Favorite line you've written

Wayne K · Nov 16, 2009

"Welcome to Somers," the guard said as I got to him, "I hope you brought you chest protector."

"It's not my chest I'm worried about."

Wrote this about ten minutes ago.

Exir · Nov 16, 2009

Ashlen was dreaming, and she knew it too.

Maxinquaye · Nov 16, 2009

I write AT LEAST 1000 words per day. Making 365k words per year.

I've not counted fiction writing in that.

I can't barely remember what I wrote last week, much less any favorite lines

Tanydwr · Nov 16, 2009

This is from one of WIPs, (working title) The Scholar. Basically, a maid is scandalised by Crisiant's lack of a corset the wearing of which is Council law (there's some really conservative prudes in the Council). Crisiant and Connor are posing as a married couple. Unfortunately, since I'm changing that aspect of the novel (i.e. losing the corsets for anyone below noble classes and substituting bodices worn over the top of dress/blouse, which Crisiant has), this wonderful line will have to go...

“Sir!” Agnes looked scandalised. “’Tis Council law.”

“I –” Crisiant began, wet her lips, and continued, feeling her blush increase, “my husband does not care for that aspect of Council law.” She caught Agnes’ arm, pulling the girl closer in order to explain in hushed tones. “We’re still newlywed and he… finds the laces – and the undoing of laces – erm, frustrating. I, my last corset, it was, well, that is to say it was…”

“Damaged?”

Along with this little gem...

Connor latched the door behind her, his face burning. “I find the laces frustrating?”

“Well, what else am I going to say?” Crisiant demanded. “Sorry, but I forgot about that when I pilfered my clothing from a castle room?”

MGraybosch · Nov 16, 2009

Here's a snippet I've saved for The Black Rose, a sequel to Starbreaker.

"I have your men surrounded, General," said Morgan as he held out his hand to accept General Kalren's sword. "The sooner you accept your defeat, the less they will suffer."

"What of my terms?"

"What of them? My demand was for unconditional surrender. What part of my demand did you fail to understand?"

"But that is simply not done!"

Morgan advanced upon Kalren and drew his sword. "Welcome to how I do things. Surrender now, and I will treat your men as prisoners of war. They will be fed and given medical attention. Continue to defy me, and I will wipe you and yours from existence."

Morgan suspected that Kalren had gotten word of what had happened to the last regiment the Meranthe Queensryche had sent to quell his rebellion, for Kalren blanched at his threat. "There is no way you could make my army disappear. You are just an rogue Asura leading a rabble of disaffected farmers armed with black technology."

Morgan leaned closer, baring his teeth. "You would be shocked at how hungry my men and I get after a good massacre."

folkchick · Nov 16, 2009

From The Soul Seekers:

I rushed over to see if he was truly gone, letting out a giggle for the beautiful absurdity of it all. A ghost man in my room . . . kissing me . . . disappearing out my window like a half-dead Romeo. How utterly cool.

and

He looked up from the book he was reading, and filled me up with the breathtaking phenomenon of his cerulean eyes.

Don't know why I like them, I just do.

Diana W. · Nov 18, 2009

From my WIP Psychic Witness:

"He hesitated as a fleeting memory danced in his brain then danced out again, teasing the back of his mind something about his father."

Vomaxx · Nov 19, 2009

"Did you say he had a full head of hair or a head full of air?"

Ladyhawke_18 · Nov 19, 2009

[FONT=&quot]What if this was the day she picked a fight with me?[/FONT][FONT=&quot] A real fight. Like with scratching and kicking and possibly lighter burns.[/FONT]

Chris P · Nov 19, 2009

Everything I write is brilliant! (yeah, right!)

Just a few that come to mind right off:

Group of tourists looking at the Bent Pyramid of Sneferu in Egypt: "Bent pyramid of Snafu is more like it."

"Cats are like women. They'll let you know when they hold a grudge, but they'll never admit it."

The main character watching a friend's date being broken up by the girl's father: Her feline reflexes, quivering lip, stream of hateful words, and volcanic tears told Ricky that she was very young indeed. He now guessed that she couldn't have been more than fourteen.

