When you got married...

WildScribe · Feb 23, 2010

Lavern08 said:
IF we'd had a wedding, and IF my Hunny had smashed cake in my face, there would not have been any *wedding night loving* for him at all.

I. Am. Dead. Serious. People!

I don't think we had sex on the wedding night. I remember watching a movie, and I remember waking up hours later sprawled across the bed and still dressed. We both totally passed out before we even finished the movie. Then I think we ordered pizza for dinner and passed out again.

Silver King · Feb 23, 2010

When I was married, my sister made the wedding cake. She was a baker and decorator extraordinaire. She'd always been a bit of a show-off, and I got the feeling that she outdid herself more as a way to prove her cake making prowess than as a gift to her brother. You'd have to know her, I guess, or witnessed the way she dragged guests past that cake to admire her handiwork.

When it came time to share a slice with my new bride, there was no thought or desire between us to mash it into each others' faces. She simply offered me a small morsel, which I accepted from her fingers, and I offered her some in return. What she did next surprised me, as I'm sure it did some of the guests looking on: She held my hand between both of hers, then took the first three fingers that were holding the cake deep into her mouth. A low cooing sound hummed from her throat, and she ever so slowly released my fingers past her lips, where not a spec of icing was left on my flesh.

At that moment, I was ready to skip the rest of the reception and move on to more pressing matters.

Wayne K · Feb 23, 2010

We don't let teh gays marry, but fish are fine. What a country

IceCreamEmpress · Feb 23, 2010

I usually see grooms smushing cake into the brides' faces more than the reverse, so I'm not buying that "it's feminist!" explanation.

thethinker42 · Feb 23, 2010

Silver King said:
When it came time to share a slice with my new bride, there was no thought or desire between us to mash it into each others' faces. She simply offered me a small morsel, which I accepted from her fingers, and I offered her some in return. What she did next surprised me, as I'm sure it did some of the guests looking on: She held my hand between both of hers, then took the first three fingers that were holding the cake deep into her mouth. A low cooing sound hummed from her throat, and she ever so slowly released my fingers past her lips, where not a spec of icing was left on my flesh.

At that moment, I was ready to skip the rest of the reception and move on to more pressing matters.

Epic. Win.

WildScribe · Feb 23, 2010

thethinker42 said:
Epic. Win.

Second that. I like your wife.

Silver King · Feb 23, 2010

Wayne K said:
We don't let teh gays marry, but fish are fine. What a country

That's because some fish species can change sex to suit their environment. Makes it all legal, no matter which body of water they reside.

Wayne K · Feb 23, 2010

Transsexual fishes?

WildScribe · Feb 23, 2010

Wayne K said:
Transsexual fishes?

I hear they're from Transylvania. Originally.

Silver King · Feb 23, 2010

Wayne K said:
Transsexual fishes?

Kinda, only it's referred to as sequential hermaphrodites, where the sex change occurs naturally without any scalpels.

MattW · Feb 24, 2010

An observation, not about the fine folks here, but in general.

Many brides aggressively deny their mothers the chance to interfere in a wedding, which I think is somewhat fair, yet at the same time, refuse any input from the groom because it is "her day."

If it was her day, why bother with a wedding, why not have a grand party where everyone lines up to kiss her ass?

thethinker42 · Feb 24, 2010

MattW said:
An observation, not about the fine folks here, but in general.

Many brides aggressively deny their mothers the chance to interfere in a wedding, which I think is somewhat fair, yet at the same time, refuse any input from the groom because it is "her day."

If it was her day, why bother with a wedding, why not have a grand party where everyone lines up to kiss her ass?

I'm with you on this one. My husband had a lot of input on ours even though he was at sea up until two weeks before the wedding. It was his day too.

For that matter, I was open to input from my mom, too. She helped a hell of a lot. The whole bridezilla thing disgusts me. I wasn't about to allow someone to commandeer my wedding, but I was certainly open to input and suggestions.

