Kitchen PB sending wrong message?

CharleyGirl · Feb 8, 2010

Picture books readers and writers, I would love to hear your opinion

More as an exercise than anything (it's true what they say--a good picture book is really tough to write), I wrote a 600 word picture book.

The story, RUPERT SPUDDY'S KITCHEN BUDDIES- THE VEGETABLE OMELET, provides a brief introduction to common kitchen items as well as the steps necessary when cooking an omelet (gather ingredients, stir, pour, cook, etc.)

The premise is below, and I'm wondering whether it seems as though it might encourage little kids to go in the kitchen unsupervised. It's a silly story, and it's implied that the boy falls asleep with his grandmother and is actually dreaming, but I don't know what the rules are in terms of messaging in PBs.

Moms and dads are always cooking in the kitchen and little Rupert Spuddy feels left out. One day when his grandmother is babysitting, she falls asleep and Rupert discovers the wonders of the kitchen. He meets Patty Pan, Suzy Spoon, Barry Bowl, Refrigerator Ralph and hot-tempered Ollie Oven. They make a scrumptious vegetable omelet together and then Rupert falls back asleep. When he wakes, Rupert wonders if it was real, or all a dream.

PS--I know that alliteration with names is done a lot and might not be very original, but I'm more concerned with the subject matter and approach right now. Thanks!

Cyia · Feb 8, 2010

Personally, I think it would be one of those "Love/Hate" books with one group of parents saying it encourages dangerous behavior and others saying it's cute.

Also, personally, I'm in the "hate" group. Not only does it cast granny in a bad light (falling asleep on duty!!!!), which could make grandparents not want to read the book to their grandkids, but it makes things like the oven approachable at an age where kids should stay away from them.

There was a book a few years ago that had something like this in it, where a kid and his mom were making "Stewed Stew" or some such to get rid of his bad mood. At one point, the kid is shown standing on a stool with his face over a steaming pot screaming his bad mood into the boiling water while mom watches, smiling.

My cousin bought that book for her little girl, and even as a kid, I remember thinking there was something seriously wrong with that picture.

CharleyGirl · Feb 8, 2010

Cyia said:
Personally, I think it would be one of those "Love/Hate" books with one group of parents saying it encourages dangerous behavior and others saying it's cute.

Also, personally, I'm in the "hate" group. Not only does it cast granny in a bad light (falling asleep on duty!!!!), which could make grandparents not want to read the book to their grandkids, but it makes things like the oven approachable at an age where kids should stay away from them.

My cousin bought that book for her little girl, and even as a kid, I remember thinking there was something seriously wrong with that picture.

Thanks so much for replying--I thought lots of those things myself (Grandma falling asleep on duty, etc.), but wasn't sure if the whole story was a huge no-no. I had an inkling that it might be sending some innappropriate messages--that's why I posted the question, and I really appreciate you taking the time to comment!

CharleyGirl · Feb 8, 2010

Maybe I could rewrite it so that the parents are introducing the child to various kitchen instruments, giving them silly names, but clearly saying that certain things were "adult-only"? At least that would eliminate Granny snoozing on the job...

suki · Feb 8, 2010

I'll add that if you are going to do something like this, to make it more kid friendly, the cooking and product should be wacky. A vegetable omlette feels so "good for you" preachy to me. So, if you do go for some version of it, go wild and make it fun - funny food a kid will laugh at.

~suki

suki · Feb 8, 2010

CharleyGirl said:
Maybe I could rewrite it so that the parents are introducing the child to various kitchen instruments, giving them silly names, but clearly saying that certain things were "adult-only"? At least that would eliminate Granny snoozing on the job...

But who is your audience? I see few kids wanting to read a "guide to the kitchen" - even with the prevalence of cookbooks for kids. if the kid is interested in cooking, there are real non-ficition approaches.

For a PB to work I think it has to be funny, not instructional.

~suki

Ivan_B · Feb 8, 2010

I think maybe more of an issue for me, but perhaps not a problem if the story's good enough, is the alliterated names thing. There's an awful lot of stories with terry table and charlie chopstick or any number of the millions of variations thereof.
Maybe you'd be better off making the story about a group of ingredients who want to get cooked with (perhaps in a cold dish or something that kids could actually use as a recipe with parents' supervision). The boy is surprised firstly that the vegetables can talk, and secondly that they want him to cut them up and cook with them. Perhaps he can learn a thing or two about health, maybe the ingredients want nothing more than to make the boy healthy and strong.
This, for me, would have more lasting appeal, be a bit more humorous and less formulaic, and lead to some funny pictures, more so than a talking oven.

CharleyGirl · Feb 8, 2010

Great comments! Rupert actually grabs quite a few unusual veggies from the fridge, but it would probably be more fun if he grabbed leftover meatloaf, bologna, chocolate chip cookie dough, etc. to put in the omelet--great point!