Main character being told off by a local in a foreign country: "What makes you think that the American experience is so unique that you can't be judged by the same meter stick you judge the rest of us?"

Hittman · Nov 19, 2009

"Did you say he had a full head of hair or a head full of air?"

I read that too quick and saw "Did you say he had a full head of hair or a full ear of hair?"

Sn00py · Nov 20, 2009

He pruned lives like gardeners pruned trees; for practicality.

.

maestrowork · Nov 20, 2009

The warmth spread through his arms and body, the soreness on his shoulders beginning to melt away. He rested his arms on the table, let the soothing heat wash over him, and the hall brightened in an instant. He glanced at Lan-Fa. Her eyelids opened and shut like two giant clams, and her lips quavered when she laughed, two rows of yellow teeth gleaming in a soft glow of obscenity.

She was the ugliest woman he had ever met.

Charlie Horse · Dec 1, 2009

Hiram died sometime back around 1965 while watching the Watts Riots on TV. Some suggest he got so worked up over colored folk causing such a ruckus that it killed him. Pinky, being the first one on the scene knew better. The man had choked on a peanut.

S.J. · Dec 1, 2009

Tanydwr said:
...this wonderful line will have to go...

That's a shame, because I LOVE those lines - especially the first one. They're hilarious!

@ Charlie Horse: LOL.

Hahnx111 · Dec 2, 2009

Another line from my WIP HOPE:

It is almost as though the people around me have began sucking in oxygen two times faster than normal in hopes of taking more than just one last breath.

inkspatters · Dec 2, 2009

This

If milk ran over the road it would seep into the cracks. Dissolve against the asphalt, coated in engine-heat and the smell of petrol.

and

An orange paw with sharp nails rips through the air, through the bird.
Feathers float. Black and blue, like bruises in the air.

Saskatoonistan · Dec 2, 2009

The best sentence you've written. (merged with "Favorite Lines" in Novels forum)

I think we writers are terribly neurotic at the best of times and we're crazy hard on ourselves - I mean, we're our own worst critics. In the spirit of everyone patting themselves on the back, what is the one sentence you've written that you would consider to be your best?

For me, it was from my eBook Unseen World:

:Sun:

"Together, in a spinning jumble of tangled limbs, we fell into the darkness."

CaoPaux · Dec 2, 2009

(Above post merged from Roundtable.)

And since I'm here...

"...I'm gonna to sock you so hard your gramma'll have to knit your next sweater with both sleeves on the same side!"

kpdelaney · Dec 2, 2009

"I raised my half-empty glass to the rising sun..."

Charlie Horse · Dec 3, 2009

He hadn’t bought anything new for himself other than a pack of white Hanes t-shirts since Alice had died, and it was a safe bet everything else in his wardrobe was waiting to come back in style.

Charlie Horse · Dec 3, 2009

But like snowflakes, no two heads explode in quite the same way.

Wayne K · Dec 4, 2009

"And if by some chance, Jesus comes to raise the living and the dead, I'm gonna have Sal there waiting for you, with a fuckin' shovel."

I didn't like this when I wrote it, but it fit the character well. I like it now.

RadioactiveFox · Dec 4, 2009

I'm fond of this one even if it is somewhat Sue-ish.

Her amber eyes had darkened and there was a heavy cast to them like storm clouds on the horizon of a sunny day.

icerose · Dec 4, 2009

I have a new favorite line and I'm dying to share it.

*As I watched the last of her blood leak out the urge to jump up and dance around her corpse chanting "Ding dong the witch is dead." was near overwhelming...the chanting was probably a bit much.*

Favorite line you've written

Out of the cradle endlessly rocking

That cheeky buggerer

Lunch Break Novelist

Not a new kid

I'm evolving

Likes metaphors mixed, not stirred

Literary Laureate

Fear the Death Ray

Speaking in metaphors

Addict? I can quit whenever I want!

The coordinates keep changing...

Still the wrong side of Saskatoon

Mostly Harmless

Speaking in metaphors

Speaking in metaphors

I'm too young to feel this old.

Lost in School Work