Jersey Chick · Feb 24, 2010

My husband had input - but he basically said, "Whatever you want (except for the Vegas/Elvis impersonator) is fine with me." Still, I dragged him all over the place to find the perfect this and best that.

As for my wedding night - we watched The Shining (how utterly romantic, no??) and it was the same night Mike Tyson bit off Evander Holyfield's ear.

How's that for a point of reference?

Mr Flibble · Feb 24, 2010

Old Man had plenty of say in all of it ( though his mum did insist he wore a suit)

Until it came time for the speech when he came over all shy and clammed up

MattW · Feb 24, 2010

I had input on the things that were important to me, and let my wife know she had free rein for the things she wanted.

I micromanaged the DJ, and sampled every possible dish and cake/icing combo.

Jersey Chick · Feb 24, 2010

My husband took care of the music. The deejay was a friend of his - we got a good deal.

I think he enjoyed sampling all the food - we must've gone to 20 places before deciding.

rhymegirl · Feb 24, 2010

It is amazing the way families try to decide wedding plans for a couple.

My husband and I simply wanted to get married by a justice of the peace with only two witnesses present--basically a best man and maid of honor. That's it.

Nothing fancy.

However, his family and my family protested. "Oh no, we HAVE to be there!" So the guest list grew. First it was just his brothers and sisters and mother and my sisters and parents, then we added his boss and wife, his friends, my friends....

I never cared about fancy cakes, flowers, a band, wedding gown, any of that stuff. I wore a white dress. We had a nice dinner, no band, very simple ceremony.

Lavern08 · Feb 24, 2010

After we did a simple exchange of vows in our Pastor's office, we went to a great Seafood Restaurant...

...I made sure Hunny ate plenty of oysters.

ad_lucem · Feb 24, 2010

MattW said:
An observation, not about the fine folks here, but in general.

Many brides aggressively deny their mothers the chance to interfere in a wedding, which I think is somewhat fair, yet at the same time, refuse any input from the groom because it is "her day."

If it was her day, why bother with a wedding, why not have a grand party where everyone lines up to kiss her ass?

Those bridezilla shows and wedding planner shows and gown ordering shows and cake shows (what a big production weddings are, eh?)...I've caught a few minutes channel surfing here and there. But, my first thought is always "Why the @#$@# would anyone want to marry that thing in the first place????"

I mean, if she's that much of a raging yaknowwhat over the wedding, what happens on down the line?

Good in bed? Rich pappy and lined up to inherit everything? Groom has an insurance policy on her and cut the brake lines to the wedding limo.... I mean, srsly, WHAT?

MattW · Feb 24, 2010

ad_lucem said:
Those bridezilla shows and wedding planner shows and gown ordering shows and cake shows (what a big production weddings are, eh?)...I've caught a few minutes channel surfing here and there. But, my first thought is always "Why the @#$@# would anyone want to marry that thing in the first place????"

As the father of a little girl, I want her to have wonderful things and great experiences, but what kind of expectations do things like these set?

There's a whole spoiled princess industry* out there trying to bankrupt me already, and she's only 2 months old!

* (toddler, tween & teen pageants, super sweet sixteens, Benz birthdays, and outlandish weddings)

ad_lucem · Feb 24, 2010

MattW said:
As the father of a little girl, I want her to have wonderful things and great experiences, but what kind of expectations do things like these set?

There's a whole spoiled princess industry* out there trying to bankrupt me already, and she's only 2 months old!

* (toddler, tween & teen pageants, super sweet sixteens, Benz birthdays, and outlandish weddings)

That's my one and only girl in my avy.

But, don't get the wrong idea. She's got two (soon to be three) brothers to keep her grounded in reality.

And by that I mean, the girl may like to dress as a princess, but shows a healthy appreciation for mudpies, trains, trucks, nerf guns and pirate swords.

Hopefully, this will hold... because I don't play the lotto and don't have any rich relatives to kick the bucket and leave me flush with cash...nor do I harbour any real hope of becoming rich and famous through writing...

So... the whole princess industry can bite me. Can't get blood from a turnip, you know

When you got married...

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