone, love solidtude, writing is a poor profession to choose.

Maybe I'm a freak. But I can write, in the center of my house, while my wife works on puzzles or makes dinner, with the animals buzzing around. I'll talk to her occasionally while I write if I need to.

I never feel lonely. And when she walks past me to go to the bedroom or something she'll rub my shoulders sometimes!

Namatu · Mar 19, 2010

To the OP: Are you lonely because you're not writing? You're procrastinating, coming down after spring break, where you were likely pretty social, and feeling at odd ends. I always feel unsettled in the quiet after a busy period. It could be loneliness, but it could be you just need to get back to BIC.

folkchick · Mar 19, 2010

I've always been lonely, partly from some childhood experiences. But this is advanced loneliness, and is stemming from how deeply involved in re-writes I'd become these last few months. It just sort of shocked me.

Yes, I'm married and lonely. That's . . . another story and I choose silence.

You guys are great. Yes, getting out of the house is a good idea. Thank you!

Namatu- yes, that's pretty much the gist of what's going on. The cure will be when I get back in the flow.

LuckyH · Mar 19, 2010

Lonely, isolated, depressed? That just about explains most of our great writers when writing their masterpieces. Sure, there are exceptions, I just can’t think of any.

Happy families and choir singing don’t seem to inspire great writers, I’ve used the word Great to differentiate them from us mere mortals, who might be quite happy to stop writing at any time to play with the kids or go to the disco.

Mr. Anonymous · Mar 19, 2010

Know how you feel. First week of spring break was spent volunteering so that kept me busy but all of a sudden for the second week I'm at home and nobody is around and I have my novel waiting to be finished but I keep needing to take breaks because I don't know and I end up walking aimlessly around my house...etc.

So yeah, you're definitely not the only one.

folkchick · Mar 19, 2010

LUCKYH- well said, and so incredibly true.

Mr Anoymous- Yes, that's me to a T! We should form a group: The lonely writer's club.

SWest- I love this so much. Thank you for the wise words and extended compassion.

milly · Mar 19, 2010

folkchick said:
I've always been lonely, partly from some childhood experiences. But this is advanced loneliness, and is stemming from how deeply involved in re-writes I'd become these last few months. It just sort of shocked me.

Yes, I'm married and lonely. That's . . . another story and I choose silence.

You guys are great. Yes, getting out of the house is a good idea. Thank you!

Namatu- yes, that's pretty much the gist of what's going on. The cure will be when I get back in the flow.

Married and lonely...choosing silence as well...but you know...I think I am most lonely when I am nearing the completion of a novel, like I am losing a part of myself...I should be happy but instead, I get more depressed.

Overall I am a fairly happy person and would not necessarily consider myself "lonely" but in those moments as I wind down or try to get started again, that's when it hits. I don't know if that makes sense but, maybe, getting involved with some new characters will help. Mine are, after all, some of my best friends!

third person · Mar 19, 2010

Sorry--you expected anything less of a writer's life? Tsk. It's what gives us our edge. I use it as fuel and keep going, loneliness be damned.

Ruv Draba · Mar 19, 2010

For me, loneliness is a form of boredom, and one of the best cures I've found for boredom is exercise. Sometimes if my writing-brain goes flat I'll go for a run or a cycle, or maybe do some sort of class, or I'll put on some boppy music and dance to it.

It's very hard to be lonely when you're full of adrenalin, with blood singing through your veins.

Jamesaritchie · Mar 19, 2010

LuckyH said:
Lonely, isolated, depressed? That just about explains most of our great writers when writing their masterpieces. Sure, there are exceptions, I just can’t think of any.

Happy families and choir singing don’t seem to inspire great writers, I’ve used the word Great to differentiate them from us mere mortals, who might be quite happy to stop writing at any time to play with the kids or go to the disco.

There are always exceptions, but from all the biographies and autobiogrqphies I've read, it's teh lonely, depressed writer who's the rarity. It makes for good myth, but most of the great writers loved what they did, had wives, families, friends, and a social life.

Namatu · Mar 19, 2010

Ruv Draba said:
For me, loneliness is a form of boredom, and one of the best cures I've found for boredom is exercise.

I always feel much better after exercise.

Libbie · Mar 19, 2010

lucidzfl said:
You're lonely, but you're married?

Hey. It happens a lot more often than you'd think. I'm married, but so lonely that I'm working on being unmarried.

As for loneliness and writing, I really need the feeling of isolation and I need my own space in order to be productive. I write much better when I'm in my own little world. (Another reason why I'm working on being unmarried...it's hard to get that isolation on-demand when you need it, if you've got to share your life and living space with another person.) Loneliness makes me more productive and better at my craft. It goes get trying, though. I schedule regular social activities so I always know I'll have something to do with friends. That keeps the loneliness from crushing me entirely.

Loneliness and writing

Not a new kid

Not a new kid

Back from the dead

Not a new kid

Not a new kid

Not a new kid

Yep. I can.

Back from the dead

Toughen up.

Back from the dead

Lost in mental space.

Not a new kid

Oh, really?

Just a guy with a pen & a delusion

Not a new kid

seeing sparks

She blinded me--with magic!

Lost in mental space.

Worst song played on ugliest guitar