What happens if I did this?

Exir

Out of the cradle endlessly rocking
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Here's an excerpt from Paul Schrader's TAXI DRIVER screenplay.

"The whole conviction of my life now rests upon the belief
that loneliness, far from being a rare and curious
phenomenon, is the central and inevitable fact of human
existence."

--Thomas Wolfe,
"God's Lonely Man"

TRAVIS BICKLE, age 26, lean, hard, the consummate loner. On
the surface he appears good-looking, even handsome; he has a
quiet steady look and a disarming smile which flashes from
nowhere, lighting up his whole face. But behind that smile,
around his dark eyes, in his gaunt cheeks, one can see the
ominous stains caused by a life of private fear, emptiness
and loneliness. He seems to have wandered in from a land
where it is always cold, a country where the inhabitants
seldom speak. The head moves, the expression changes, but
the eyes remain ever-fixed, unblinking, piercing empty space.

Travis is now drifting in and out of the New York City night
life, a dark shadow among darker shadows. Not noticed, no
reason to be noticed, Travis is one with his surroundings.
He wears rider jeans, cowboy boots, a plaid western shirt
and a worn beige Army jacket with a patch reading, "King
Kong Company 1968-70".

He has the smell of sex about him: Sick sex, repressed sex,
lonely sex, but sex nonetheless. He is a raw male force,
driving forward; toward what, one cannot tell. Then one
looks closer and sees the evitable. The clock sprig cannot
be wound continually tighter. As the earth moves toward the
sun, Travis Bickle moves toward violence.

FILM OPENS on EXT. of MANHATTAN CAB GARAGE. Weather-beaten
sign above driveway reads, "Taxi Enter Here". Yellow cabs
scuttle in and out. It is WINTER, snow is piled on the
curbs, the wind is howling.

INSIDE GARAGE are parked row upon row of multi-colored taxis.
Echoing SOUNDS of cabs idling, cabbies talking. Steamy
breath and exhaust fill the air.

INT. CORRIDOR of cab company offices. Lettering on ajar door
reads:

PERSONAL OFFICE

Marvis Cab Company
Blue and White Cab Co.
Acme Taxi
Dependable Taxi Services
JRB Cab Company
Speedo Taxi Service

2.


SOUND of office busywork: shuffling, typing, arguing.

PERSONAL OFFICE is a cluttered disarray. Sheets with heading
"Marvis, B&W, Acme" and so forth are tacked to crumbling
plaster wall: It is March. Desk is cluttered with forms,
reports and an old upright Royal typewriter.

Dishelved middle-aged New Yorker looks up from the desk. We
CUT IN to ongoing conversation between the middle-aged
PERSONNEL OFFICER and a YOUNG MAN standing in front on his
desk.

The young man is TRAVIS BICKLE. He wears his jeans, boots
and Army jacket. He takes a drag off his unfiltered cigarette.

The PERSONNEL OFFICER is beat and exhausted: he arrives at
work exhausted. TRAVIS is something else again. His intense
steely gaze is enough to jar even the PERSONNEL OFFICER out
of his workaday boredom.

AAAAAAAAaaaannnd here we finally have the first line of dialogue.

This breaks so many rules: show only what the camera can see, don't start with a detailed character description, start early, don't do epigraphs, etc etc. On the other hand, this is one of the most interesting and hooking opening I've read in a long long time, and the epigraph fits. It flows very well, and I didn't even notice anything wrong.

So, my question is, if I did a spec script like this, what would be the reaction:

1) This guy can't write for &$#*@

2) Go back to writing novels you.

3) Erm, I can't film that.

4) Okay, breaks a few rules, but it's really interesting so I'll read on.

5) Let me see... *starts reading, gets hooked from the first word and in half an hour he finishes reading the 120 page screenplay without a break* Gee where's your agent?
 

padnar

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I also used to wonder when I read such screenplays.
I read some one write Gr---and all such sounds for a page.
Many produced scripts are boring to read , while someone
just tossed my script because my periods got changed when my pdf
got converted to word.
padma
 

Stijn Hommes

Know what you write...
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Where did you get the script? A lot of stuff you find online is actually a transcript and not what the writer originally put on the page. And let's not forget the difference between the spec script and the shooting script. The first can't have camera directions (unless the director writes it), the second has to have them.

Personally, I find that there's a trade of. You need to include some unfilmable snippets to keep the readers attention.
 

icerose

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A few things to know about the writer of Taxi Driver.

1. He was already well established.

2. This script was handed to someone he knew, a personal contact.

3. He does break some rules but he doesn't break the most important one, that is "Don't bore your reader." A lot of the rules are set up because the vast majority of people can't pull them off. It's a very fine tight rope to walk and the writer has to be familiar with it enough to know when they've gone too far.

4. This was written in the 1970's. These days they want tighter leaner work.
 

mario_c

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The DVD has a sampling of Paul Schrader's original script - don't recall if it's the spec or shooting script. Derek's sticky has an authoritative listing of where to get specs - but do you guys have a favorite? Like, is Drew's Script-o-Rama less full of fan transcriptions than IMDSB or vice versa?
But as Icerose pointed out, the 70s were different :) It was all about breaking rules. The spec market is as conservative now as it will ever be, I hope.
 

Lady Ice

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It might help to create mood for the director
 

creativexec

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It's important to understand that the writing style in scripts has changed over the years. For instance, scripts from the 30s & 40s read very differently than anything circulating town presently. So, the analogy with TAXI DRIVER isn't a good one.

Instead of going back 40 years, look at the screenplay for AMERICAN BEAUTY or CRASH or SLUMDOG MILLIONAIRE or TITANIC and see how it's done in modern times.

Regardless, don't worry about rules, per se. The most successful scripts always seem to walk a fine line.

Who creates these rules anyway? I work in one of the biggest talent agencies in the world that judges material and sells it. I've never seen a memo anywhere that listed the "rules" in which to judge a screenplay. Either the script works or it doesn't work.

What's really important is that you communicate your story in the most effective way possible.


:)