In terms of it being instructional, that's limited to showing Rupert using Suzy Spoon to stir, Barry Bowl to hold the ingredients, and Patty Pan to cook it. They sing a silly song, and have a fun time making the food. I totally see your point though--most kids would probably find it pretty boring.

Ivan_B · Feb 8, 2010

Thinking about it a little more, there are a good few recipes that kids can cook that don't involve knives or extreme heat, and are a lot of fun. I'm thinking of rocky-road-style fridge cakes with cornflakes in melted chocolate, marshmallows, biscuit base, you name it, all layered up and stuck in the fridge for a few hours. You could have fun with it making it more and more tasty, or you could make it disgusting and add all the meatloaf etc, but those two would be very different experiences because the young reader would only actually cook the first of the two.

Polenth · Feb 8, 2010

I did a lot of baking as a young child, but I wasn't able to fry things until I was tall enough to reach the top of the cooker. Safety issues aside, children may be disappointed when they realise they can't follow the recipe in the book because they're too short.

Baking cakes makes the adult issue easier too. There are no sharp knifes or anything else involved. The only thing the adult does is put the tray of cupcakes (or whatever else) in the oven. You could easily have Tony the Table come to life and handle putting them in the oven (a table wearing oven gloves on its legs would be a cute picture too).

Cyia · Feb 8, 2010

If you're including parental supervision, it could be something like: A Goof-Off Omlette.

A bored kid with nothing to do on something like a camping trip is up early with mom or dad and they occupy the kid with making breakfast. The kid keeps coming up with crazy ingredients like pine cones and moss and sand from an anthill while mom/dad is making a real, yummy omlette on the cook stove.

CharleyGirl · Feb 8, 2010

Ivan B and Polenth- Great thoughts! I think my initial text will be thrown out, but now I'm getting new ideas for action and dialogue. Thanks!

CharleyGirl · Feb 8, 2010

Cyia said:
If you're including parental supervision, it could be something like: A Goof-Off Omlette.

A bored kid with nothing to do on something like a camping trip is up early with mom or dad and they occupy the kid with making breakfast. The kid keeps coming up with crazy ingredients like pine cones and moss and sand from an anthill while mom/dad is making a real, yummy omlette on the cook stove.

Fun!

MsJudy · Feb 8, 2010

Pamela Duncan has a book about Warthogs making cupcakes. They make a HUGE mess, throw in things like pickles and a teddy bear, all very silly. At the back there are two cupcake recipes, one for humans and one for warthogs.

I think the title is WARTHOGS IN THE KITCHEN.

Newguy1428 · Feb 8, 2010

Hey CG,

I don't have children, but my siblings have given me a dozen nieces and nephews to learn from and there have been no lawsuits.

Well if what everyone is suggesting is true, there must have been a children's book just like yours in the past because my niece was a constant solo cook. Fortunately, her attention span wasn't long enough to put her in danger. My brother often told stories of an omelete made from all 3 dozen eggs, egg shells included, left in the mixing bowl on the floor. Also, an unknown dish that required an entire bottle of olive oil to be dumped on the floor. She seemed to be always cooking for about thirty or more guests. They were probably animals.

Grandma falling asleep? Isn't that a guarantee. You have to get granny out of the picture someonehow. I prefer grandma turning off her hearing aid and getting herself tied up in an Internet gambling game.

I think something you need to think about is the entertaining quality of the story, rather than the moral responsibility of a comedy. The best comedians are often completely inept at predicting what their guests will do with their jokes. Or, they consider every irresponsible gag they do is a dare to the most impressionable?

CharleyGirl · Feb 9, 2010

Newguy1428 said:
Hey CG,

Also, an unknown dish that required an entire bottle of olive oil to be dumped on the floor. She seemed to be always cooking for about thirty or more guests. They were probably animals.

Grandma falling asleep? Isn't that a guarantee. You have to get granny out of the picture someonehow. I prefer grandma turning off her hearing aid and getting herself tied up in an Internet gambling game.

QUOTE]

That's hilarious! Nice mental picture--Granny at the computer, gambling away the kid's inheritance--hee, hee. You guys are giving me all sorts of fun ideas!

CharleyGirl · Feb 9, 2010

JudScotKev said:
Pamela Duncan has a book about Warthogs making cupcakes. They make a HUGE mess, throw in things like pickles and a teddy bear, all very silly. At the back there are two cupcake recipes, one for humans and one for warthogs.

I think the title is WARTHOGS IN THE KITCHEN.

