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Anyone willing to read my first chapter?

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kaitie

kaitie

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I'm feeling pretty confident on the rest of the book, but currently having a couple of issues with the first chapter. I don't know if they're really issues or if I'm just overthinking, and I'm really hoping to have some people take a look at it for me and let me know what they think. Basically it's just two scenes in question, but I think it works a bit better in context. The chapter itself is long (9k) which is why it's not up on the SYW area. Anyway, any help would be greatly appreciated.

It occurs to me that I should probably clarify to say that it's a suspense semi kinda espionage story.
 
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Phlex

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I'd be more than happy to read it if you'd like me to. If you're interested PM me and I'll send you my e-mail.
 

Pied_Piper

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Hi Kaitie,

I am fairly new here but I would be honoured to read your chapter if if you like. If you could tell me little about the story and what kind of comments you are looking for (e.g. grammatical, alternate sentences, etc.) that would help very much. Please PM me and I will send you my e-mail.
 
kaitie

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Weehoo! Sorry guys. I've been SUPER busy the past couple of days and haven't even thought to come back here. Anyway, I'll send PMs tomorrow morning (it's after 1230 already here).

And thanks LOADS!

Oh yeah, it's currently a .doc file (I use Office 2007 but I changed the format to make it more accessible) but I can change it to .rtf or something if that would be better.
 
kaitie

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Oops, I should have gone "Edit" and I deleted instead. Gad, I just woke up lol! Anyway, I was going to say I certainly won't turn down opinions, especially considering everyone has different tastes and thoughts.
 
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