Eroticommas: Direct Address

Maryn

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On request from a number of writers receiving or reading someone else's critique, all of them unsure about commas, I'll be doing a few lessons with examples which might make them easier to remember. If only my parents were alive to see me using that teaching degree at long last, huh?

If you don't need a refresher, great! How about hustling yourself over to Erotica SYW and helping someone who's struggling with punctuation or other issues? They'll thank you for correction and explanation of why.

DIRECT ADDRESS REQUIRES COMMAS​

When you talk to someone and use their name, it's called direct address. Simple examples are Good morning, sweet cheeks and Brian, you've got to use more lube. Whoever says those lines is directly addressing sweet cheeks and Brian.

Omitting the comma that ought to be there wouldn't be too tragic. The lines would mean the same thing. That's not always true, though. There’s a major difference between Let’s eat, Erica! and Let’s eat Erica!

Use commas to separate the name, title, or other words used in direct address--that’s calling the person by name, or a name substitute--when speaking to that person.

It doesn’t matter if the direct address is to a single person, a small group, a multitude, or even a non-physical concept. It doesn’t matter if you’re using full names, proper names, nicknames, job titles, terms of respect, derogatory terms, formal titles, phrases to describe or identify a group, etc.

So far, so good, right?

Use one comma if the direct address appears at the beginning of the sentence, separating it from the rest of the sentence.
Honey, you’re not frigid. You just haven’t been with a real man.
Mrs. Smith, please spread your legs and try to relax.
Babe, you said he wouldn’t be home for hours.
Ladies and gentlemen, may I present my new sub? Stand up tall, Keenan.
Senator, we have photographs of your sexual encounters with the page.
Officer, she’s over eighteen. Show him your ID.
You flatterer, I’m old enough to be your mother, or at least do your mother.
Class, settle down. Miss Johnson has something to show you. Two somethings.

Use one comma if the direct address appears at the end of the sentence, separating it from the rest of the sentence.
You’ll do as you’re told and like it, slut.
I’ve never seen a cock as big as his, Mom.
Thank you, sir! May I have another?
Ooh, yes, just like that, both of you.
That’s not the beaver I’m referring to, Mrs. Cleaver.
Oh, you! That’s not what I meant.
Know what you are, Karen? Every man here does.
Let’s go here, people, there’s porn to make.

Use two commas if the direct address appears anywhere else in the sentence, separating it from both what comes before it and what comes after it.
Oh, darling, diamonds!
Congratulations, everyone, on the dildo sales record for this date.
If I were you, bitch, I would keep my mouth shut.
We all appear to be horny, my brothers of Sig Ep, so let’s fuck something.
When I want you to say anything, young lady, I’ll ask for your input.
Hey, Marlon, you want to take her in back?
Thanks to you, Master, I am free while in chains.
Since we were late, asshole, there’s no girls left. You gonna blow me?

It has to be a comma (or two commas if it’s in the middle). Not ellipses if the speaker is to pause. Not a period. Not a colon. Not a dash or a hyphen or extra blank space.

To test whether a name is used as a direct address, see if the sentence still makes sense--and the same sense--without it. If it does, then the use of the name is direct address.
I like Nicki, especially her boobs. (Not direct address.)
I like you, Nicki, especially your boobs. (Direct address.)

Agent Rogers of the FBI pays me for sex or information. (Not direct address.)
Agent Rogers, is the FBI paying me for sex or information? (Direct address.)

What happened to Jake? (Not direct address.)
What happened, Jake? (Direct address.)

Remember, for our next class I expect you to scan something you've written and correct any direct address comma omissions. Class dismissed!

Maryn, who's misplaced her hickory stick
 

Brindle Chase

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Wait... I don't like the comma... I like the 'Let's eat Erica' ... *lol*

If you get a chance, maybe you can answer one of my itching dilemmas. When would I use -- instead of a comma?
 

soapdish

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:ROFL:

Man, I need help with commas in a big way. Not specifically for Erotica, but this applies to all writing, I think. And it's much more fun than a stuffy writing guide.

*hopes commas are correct in post within thread about commas*

Oh, and...

*bookmarks thread*
 
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Maryn

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Wait... I don't like the comma... I like the 'Let's eat Erica' ... *lol*
Spoken like a Real Man. Or a certain kind of Real Woman, which you're not.

If you get a chance, maybe you can answer one of my itching dilemmas.
Have you tried Cortizone creme?

Maryn, who will add "When would I use -- instead of a comma?" to her list
 

Darklite

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Thanks for this. I've book-marked it too. And incidentally, some of those examples would make brilliant first lines for a challenge thread :D
 

V. Greene

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*snort* Thanks for this! My usual example of the comma of address for writers of legal age was "Come on, Lily." It generally got the point across.
 

barbilarry

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Thank you,Maryn, well done. I bookmarked it as well. Erotica University, yeah!
 

Maryn

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Ooh, Erotica U, I like that. I'm stealing it!

Maryn, hurrying away before you can catch her
 

barbilarry

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*tee hee* No problem! You can have it. A thank you gift for all the help you give me.
 

Maryn

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Thanks. It was fun to think them up.

Maryn, appreciative
 

Maryn

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But were they memorable enough to be instructional? That was the point. (Maryn paces from one side of the room to the other, the hickory stick held behind her in both hands.) Because you. Will. Learn! (The stick swoops through the still air and lands on Mark's desk.)

Maryn, who sees these commas omitted in maybe 85% of the critiques she does
 

Paul

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But were they memorable enough to be instructional? That was the point. (Maryn paces from one side of the room to the other, the hickory stick held behind her in both hands.) Because you. Will. Learn! (The stick swoops through the still air and lands on Mark's desk.)

Maryn, who sees these commas omitted in maybe 85% of the critiques she does

Oh,

Feeling kinda restless.

What was that about grammar?

Must go to bedroom.