Thanks for the tip--I'll take a look at it. I don't think this is something I'll end up submitting (I'm just not comfortable/satisfied at all with my efforts in writing PBs), but it's always nice to get suggestions of what to read. Lately, I've been doing a lot more reading than writing anyway, just to see what's out there.

Wayne K · Feb 9, 2010

I think the message that you "are" sending is the one that should be considered. Getting kids interested in making their own food, instead of the garbage that's being advertised to them, is important.

I personally believe one of the main contributors to obesity is our lack of appreciation for our food. Also, the person who cooks tends to eat less. I think it's because their hands and minds are busy.

Good luck with the book. It's a great idea.

CharleyGirl · Feb 9, 2010

Wayne K said:
I think the message that you "are" sending is the one that should be considered. Getting kids interested in making their own food, instead of the garbage that's being advertised to them, is important.

I personally believe one of the main contributors to obesity is our lack of appreciation for our food. Also, the person who cooks tends to eat less. I think it's because their hands and minds are busy.

Good luck with the book. It's a great idea.

Thanks Wayne--I agree that cooking is a great way for kids to learn about nutrition (even when making cookies--hey, it might come up!...okay, so maybe not with cookies/cake), plus it's a really fun way for kids and their friends to bond (parents too).

Wayne K · Feb 9, 2010

I lost 100 pounds in a little over a year, and I'll tell you how I did it. I didn't. I ate all the same stuff, and ate a lot, but I started making my own food. Bread, cookies, scones, tortilla shells. Soups chowders, french fries, salads , anything...Cooks.com saved my life.

Yeah, even cookies and cakes and pies. And a lot of them. I believe the quality of the ingredients, and the chemicals in our food messes up our bodies, as well as our minds.

Even with a disclaimer about not cooking without an adult present, there's going to be one or two kids who will do something stupid. It happens with toys, food, drugs..everything.

It's not the writers fault. Some kids are (sorry) stupid.

ETA: I set fire to our kitchen when I was eight, so I say that from experience

Newguy1428 · Feb 9, 2010

Children are impulsive and putting impulsivity in chracters is a great plot driver.

There's an old cartoon, I forget the name of it, where two characters find themselves in a house in the middle of nowhere. The straight guy starts looking around for food, while the joker starts pulling on a handle that says end-of-the-world or something. After a scuffle the handle goes down and the world blows up. The characters are left on the apple core-like remains of the planet.

Stijn Hommes · Feb 10, 2010

I think having the kid use an oven with adult supervision would be fine, but that opens up the story for adult interference and a lot less fun. Let Granny snooze on the job and choose a non-heated recipe. That way your main character can still do all the cooking himself and get the right message across without using the cooker or the oven.

By the way, I'm one of those people who believes kids should learn to handle dull knifes as soon as possible. Teach them the difference between dull and sharp knifes and let them cut up as much as they can on their own. After all, it won't take long for them to learn using scissors either...

CharleyGirl · Feb 10, 2010

Stijn Hommes said:
I think having the kid use an oven with adult supervision would be fine, but that opens up the story for adult interference and a lot less fun. Let Granny snooze on the job and choose a non-heated recipe. That way your main character can still do all the cooking himself and get the right message across without using the cooker or the oven.

By the way, I'm one of those people who believes kids should learn to handle dull knifes as soon as possible...

Good suggestion--I agree that it could be more fun without the adult. Now I'm wondering whether to have the kitchen tools come to life and talk to Rupert, or have it just be a big, silly, messy experiment in cooking by himself. Lots of possibilities here--thanks for the advice!

MsJudy · Feb 10, 2010

Just thought of another: BUNNYCAKES by Rosemary Wells. You know, Max and Ruby. How old do you suppose ruby is supposed to be? 10? 11? She bakes Grandma a birthday cake all by herself, using the mixer and the stove and everything. Max, meanwhile, is out making a mud cake with caterpillar frosting...

Plus Ruby keeps sending Max off to the store all by himself to replace the ingredients he's spilled on the floor. That's at least as dangerous as using the stove! So I suppose it's all about the setting you use, the world you create, whether it seems to be encouraging things.

To be honest, I have a lot more concern about "learning to stir with Suzy Spoon." That could easily turn into talking down to kids.

What about a kid who knows how to make something simple and delicious...but the utensils won't cooperate?

Ivan_B · Feb 10, 2010

One more thing, and I think this goes without saying, but kids LOVE mess! The kids who've read my current WIP have all loved this bit in a hectic kitchen the best because you can have so much fun with slipping about on the gravy and burning the mashed potato. Whether or not he's making nice or horrible food, there can be mess, and it's great to teach that mess is fine. It's part of having fun. Even if he ends up making nice food, just getting chocolate on your nose, that sort of stuff, makes the whole thing more fun for a kid, and all the more alluring to actually go and make.

Kitchen PB sending wrong message?

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